Just One Life

Mitch BERG is walking through a pet food store.  He rounds a corner and runs into Avery LIBRELLE, who is plastering “Simulated Meat Is Murder!” stickers on bags of dog food.   Although BERG tries to evade, LIBRELLE sees him.  


BERG:  Aaaagh.  Er…hi, Avery.

LIBRELLE:  It’s time to institute universal background checks, ban clips that shoot thirty assault bullets a second, and get rid of assault AR47s.

BERG:  Two of those things don’t exist, and one of them will have no effect on crime but burden the law-abiding citizen exclusively.

LIBRELLE:  But if we save just one life, it’ll be worth it.

BERG:  So saving “just one life”, no matter how improbably, should be the basis for policy?

LIBRELLE:  Yep.  Human life is sacred.

BERG:  So then we should shut down the Green and Blue lines – about ten dead?  Or perhaps get rid of Obamacare?  Or for that matter, shutting down Planned Parenthood?

LIBRELLE:  Nooooo!  Some things are more important than human life!

(LIBRELLE puts bags of dog food around ears, runs from the store)


3 thoughts on “Just One Life

  1. “Just one life” is a great liberal line! I absolutely love it.

    My cousin tried it on me when I was wearing my NRA shirt during a holiday gathering, saying background checks would save lives. I pointed out that requiring teachers to be armed would have prevented much of Sandy Hook, so that to “save just one child’s life” we should make it a requirement that teachers be armed and trained. Then I went on to the Colorado movie theater shooting and remarked that it should have been a requirement than anyone with a concealed carry permit should have been actually carrying to “save just one life”. But she disengaged before I got very far on San Bernadino. (Unrepentant liberal is an understatement. She’s intelligent, but not thoughtful. She’s right at home in Eagan.)

    I’ve found “just one life” to be a lot more fun to deal with than asking the interlocutor to explain how their particular policy would actually accomplish what they actually say they want to accomplish (which, by the way, is rarely what they actually want to accomplish as far as guns go). Watching the person bumble around trying to explain how their policies would accomplish anything when they usually can’t justify them except with an emotional appeal rather than thought-out arguments is boring and just not as much fun as watching their heads blow up with taking their own arguments to their (il)logical conclusion.

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