No More Pencils, No More Books

SCENE:  MITCH is out for drinks with his old friends Inge “Lucky” CARROLL, meme-buffer for the Alliance for a Better Minnesota, and Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK, spokesbeing for Citizens4Luv, a left-leaning non-profit, and Avery LIBRELLE, progressive activist without opr.

CARROLL: (With three empty Mojito glasses and a full one in front of her) We need to do something about school massacres.

BIRKENSTOCK:  Yes (he says, fanning face with a folded piece of campaign literature), we have to dooooooooooooooo something.

LIBRELLE:  Doooooooooooooooooooooooooooo something!

MITCH: Well, yeah, but “we have to do something” has been the motivation for an endless cavalcade of stupidity leading to a boundless trove of misery over the years.  And let’s be honest; violent crime has been plummeting, and law-abiding gun owners are vastly less likely to commit any kind of crime than the general public.

LIBRELLE: Don’t bother us with details.  We have to ban large AR15 clip bullets and assault handguns!


MITCH:  Right, right, got that.  So – what do you think about teachers?

BIRKENSTOCK: They are the absolute salt of the earth.

MITCH: Elaborate please?

BIRKENSTOCK: They are not mere professionals.  They are like clergy, drawn to a higher calling, imparting knowledge and skills and good citizenship to our next generation.

CARROLL: That’s right. Teachers are a noble lot, a breed apart, drawn to an often thankless calling, working for 30 year careers at mere middle-class wages before retiring in their mid-fifties, doing one of the most put-upon jobs there is; trying to turn the illiterate children of Minnesota’s stupid and ignorant parents – who are the real problem with our education system – into good citizens.

LIBRELLE:  Hear hear.

MITCH: So all those stories about teachers who diddle their students…

CARROLL:  Oh, for crying out loud. That’s a teeeensy, tiny minority…

BIRKENSTOCK: …an almost insignificantly tiny one at that…

CARROLL: …of people in the profession.

MITCH: Right. So we shouldn’t tar and feather a larger, generally responsible group because of the misdeeds of a relatively small group of miscreants?

CARROLL: That would be the depth of stupidity.

LIBRELLE:  No kidding.  Bigot.

MITCH: Gotcha.  So – just to sum up; teachers are, statistically, good people, utterly trustworthy to be watching over your children?

CARROLL: Absolutely.

LIBRELLE: Unimpeachable.

BIRKENSTOCK: Beyond a doubt.

MITCH:   Good.  So – what do you think about South Dakota’s decision to allow teachers with carry permits, who’ve passed background checks and skills tests and are, thus, statistically 2-3 orders of magnitude safer than the general public, to carry their concealed firearms at school, in the interest of defending their charges from unforeseen violent crime?

CARROLL:  That’s just crazy!

BIRKENSTOCK: Teachers aren’t competent to do that.

LIBRELLE:  If you let teachers carry guns, someday a teacher will shoot a classroom full of their kids!

CARROLL: Teachers just can’t be trusted with that kind of power.

MITCH: I see.


8 thoughts on “No More Pencils, No More Books

  1. I see that the Democrats are attacking the Boy Scouts again this past weekend. I wonder how many boys who are involved in the BSA do mass murders? I would guess……zero. But the Democrat party wants to crush the BSA.

  2. Was in a Mills Fleet Farm this weekend. They have a sign up limiting the amount of ammo a customer can purchase each day, due to shortages.

  3. I really think the armed teacher/ armed guard issue is one that the rank and file DFL would not like top go to vote.

    Years ago when the misguided D.A.R.E. program was in its prime, the only justification most parents could give it was “Well, it’s still nice to have a cop in the school.”

    Clearly the intent of the program was a far second in purpose to just having someone with a gun close-by guarding their kids. Particularly after the Columbine incident. I have little doubt that most people, parents in particular, really like the idea of armed security. Naturally, a cop is preferable, but far too expensive. Most people realize that. Perhaps if the armed staff could be unionized …

    I did a little survey of ammo last week while out and about doing chores at Walmart, Fleet Farm, Gander Mountain, and a local gun shop (LGS).

    Only Gander Mountain and the LGS had any (literally any) handgun ammo. And what was there was grossly over-priced and in limited supply. All had daily purchase limits. Shotgun and hunting long gun ammo (the safe kind that won’t hurt people) was in good supply. Clearly the “real” second amendment, the one about hunting, is being supported.

    Amazingly, the one type of ammo that was completely absent anywhere was .22 LR. The lowly .22 was not to be had anywhere. I did attend the Minnesota Weapons Collectors show at the fairgrounds. .22 LR ammo was available there, the cheapest I saw was $50 per “brick” of 500 rds. and $5 per box of 50. Highest I saw was $65. This stuff normally sells between $15 – $20. I suspect a lot of what I saw at the show had recently been on the shelves of retailers.

    Not sure what these characters plan on doing with all their ammo if their hoped-for zombie invasion doesn’t happen …

  4. I must say, Mitch, that you have as many ‘friends on the left’ as Sean Hannity. I’m not sure that’s a good thing!

    But thanks for putting them in their place.

  5. According to one of my local gun shops, “preppers” are responsible for the dissapearance of .22 LR ammo. The owner says he sees the same people week after week buying up cases of the stuff.

    I’ve seen boxes of 50 for $7.50. Yow.

    Who knew “prepping” included instructions on how to spend your down time ( plinking) after the fall of civilization.

  6. Years ago, say 10 or so, I bought 10K rounds of Czech 22 for the absurd price of just under $100 at a surplus outlet. Still shoots fine, although given its origin I’m even more religious about cleaning the guns after use. (And just by saying that, I’ve tripped God knows how many FBI/DHS/CIA filters.)

    Most of the preppers are getting the 22 for small game work for TEOTWAWKI and for training their kids to shoot now. For small game (rabbits and the like) I can see the point, and for training beginning shooters of any age a 22 is the way to go — get the mechanics down before you try for bigger calibers.

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