To: Parkland High School Students / Sudden Media Stars
From: Mitch Berg, peasant
Re: Your sudden stardom
First things first – I’m sorry for the trauma that happened to you and your school. You might want to have a word with not just the FBI, but your school board, who was apparently aware of Nik Cruz’s growing madness.
Anyway – condolences.
Now – you’re not gonna like this, but some of you will thanks me, someday. I’m going to do something none of the adults in your life – especially those people whew flew down from Washington and New York with the bales of airline tickets and hotel reservations, barely hours after the shooting – are going to do.
I’m going to tell you the truth.
I get it. You’ve been through a traumatic experience. But you need to know that none of the things you’re ostensibly campaigning for would have prevented the shooting at your school.
Background checks? Florida has a huge gap it the mental health information it reports to the feds. Just like Minnesota. It wouldn’t – didn’t – work.
Banning “Assault Weapons?” It’s been tried – you were toddlers when the last ban ended. Even its supporters said it was just a feel-good law that did nothing about crime.
Bagging on the NRA? Yeah, that’ll save lives.
Repealing the Second Amendment? Please. Mass shootings and denying the right to keep and bear arms is not correlated with mass shootings.
Look, I get it; when I was your age, I thought the NRA was a CIA plot to make gun companies rich. it was an idea put in my head by the parents and grandparents of the people chaperoning you around DC and the CNN studios. They are using you as another way to try to turn the tide in a political battle they’ve been losing for thirty years, now.
You are being used as props. Pawns. Stage dressing.
Most of you will figure it out someday, with any luck.
That is all.