Great Expectations

First, let me establish a couple things.

I’ve never really been into comic books. It just wasn’t really a thing when I was a kid.   I won’t say “you stopped reading comic books when you were 12” where I came from.  But I guess I did.

And while I am a pretty “live and let live” kind of guy, who is perfectly fine letting people have their own foibles and peccadilloes, I’ve always found over-the-top comic book fans inscrutable. That’s a polite way to put it; I’m tempted to mock intolerant people who get into holy wars about the DC and Marvel “universes”.

Comedy? Or documentary? You be the judge.

Like Star Trek fans writing each other out of their wills for preferring “Next Generation” over the Gene Roddenberry original, or Star Wars fans literally – I’m not making this up – screaming in anger over George Lucas’ re-editing of the Cantina scene in Srar Wars.  I’ve always found the obsessions of fanboys worth a chuckle: “Comic Store Guy” may be the only character on The Simpsons that really sticks with me;  he’s so brilliantly dead on, I can practically smell the waves of postadolescent funk rolling off of him. There just isn’t much in comic book “culture” that’s ever interested me.  (Except, of course, for The Flaming Carrot, which was a glorious spoof of comic book “culture”, and Queen and Country, which was just cool. Shut up).

And adaptations of comic books? X-Men? Captain America? Iron Man? Avengers? I’ve never watched any of them. I really just don’t care.

This ain’t hell. But it’s close.

So I’m probably as surprised as you are that I ever tuned in AMCs “The Walking Dead”. Moreso, in fact; I’ve always hated the horror genre, zombie movies in particular.

But I binge watched the first four seasons on Netflix; for seasons five and six, the weekly installments are just about the only thing I ever watch on my actual TV anymore.  It’s generally more or less capably written, frequently well acted, and by hook or crook generally winds up being a fairly addictive watch, even for this famously nonaddictive viewer.

“Hey – didn’t you play an almost identical part in Jericho?

But the most interesting thing about The Walking Dead is it’s timing. Think about previous shows that won the title of “number one show on television”; they cover a wide stretch of the media waterfront, obviously, but most of them have something to do with the mood of the nation at the time.

And for the last six years, the most popular show on American television is about a small group of misbegotten friends and neighbors surviving a civilization-ending catastrophe.  In the age of Obama, the number one show through most of the administration has been about complete, absolute, existential collapse.

And so I watch.

A cliffhanger out of a mole hill: if you have been near a browser or television for the past few weeks, don’t kid yourself; you’ve heard people talking about TWD’s season six finale, last Sunday night.

There has been much Sturm und Drang about the episode;  superfans, especially the ones who go back to the comic book, have referred to it as a “jumping the shark” moment.

Of course, they tend to be the same people who get disappointed by episodes where there is more story and less chopping off zombie heads, so I take that with a grain – no, a block –  of salt.

So I won’t go that far. Fact is, I expected a lot from last Sunday’s season finale – and year in, year out, the show has delivered.

But I have a couple of big beefs with the story, anyway.

“Negan”. The comic version. Not that it makes much difference at this point.

The first is with the idea of the Omniscient Villain.  To fully explain this, I have to throw out a bunch of spoilers – so I won’t.

But the worst, dumbest, most insulting overstretch of the imagination and over suspension of disbelief?

One of my favorite characters is Abraham – a grizzled veteran of combat, not just against zombies but against actual armed, trained humans.

Patton’s armored column drives toward the Elbe River. No, just kidding. It’s the group, debouching from their chosen combat vehicle.

The season finale asked us to accept the notion that a supposedly seasoned veteran of actual armed combat, would accept the idea that, although the party is at war with a large, powerful, human enemy (not to mention a countryside awash in zombies), he would allow Rick to load the entire group, including the sick pregnant girl, into a Winnebago – a flimsy, unreliable, unarmored, heavily-glassed-in vehicle that is the absolute worst combat vehicle ever designed – and blunder around the post-apocalyptic countryside, like they’re Chevy Chase on the way to Wallyworld, with no scouts, no reconnaissance, no mutually supporting teams, no overwatch?

Tactically speaking, this might have been a better formation than they tried in the Season 6 finale. Even with red coats and pipes and drums.

Not only did I not buy it, I groaned  out loud.  These idiots survived the apocalypse for two years?

This is what happens when comic book writers take over.

Note to producer Scott Gimpl, if you happen to be reading this: it was a terrible ending to a good season. Don’t do it again.

16 thoughts on “Great Expectations

  1. Observation: Many of the younger Bernie supporters are avid comic book/Marvel film fans. In fact, most of their inspirations and quotes come from fiction.

  2. Spoilers don’t bother me in the least. In fact I often read the last chapter of a book first.

  3. That said, I’m not a raging fanboi of any geek culture/universe like Star Wars, Star Trek, Dr Who, Marvel, DC, etc. I like them all, and have binge watched all of the 2005-present Dr Who, as well as the recent superhero TV shows like The Flash, Arrow, Gotham, Agents of SHIELD, and Agent Carter. I’m contemplating starting to watch Smallville, but like Dr Who, there are 9 seasons worth – and more episodes in an American season than a British season – so it’s a big commitment. I have seen all the Marvel movies since Hulk 2008. Hulk 2003 also but it wasn’t intended to be a part of this current run of Marvel universe movies

    They’re all great entertainment, but I am not emotionally invested in their accuracy and homage to their respective comic book/original universes.

    I still play along with the fanbois to make jokes, much like I play along with the absolute revulsion some people have towards Nickelback, but I don’t share said revulsion.

    (It is said that if you play Nickelback backwards, you can hear satanic messages. Even worse, if you play Nickelback forwards, you can hear Nickelback.)

  4. As far as comic books go, I stopped collecting them when I outgrew Richie Rich in 4th grade. I bought one more in my freshman year of college. It was a parody of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles called “Mildly Microwaved Pre-pubescent Kung Fu Gophers”, and it was freaking hilarious.

  5. Not a big comic universe fan either, haven’t become a fan of the walking dead (so far). I don’t get the big attraction of ‘graphic novels’; too many people lack the maturity and focus apparently to read serious material now, much less having to be entertained by pictures like the illustrations in children’s book. That said, I’ll own a passing amusement with the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (and women) from some years back.

    However, when you link as if there were some connection between the period of the Obama administration and the walking dead’s popularity, I have to point out again your failure to understand the distinction between correlation and causation.

    You could better make the point that after the Dubya apocalyptic economic crash, it wasn’t until the recovery of Obama that people could still find entertainment in this premise.

    More likely, the two things, Obama and zombie entertainment,, are utterly unrelated in any way. You lack a connection to show there is any relationship between the two.

  6. Right on cue, doggie runs up to poo on the perfectly good thread. Bad doggie, bad!

  7. I remember liking Groo the Wanderer….which had quite a bit of preposterous about it. And for apocalyptic transportation, I certainly favor the Airstream, which allows for far more up-armoring, and in a pinch, you can just keep the tow vehicle and ditch the trailer.

    And yes, giving a hundred billion bucks to the Iranians to develop nukes and ballistic missiles has absolutely nothing to do with apocalyptic collapses. It’s not like the 12th Imam is a staple of Shi’a theology or anything.

  8. I like TWD. But I hope no one watching it is expecting realism. One bite and you become a zombie, yet you splatter yourself with zombie guts all day and never worry about infection? Seriously? And after 6 years they haven’t figured out how to reload brass? You can buy the kits on ebay, fer crissakes.
    But the storyline is excellent. They are setting up a contrast and compare between Rick’s Path of War and Morgan’s Path of Peace. So far Morgan’s path seems better, but remember the guy who taught it to him was bitten and zombified just like anyone else.

  9. FYI, the craziest thing is in the first or 2nd episode when Merle hacksaws off his own hand instead of hacksawing through the 1/2″ soft steel pipe brace he was handcuffed to. Even hillbillies ain’t that stupid.

  10. And after 6 years they haven’t figured out how to reload brass? You can buy the kits on ebay, fer crissakes

    No kidding.

    You could tell the show was written by Hollywood people who’ve never seen a gun that wasn’t in the hands of a prop crew during the episode a few weeks back where Elvis was looking at a small foundry for reloading.

  11. I have to point out again your failure to understand the distinction between correlation and causation.

    DG is the LAST person who should be chiding Mitch on this.

  12. I have to point out again your failure to understand the distinction between correlation and causation.

    I DIDN’T CLAIM CAUSATION.

  13. Mitch; but arguably the guy who gave a hundred billion bucks to the Iranians for bupkus WILL be a causative factor when they decide to make Tel Aviv, or some other city, glow in the dark. So she’s not only wrong about you claiming causation, but also about not only whether there is a correlation, but finally….about whether Dear Leader is a cause of the problems we’ve got today.

    Let’s call it a “paska-for-brains” hat trick on her part.

  14. I didn’t realize that TWD was based on a comic — excuse me, graphic novel — until last year.
    As Mitch mentioned, the survivors do stupid things. Maybe some of the stupid things are explained better in the comic version, but —
    Why no dogs? Man’s best friend could at least keep the dead from sneaking up on you. Plus they are expendable. Properly trained dogs could be sent on search and find living humans missions.
    They need Baretta M9’s. Double-action, fifteen shots per magazine. 9mm is all you need. Two Baretta M9’s and you could take out thirty walkers before switching to a skirmish weapon.
    Why no body armor? The don’t even wear long sleeve shirts. It’s like they don’t even care.
    Rick, I think, is on his way out. If he wasn’t the one killed in the season ender. He is starting to treat the living like the walkers. Kill on sight.

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