To: Arby’s Restaurants
From: Mitch Berg, rare customer
Re: Bad Mood

Dear Arby’s,

I don’t go to Arby’s much.  While you have the odd good item on  your menu – potato cakes are proof God not only exists but loves us – your restaurants are not usually the kind of place I go out of my way to get to.

But to the extent that it ever was, you’re rapidly blowing it with your current ad campaign, featuring “RB”, the annoying slacker who tags every spot by singing “It’s Good Mood Food”

It’s one of those notable ad campaigns that started bad – the line “we all look the same way nude” was not something I’d like to associate with fast food, ever – and got worse (the tortoise congo line and the “angry bank robber” bits)…

….reaching their nauseating nadir, the “Fisherman” spots. Which start out less obnoxiously (and more predictably) than most of the “RB” spots, it’s true – but that just lulls us into a false sense of hope.  The spots end with “RB” singing “I’m on boat…”, through autotune.

Annoying? No.  Justification for a rogue Iranian submariner declaring a unilateral campaign of no-quarter destruction against fishing craft? Yes.

That is all.