SCENE: Mitch BERG is looking through the stacks at Midway Used Books. G. Wellington BENBRIDGE-GELLER – better known to his social circle and fellow ‘Anti-Fascist Action Macalester” colleagues as “Wookie” – comes around the corner. BENBRIDGE-GELLER, age 25, a graduate of Carlton College (BA Anthropology and Women’s Studies), is dressed in black from head to toe, including a black hoodie splotched with home-painted slogans, over a “Che Guevara” t-shirt – the only color in his mien. He carries a gas mask and a bottle of bear spray in an NPR tote bag.
BENBRIDGE-GELLER: Hey, Merg!
BERG: Uh, hey, “Wookie”. What’s up?
BENBRIDGE-GELLER: Fascist symbols are, themselves, a threat of violence to their targets, and thus justify violence in response.
BERG: Meaning what?
BENBRIDGE-GELLER: It’s time to Punch a Nazi.
BERG: Huh. And you can tell Nazis by…
BENBRIDGE-GELLER: Swastikas. Brown shirts. Make America Great Again caps. GOP elephants.
BERG: So, pretty much anyone who disagrees with you is a Nazi, so you feel you have leave to punch pretty much anyone.
BERG: That means if anyone sees you, as you are an immediate threat to them, they can respond violently to you, then, as you are an immediate threat to them?
BENBRIDGE-GELLER: Nope. (Stops for a moment). Hey – aren’t you a conservative talk show host?
(BENBRIDGE-GELLER winds up to kick BERG, but BERG reacts first, emptying a container of CS spray into his BENBRIDGE-GELLER’s face. The younger guy falls to the floor, screaming, as BERG squirts the last remnants of the bottle at BENBRIDGE-GELLER’s head. He tosses the empty bottle container, hitting the younger man in the face, and then grabs the reading stool and brings it down on BENBRIDGE-GELLER’s solar plexus before turning to walk out of the store. A couple of patrons look at him, shocked)
BERG: What? You’re expecting a mildly sarcastic comic send-off to the bit?
(Bystanders go back to shopping as BERG pays for a couple copies of King and Country, and leaves store).