Everything’s Been Solved

In St. Paul, the only reason the office vacancy rate is holding steady between a quarter and a third is because the state of Minnesota rents as much as they do.  Crime is rising, the tax base is shrinking, middle and working-class parents are fleeing the school system, the Midway and Frogtown are about to get a few islands of gentrification plopped (for a while, anyway) amid long stretches of government-imposed blight, taxes are up and “services” are down, the foreclosure crisis has gutted Frogtown, the North End and the lower East Side, property values are in the toilet and will stay there because of the City Council’s vacant building policies.

But we’re free of candy cigarettes, dammit!

A back-in-the-day soda shop in St. Paul has been busted for selling cigarettes — made of candy.

Lynden’s, on Hamline Avenue near Cretin-Derham Hall High School, said a city inspections official came in last week and gave the shop a warning and added that a misdemeanor citation — with a $500 fine — would be next if the non-carcinogenic confections continue to be sold.

And how was it that the City of Saint Paul was caused to spring into such decisive action?

“Somebody from Bloomington called and reported us,” Lynden said. “The whole thing is pretty weird.”

The folks at Lynden’s should have donated more to the DFL, apparently.

UPDATE: Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

The City of St. Paul is looking out For The Children, as usual.

Best comment on-line: “It’s true, candy cigarettes are a gateway drug to real cigarettes. I used to eat Gummi Worms and now I crave night-crawlers!”

Joe Doakes

Como Park

Strooth.  I started eating Lemonheads.  I became a huge Evan Dando fan.

(#forgottennineties)

4 thoughts on “Everything’s Been Solved

  1. Been living on the St. Paul side for 22 years, and a Highland Park homeowner for 21 years. I’ll stop at Lyndon’s for a cup of coffee once in while, just because I want to help out the new business’s in my neighborhood. Nice people trying hard to make a nostalgic ice cream shop. For you folks not counting points, they have some great stuff.

    But, St. Paul is becoming more and more like it the Mayor Jim Schiebel days every year. Long were the days of Mayor’s Norm Coleman and Randy Kelley, the Harris brothers, Mike, and Pat, both city councilman, and of course, school board member Tom Conlon. All guys who just wouldn’t take the DFL line as gospel. Who actually realized that a strong business community meant a good city.

    It’s a city with a lot of people suffering from DFL fatigue. Including me.

  2. Strooth. I started eating Lemonheads. I became a huge Evan Dando fan.

    Careful, Mitch — that sort of thing can lead to the Blake Babies.

  3. We should probably welcome, rather than decry the likes of this. Eventually even the low information types may begin to see this for the jackbooted nannyism that it is.

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