(SCENE: In the rotunda of the New Jersey state capitol in Trenton, at the swearing-in ceremony for Corey BOOKER, new junior Senator from Exit 18 on the Garden State Parkway. BOOKER is being sworn in by Governor Chris CHRISTIE, in a ceremony attended by a clot of various Jersey dignitaries).
(Fade in on CHRISTIE administering the last part of the oath of office)
BOOKER: “…to the best of my ability, so help me Sinatra”.
(Round of applause as BOOKER waves to the audience and CHRISTIE steps back to the dignitary seating. BOOKER steps to the mike).
BOOKER: Thank you. Thank you. (Applause dies down). Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
(Audience trades glances as hall falls silent).
BOOKER: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks. Thanks.
(Audience stirs)
BOOKER: Thanks. First, I want to thank Governor Christie for giving me the most eloquent introduction since the one I gave at the funeral of my old friend, T-Bone the Crack Dealer. He became a close confidante after trying to kill me with a chain saw after he accused me of cheating at cards in a pick-up 3-card monte game at a casino at Atlantic City in between rounds of my World Series of Poker championship, where I was partying with Kim Kardashian and her father Robert, talking about the time I held a dying Nicole Simpson in my arms after she was shot by Biggie Smalls. T-Bone told me “You are without a doubt the most competent, sensitive, and yet totally boss brother in history”, just before I hit my four million dollar jackpot. And then hit it with…Amy Adams. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
Not since I was governor of Philadelphia have I felt such a sense of profound calling…
CHRISTIE: (Sotto voce) Er, Senator? You were mayor. Of Newark.
BOOKER: Er…really? Newark?
CHRISTIE: Yes.
BOOKER: Are you sure?
CHRISTIE: Yep.
BOOKER: I need a second opinion. Mr. Springsteen?
SPRINGSTEEN: Yep. Newark.
BOOKER: You wrote “Rosalita” about me, didn’t you?
SPRINGSTEEN: (stares blankly, mouth moving, but no sound coming out)
BOOKER: And about that city with the giant Exxon sign?
SPRINGSTEEN: Er – that was “Jungleland”
BOOKER: You wrote “Jungleland” about me? And T-Bone?
CHRISTIE (Sotto Voce to an aide) Maybe Booker was “Eddie” in “Meeting Across the River”
BOOKER: Anyway – not since I was archduke of Manhattan have I…
CHRISTIE (exasperated): Mayor of Newark!
BOOKER (impatient): Are you sure? Newark? Really?
CHRISTIE: Really!
BOOKER: What state is that in?
(And SCENE)
Nice tap dancing hallucination around the fact that the tea party candidate lost in a landslide win for Cory Booker, and the radical right is destroying the GOP brand and totally discrediting hard right conservatism.
And Springsteen is still a liberal, to his core. He ought to know. A hint might be his deep support for Obama, not Romney.
Why is it conservatives love so much to believe things which are not true?
So help me Sinatra – nice touch. Falls apart after that.
Nice tap dancing hallucination around the fact that the tea party candidate lost in a landslide win for Cory Booker,
Nine points in a solid blue state is a “landslide”? Wow – that’s moving the goalposts.
BTW, it was half the margin people were predicting a month ago. In a SOLID blue state.
and the radical right is destroying the GOP brand and totally discrediting hard right conservatism.
And I’m sure your input as to what conservatives should believe is much appreciated…somewhere.
And Springsteen is still…
Oh, good God, who cares? You not only missed my point, but then tried to claim my point as your own in the last installment of my series.
Give it a rest.
Why is it conservatives love so much to believe things which are not true?
Yeah, we must all be crazy or something.
So help me Sinatra – nice touch. Falls apart after that.
Oh.
Also noted, Booker has been speaking about his father dying the day before the election, not the Kardashians. You left out Oprah, in your litany of stereotypes, btw.
Christie must be rejoicing that Booker ran for the Senate instead of challenging him for the governor’s race. Christie didn’t even want Booker on the same November ballot — no matter how much more the separate election cost. Tsk tsk tsk — shame on Christie for fiscal irresponsibility doing that.
Not to worry, Mitch. At least AC is still checking in, despite Obama telling everyone to ignore us lousy bloggers.
Dog Gone, trying to be stupid and “winning”:
“And Springsteen is still a liberal, to his core”
DG: It is truly a special world you live in.
Why does Dog Gone like Booker so much?
Booker makes up drug dealers. Dog Gone makes up experts in her neighborhood.
Booker pretended to live in Newark. Dog Gone pretends to be a fact checker.
They are perfect for each other.
When a yapping dog becomes annoying you muzzle it.
AK – heh.
DG – Actually, I think it’s Booker who’s thankful he didn’t have to run up against Christie. While Booker’s popularity has plummeted since it came out that he’s made entire swathes of his background up from whole cloth (heh) – a story broken in large part by longtime NARN friend Elianna Johnson at NRO – Christie is up by almost 30 points and rising.
For a “fact checker”, as always, you seem to have none of them at your disposal.
By the way – you’ve heard of “satire”, right?
I’ve sadly determined there are a lot of souls roaming this planet who have no understanding whatsoever about satire or parody. I had to call a guy a humorless douche on the phone after he meticulously and creepily tracked down my phone number (including calling my parents), because he didn’t understand parody. I still get an occasional e-mail or blog comment from humor-impaired people who can’t grasp my blog shouldn’t be taken quite so seriously.
I’m betting Dog Gone couldn’t tell Sarah Palin and Tina Fey apart.
I’m betting Dog Gone couldn’t tell Sarah Palin and Tina Fey apart.
Even if they were standing on her back porch?