Answers To Stupid Questions From A Few Of My Dimmer Readers

By Mitch Berg

As a general rule, readers of Shot In The Dark are a cut above the average media reader; smarter, more discerning, more literate.

But I have a few readers – mostly fairly clearly left-of-center – who, let’s be frank, are dumber than plant life.

But stupid people are people too, more or less.  So I’m going to answer some of the idiotic questions I get from some of these gabbling bobbleheads.

I got this one from Professor Dudley Doltt, a U of M staffer, in re my reporting on “Draw The Line MN”‘s duplicity and non-transparency;  “Why are you afraid of a fair redistricting done by “courts” @mitchpberg?”  Professor Doltt:  Where did I mention anything about the “courts?”  Or are you under the impression “Draw The Line” is a court?  I was criticizing Draw the LIne and the media.  Do try to read more carefully.  Also, do try to read.

I got this next one from Doctor Duh Doy Duhhhhhh Durrr Freaking Duhhhh, another U of M lab assistant: “are you whining about redistricting because you believe gerrymandering is one of the spoils of war?”  You might notice I accused the DFL of gerrymandering.  It’s a rather key distinction.  Not that you’re smart enough to get it.

I got this one from former regular comment-section-waxy-buildup “Tom In St. Paul”:  “Aren’t yu realy Joe Doakes from Como Park? You say he exists but he does not. I thenk you are teh lier!”.  Riiiight, Tom in Saint Paul.  Because I’m so reticent about expressing my opinion normally I’d have to make up a completely different identity to do even more of it.

Finally, there’s the question from John Thompson, a filth refinisher from Richfield.  “Aren’t you just a Rethuglikkkkkkkkkon moran?”  Attention, pieces of intellectual compost; it’s “moron”. Just like mom always spelled it.

Nonetheless, I value all my readers – including the stupid, incurious, addled and depraved among them!

4 Responses to “Answers To Stupid Questions From A Few Of My Dimmer Readers”

  1. Earsall Mackbee Says:

    Next someone will claim I’m not really Earsall Mackbee.

  2. Blunt Force Trauma Says:

    People may doubt that Blunt Force Trauma exists, but nobody wants to experience Blunt Force Trauma.

  3. Mr. D Says:

    Blunt Force Trauma on November 2, 2011 at 12:19 pm said:

    People may doubt that Blunt Force Trauma exists, but nobody wants to experience Blunt Force Trauma.

    Looks like we just did.

  4. Kermit Says:

    People may doubt that Kermit exists, but nobody wants to experience Blunt Force Trauma.

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