Answers To Stupid Questions From A Few Of My Dimmer Readers
By Mitch Berg
As a general rule, readers of Shot In The Dark are a cut above the average media reader; smarter, more discerning, more literate.
But I have a few readers – mostly fairly clearly left-of-center – who, let’s be frank, are dumber than plant life.
But stupid people are people too, more or less. So I’m going to answer some of the idiotic questions I get from some of these gabbling bobbleheads.
I got this one from Professor Dudley Doltt, a U of M staffer, in re my reporting on “Draw The Line MN”‘s duplicity and non-transparency; “Why are you afraid of a fair redistricting done by “courts” @mitchpberg?” Professor Doltt: Where did I mention anything about the “courts?” Or are you under the impression “Draw The Line” is a court? I was criticizing Draw the LIne and the media. Do try to read more carefully. Also, do try to read.
I got this next one from Doctor Duh Doy Duhhhhhh Durrr Freaking Duhhhh, another U of M lab assistant: “are you whining about redistricting because you believe gerrymandering is one of the spoils of war?” You might notice I accused the DFL of gerrymandering. It’s a rather key distinction. Not that you’re smart enough to get it.
I got this one from former regular comment-section-waxy-buildup “Tom In St. Paul”: “Aren’t yu realy Joe Doakes from Como Park? You say he exists but he does not. I thenk you are teh lier!”. Riiiight, Tom in Saint Paul. Because I’m so reticent about expressing my opinion normally I’d have to make up a completely different identity to do even more of it.
Finally, there’s the question from John Thompson, a filth refinisher from Richfield. “Aren’t you just a Rethuglikkkkkkkkkon moran?” Attention, pieces of intellectual compost; it’s “moron”. Just like mom always spelled it.
Nonetheless, I value all my readers – including the stupid, incurious, addled and depraved among them!





November 2nd, 2011 at 10:35 am
Next someone will claim I’m not really Earsall Mackbee.
November 2nd, 2011 at 12:19 pm
People may doubt that Blunt Force Trauma exists, but nobody wants to experience Blunt Force Trauma.
November 2nd, 2011 at 12:30 pm
Blunt Force Trauma on November 2, 2011 at 12:19 pm said:
People may doubt that Blunt Force Trauma exists, but nobody wants to experience Blunt Force Trauma.
Looks like we just did.
November 2nd, 2011 at 4:03 pm
People may doubt that Kermit exists, but nobody wants to experience Blunt Force Trauma.