Hahahahahahahaha!
By Mitch Berg
Screencapped from the latest HuffPo:
Wow. Are our ruling elites paranoid much?
I’m going to speed-fisk the whole thing, really quickly here:
Oooh! Scary!
Yep. I hope that’s what every criminal scumbag in the US is seeing in their heads right about now; armed, empowered citizens. Firing hardball.
Right. Between. The. Eyes.
REACTIONS… Bloomberg: Ruling Is What We Mayors Believe Is One Of Our Tenets…
Oh, Mayor Bloomberg believes it’s one of your tenets? Well, why don’t you slip out of NYC and buy yourself a country and write your own constitution and appoint your own court, then, slapnuts! You and Arianna Huffington can have a splendid time!
Obama: Ruling Provides Much Needed Guidance …
What’s the shelf-life on this pronouncement?
McCain: Not The End Of Our Struggle…
Chicago Mayor: “A Very Frightening Decision”…
“Frightening”? You mean, like the reign of gang terror on Chicago’s streets? That kind of “frightening”? What “frightens” you about the common citizen’s God-given rights, you elitist douchebag?
First Major Pronouncement On Gun Rights In U.S. History…
But not the last.
Strikes Down DC’s 32-Year-Old Handgun Ban…
And danced on its grave.
Decision Goes Further Than Even What White House Wanted…
So what? We don’t look to the White House for the final word on our God-given rights, either.
NRA Head: This Is Just The Beginning…
It had better be.
NRA To File More Lawsuits To Challenge Handgun Restrictions
Let slip the dogs of forty years of retribution.
I’m so there.
June 26th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
Hardball? For between the eyes? Dude, hollowpoints are much better if you’re dealing with unarmored body parts.
June 26th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
hollowpoints are much better if you’re dealing with unarmored body parts
Thick skulls?
Why chance it?
June 26th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Cue the cries of “penis compensation” from people who work in pointy-topped sixty-story skyscrapers.
June 26th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Well, obviously the picture down the barrel of a person holding a pistol is showing poor gun safety (don’t point the gun at anything you don’t want to shoot).
I am wondering if the RNC will be allowing delegates to carry their weapons inside at the convention.
June 27th, 2008 at 1:30 am
I am wondering if the RNC will be allowing delegates to carry their weapons inside at the convention.
As a general principle – if they have a valid permit with their home state that is valid in Minnesota, and the X is open to permits, why not?
As a matter of fact in a venue where the Secret Service is running security for dozens of high-level federal officials? Probably not.
June 27th, 2008 at 5:15 am
Lileks revealed himself thus: “Cue the cries of “penis compensation” from people who work in pointy-topped sixty-story skyscrapers.”
Haha! Pointy-headed elites in pointy-topped towers! You heartland boobs will sign onto anything as long as you’re convinced you’re mindlessly following the local elites instead of your true west- and east-coast overlords.
Tired of hearing “eight o’clock, seven Central” – the entire Midwest dismissed as an afterthought – while your betters in the pointy towers sip delicious white wine and latte cocktails? North Dakota much?
June 27th, 2008 at 7:37 am
Lileks revealed himself thus: “Cue the cries of “penis compensation” from people who work in pointy-topped sixty-story skyscrapers.”
Pointy-headed elites in pointy-topped skyscrapers! You betray a characteristic Midwestern fear of elites, Lileks. And pointyness. Just to blow your little mind, I’ll spell the word the elitist, French way (with a pointy accent aigu, n’est-ce pas?): Élite! Run for your life! Mwahahaha!
Angryclown wonders where your fears come from. The pointyness, of course, likely calls to mind memories of swift-flying arrows and the local aboriginal folk who massacred your grand-pappy and his 17 young ‘uns back in ’39. But what makes the so-called “elites” of California and the East Coast so terrifying that you people can’t seem to stop fretting over them?
While the source remains a mystery, Angryclown has no doubt that the fear is deep-seated. You heartland boobs will sign onto just about any damn fool idea, as long as you think think you’re blindly following local elites instead of your true west- and east-coast overlords.
Angryclown can sypathize, I suppose. Bet you get tired of hearing “eight o’clock, seven central” – the entire midwest an afterthought – while your betters in New York and L.A. sip delicious white wine and latte cocktails, taking for granted the privilege of watching “Wife Swap” after sundown.
You would hate it here in the big city, Lileks. Filled as it is with elites and pointy objects – from the architecture to the pert bosoms of our beautiful young women. (In contrast, during Angryclown’s most recent stay in St. Paul, one of the well-rounded, non-elitist local lovelies was heard to exclaim, “More bacon? YAH!”)
In truth, very few people are suffieciently talented, educated and pointy to thrive in places like New York and Los Angeles. That’s why God made North Dakota and Minnesota.
June 27th, 2008 at 8:48 am
Thank you Mitch. The truth will set you free.
June 27th, 2008 at 9:46 am
Mitch has released angryclown’s wisdom from comment purgatory, surely on par with Nelson Mandela being released from prison. In this instance, however, the product was more emetic than prophetic. Oh well, sometimes you have to let the pony out so you can clean the stable.
June 27th, 2008 at 10:20 am
In truth, very few people are suffieciently talented, educated and pointy to thrive in places like New York and Los Angeles.
I’m being compared with Ivanna Trump and Paris Hilton, and found wanting?
Oh my stars.
June 27th, 2008 at 10:25 am
The first draft was better . Brevity Clownie, brevity.
June 27th, 2008 at 10:36 am
You’re right, of course, Kermit. Angryclown was having too much fun the second time. The urge to revise and extend one’s remarks is one that should be yielded to very rarely.
June 27th, 2008 at 11:36 am
The pointyness, of course, likely calls to mind memories of swift-flying arrows and the local aboriginal folk who massacred your grand-pappy and his 17 young ‘uns back in ‘39.
Actually, AC, the massacres went the other way. You can’t ‘settle’ anywhere until you’ve evicted the current occupants.
June 27th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Spoken like someone whose knowledge comes from a single viewing of “Dances With Wolves.” While you’re correct that, in the main, the battles were won by the steam-powered white civilization, there were quite a few instances of mayhem and rapine on both sides before the issue of who gets to “settle” the continent was put to rest.
Think of it this way. While the Twins won’t win the World Series, that doesn’t mean they won’t hand the odd bitch-slapping to some other hapless club over the course of the summer.
June 27th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
hand the odd bitch-slapping to some other hapless club
Speaking of which…
(checks schedule)
…nope. Two series yet against the Yanx, but the Mets aren’t coming to town.
OK, some other other hapless club.
June 27th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
True. The Twins have won 9 in a row. A half game back of the Whities and coming on. Damn, if only we still had Santana.
Say, how about them Mets? Oh, the 3rd place 3.5 games back Mets. Never mind, you still have the Yankees. Oops! The 3rd place Yankees are 5.5 games back.
Superiorer to us Midwesterners in every way, by cracky!
June 27th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Don’t forget, Kerm, you are talking to the most intelligent commenter on Mitch’s blog. Angryclown recognizes that the Mets suck more than Monica Lewinsky’s vacuum cleaner. But Santana’s not the problem. If you had four more of him, we’d be more than happy to take ’em off your hands.
The Mets, like the Twinkies, are fortunate to play in weak divisions. Both teams have a shot, but I wouldn’t bet on either one.
June 29th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
angryclown said:
“you are talking to the most intelligent commenter on Mitch’s blog”
Another example of “repeating something will make it true”? 😉