In addition to gundecking the premiere of The Interview, my sources at the FBI tell me the North Koreans have demanded the following:
10. Also remove “Knocked Up” from circulation.
9. Bring back Life In Rehab
8. Digitally insert Kim Jong Un into all of Rogan’s parts in Freaks and Geeks.
7. Digitally insert Kim Jong Un at the head of the conquering Humans in Return of the King.
6. Green-light Kim Jong Un’s screenplay for “Indiana Jones and the Kimchi Hangover”.
5. A talk show on “Twin Cities News Talk”.
4. Digitally substitute Kim Jong Un for Jeff Daniels in The Big Lebowski
3. Go back and rewrite/reshoot/re-release Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. And get them right this time.
2. More nude scenes involving Jennifer Lawrence.
1. No South Park parody of the entire hacking/cancelling The Interview fiasco.
I’m pretty sure #5 is a given.
Hmmm. Surprised that “Digitally substitute Proprietor of Small Yet Regionally Prominent Blog & Weekend Radio Talk Show Host in more nude scenes involving Scarlett Johansson” didn’t make the top ten. Merg isn’t as tight with the NorK’s as I suspected.
I could get behind #3.
#1 would happen on Wednesday. Unfortunately for us they just had their season finale. Next year’s season premiere will not want to be missed. I also like #2 especially after what was released dusing the fappening
If Sony wanted to really deter the Norks from hacking them again they’d dump The Interview onto a free online streaming service.
Not a chance it’ll happen as Sony is too cowardly, but nobody with a political agenda would hack Sony again.
If #2 happens and Nork’s first lady objects, does she get machine gunned?