Pig, Meet New Lipstick
By Mitch Berg
There’s a new sheriff in town at “ProtectMN”.
She’s got size two shoes to fill.
And they’ll be having a party to talk about it tonight:
Dear Heinrich,
Come meet the new Executive Director of Protect Minnesota and learn how YOU can help prevent gun violence in our state. The Rev. Nancy Nord Bence is excited to meet you, share important information prior to caucusing on March 1, and hear your ideas for the growth of our coalition. Wine and appetizers will be provided.
After “Protect” MN’s last decade in the legislature, one might think the appetizer would be “crow”.
But I imagine they’ll be knocking back the vino, all right.
DATE: Thursday, February 25, 2016
TIME: Open House from 6:30-8:30pm
I’m pretty sure you need to be on the guest list to show up.
It’s right in the middle of the AM1280 Debate Party, so I won’t be able to attend.
Coincidence? I think not.
LOCATION: Protect Minnesota Offices, 2395 University Ave W, Suite 204, St. Paul MN 55114. (That’s in the Security Building on the corner of Raymond and University.) Street parking is free after 5pm. Come to the entrance on Raymond Avenue and our doorman will let you in.
Hope you’ll join us!
The Rev. Nancy Nord Bencewww.protectmn.org
Welcome to the battle, Reverend Nord Bence. I’ll extend you the same invitation I’ve been extending to your predecessor, Heather Martens, for the past decade; you can come on my show any Saturday afternoon and talk “gun safety”. Hopefully you’ll be less pusillanimous than your predecessor.
And just to show you I’m all about the same goals you are, I’ll do this for you:
Audience Participation: What advice do you, the smartest comment section in town‡, want to give Rev. Nord Bence?
Go!
‡ Well, most of you, anyway.
February 25th, 2016 at 12:39 pm
Heinrich. Heh!
February 25th, 2016 at 12:45 pm
“Wine and appetizers will be provided.”
Dear Rev, Given the size of crowd you’re likely to attract I’d suggest you not overbuy the handouts.
A 750mL bottle of Mogen David, tube of saltines, and 1lb of Velveeta should about cover your needs.
February 25th, 2016 at 2:45 pm
My advice — rent, don’t buy.
February 25th, 2016 at 2:49 pm
Wine and appetizers will be provided.
That. Right there. Summarizes everything.
February 25th, 2016 at 2:56 pm
The first time I read it through I thought it said “Women as appetizers will be provided.”
February 25th, 2016 at 4:39 pm
I don’t suppose that the Reverend Nancy is one of those Clint Eastwood type of reverends who beats ne’er do wells with axe handles?
February 25th, 2016 at 5:11 pm
Found her LinkedIN. Would anyone be surprised to know she’s also active in pro-abortion causes? She is at least consistent in opposing the right to life for the innocent.
February 25th, 2016 at 7:06 pm
Would anyone be surprised to know she’s also active in pro-abortion causes?
I’ll pass on those appetizers, thankyouverymuch
February 25th, 2016 at 7:11 pm
Holy crap. Just saw a picture of the good Rev; bet she’s got a flannel shirt for every day of the week. Probably pretty handy with power tools, too.
February 25th, 2016 at 8:47 pm
Just saw a picture of the good Rev; bet she’s got a flannel shirt for every day of the week. Probably pretty handy with power tools, too.
Just what are you insinuating, Swiftee? That she wears comfortable shoes?
February 26th, 2016 at 7:24 am
I think peeing your pants is still the best defense against rape or armed confrontation. If you have bowels to move, move them. If they shoot you dead, you won’t have to be embarrassed. Welcome to the war, Rev.
February 26th, 2016 at 11:10 am
I’d suggest that she fully shut off the logical reasoning part of her brain.
Seriously.
She can’t keep this gig if she doesn’t do that. Her only hopes are emotional appeals and non sequiturs.
(Of course, I’d suggest that a pro-abortion “Reverend” has probably done that already. But in case she hasn’t, the advice stands.)
February 26th, 2016 at 11:59 am
Come to think of it–having grown up in a church that was pretty liberal and I believe supported prenatal infanticide–it strikes me that the ability to do mental gymnastics to avoid admitting the obvious is a prerequisite in both liberal theology and liberal politics.
February 26th, 2016 at 3:04 pm
As a card-carrying member of the Missouri Synod, one of the more conservative branches of the Lutheran Church, I have come to understand that the Gospel and the Doctrine do NOT always comport with the membership.