For The Gander

SCENE:  Mitch BERG is sitting in the tire shop, waiting for a patch on a slow leak.  Just as BERG thinks the phrase “slow leak”, Avery LIBRELLE enters the lobby, distracted, and sits.  Then, LIBRELLE notices BERG. 

LIBRELLE:  Merg!

BERG:  Er, hey, Avery.

LIBRELLE:  Donald Drumpf and the Senate are proposing racist immigration laws.

BERG:  Do tell.

LIBRELLE:  They want to limit immigration to people who speak English, have skills that are in demand in the US, and who can support themselves.

BERG:  Huh.  So – you like Canadian healthcare, rigiht?

LIBRELLE:  Of course.

BERG:  In fact, you like Canada.

LIBRELLE:  I wish the woke, blue states could secede and join up with Canada.

BERG:  You do realize that Canada’s immigration system requires would-be immigrants to have skills that Canada needs – but not to take a job a Canadian needs – or to be capable of starting a business that’ll employ Canadians, and that would-be immigrants be able to support themselves so as not to be an immediate burden on their single-payer health insurance system…

LIBRELLE:  But they…

BERG:  I know, I know – they also allow a strictly-limited, and fairly small, number of refugees, plus an equally strictly-lijmited number of relatives of Canadian citizens – who, in effect sponsor the immigrants.

LIBRELLE:  (stands, non-pliused)

BERG:  So are the Canadians “racist”?

(Tire store employee walks over to the two)

EMPLOYEE:  Mister…er, Miss… Mizz… (looks at BERG.  BERG shrugs)   Er…Avery?

LIBRELLE:  Yes?

EMPLOYEE:  We don’t actually sell cargo bike tires here…

And SCENE