Shot in the Dark

Congratulations, Governor Dayton: Part II

OK.  You’ve been sworn in.

Now, let’s get down to business.

You and your supporters – the unions and your family – ran a shameful, slimy campaign.  And had you not outspent Tom Emmer and the GOP by about 3:1 – using family money, and money expropriated from union dues-payers – and had the media not (I firmly believe) exploited the “Bandwagon Effect” using polling that was either fatally but conveniently flawed or (part of me believes) rigged, you would have come up well more than 10,000 votes shy of where you ended up.

But OK, politics ain’t beanbag, and that’s truly life in politics.  And now you’re governor.

Let me tell you where I, a mere non-plutocrat schlemiel citizen, stand today.

I believe you are a perfectly fine human being – but I don’t like your platform (to the extent you had one; I pretty well eviscerated it during the campaign). I don’t like what your party stands for.  I don’t like what your supporters want to expropriate from me, and I don’t like how your willing sycophants in the media are going to try to snow-job Minnesotans into demanding the Legislature allow it.

And while I’m just a single guy, a schlemiel with a blog, I’m going to fight that snow job, and I’m going to fight your platform, and I’m going to fight everything you stand for – your tax policies, your healthcare policies, your regulatory policies, all of it.  I will do whatever I can to stymie you.  If any member of the GOP majority in both houses flags in his or her drive to beat your agenda back,  they will hear from me, and from anyone I can get into joining me – and as we saw last November, I’m hardly alone.

I will do whatever I can to make them stiffen their backbones.  We sent them to St. Paul.  We can send them home.

Because even though 42% of my neighbors fell for your odious campaign, we – The People – must not flag or fail. I – we – will fight you throughout your entire term, we’ll fight you on Capitol Hill, we’ll fight you in the shop floor and by the water cooler, we’ll fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the alternative media, we shall defend our lives and lifelihoods, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight you on all 10,000 lakes, we  shall fight you in the colleges, we shall fight you and your agenda in the City Council meetings and at the caucuses and in the streets and in the op-ed pages; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, you make it to the end of this term without turning power over to Lt. Governor Prettner Solon, then our silent, browbeaten majority, motivated and guided by the groundswell that will drive Obama from office in two years and nauseated by the arrogance of the DFL and its union and bureaucrat and media minions, will carry on the battle until,  in God’s good time, the Tea Party and all the other courses of conservative discontent, with all their silent but implacable power and might, step forth and get you voted out of office in 2014. [1]

My goal is not to negotiate or compromise with you, Governor Dayton.  My goal is to stop you.

[1] Paragraph nine is in fact lifted, lock stock and barrel, from one of Winston Churchill’s greatest speeches.  Some sentiments can never be better expressed, so why bother trying?


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24 responses to “Congratulations, Governor Dayton: Part II”

  1. swiftee Avatar
    swiftee

    My goal is to stop you.

    Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?

    To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

  2. Kermit Avatar
    Kermit

    Mitch claims I believe you are a perfectly fine human being
    I want to see some empirical evidence to substantiate this belief.

  3. swiftee Avatar
    swiftee

    Kermit Says:

    FACTCHECK!

  4. Mitch Berg Avatar
    Mitch Berg

    hear the lamentation of their women

    You wanna hear those women “lamenting?”

    Sorry. Crushing the agenda will be just fine by me.

  5. swiftee Avatar
    swiftee

    You wanna hear those women “lamenting?”

    Why do I suddenly have a picture of Feckless Jeffy in my head?

  6. Badda Avatar

    How about this, Mitch:

    “To crush your enemies’ agenda, see them driven out of office, and to see (but not hear) the lamentation of their women.”

  7. Kermit Avatar
    Kermit

    I have this nasty image of John Marty and Big MAK spooning. You can hardly see Marty.

  8. Bill C Avatar
    Bill C

    Heh, as I was reading it, the Dunkirk bit sorta reminded me of a less high-brow speech:

    Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. “Mankind.” That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!

    Maybe Roland Emmerich was thinking along those lines as well.

  9. Bill C Avatar
    Bill C

    Kermit, thanks. Some things cannot be unseen.

  10. Kermit Avatar
    Kermit

    Sorry Bill.

  11. Dave Thul Avatar

    MPP headline tomorrow-local GOP bloggers hope Dayton fails.

    Interestingly enough, I have much less trepidation in hoping that our new governor fails miserably in his time in office. Keeping in mind that both the governor and president are my commander in chief and I will always respect the rank even if not the man, there is a huge difference in a governor and a president failing.

    If a president fails in his agenda, he is less influential, carries less power, and that means the country as a whole is weaker. I don’t want President Obama to succeed in moving our country towards socialism, but I don’t want him to be an utter failure either. A weak president will be seen as a weak country, and our enemies are motivated to attack us when we show weakness.

    A governor, on the other hand, has little impact on foreign affairs, and his failure will mean almost nothing for national security or our image around the country (after Ventura and Franken our image is toast already). Given our new governor’s stated goals of class warfare, socialized medicine, and vassal-like obedience to public employee unions, I am quite comfortable with hoping his agenda fails miserably.

    Sir.

  12. Ben Avatar
    Ben

    Berg for Governor 2014! I kid, but seriously would you ever consider a run for any office Mitch?

  13. Kermit Avatar
    Kermit

    Dave, Brave Sir Mark is predestined to fail. There isn’t even a benchmark for his inevitable failure. The man means nothing, believes in nothing and represents nothing. In 40+ years I have never seen a suit so empty as Mark Dayton.
    A governor’s job is to lead. Mark Dayton couldn’t find his own ass with two hands and rudimentary instructions.

  14. DiscordianStooj Avatar

    I have this nasty image of John Marty and Big MAK spooning. You can hardly see Marty.

    I get it, it’s a fat joke! hahahahahahahah

  15. Kermit Avatar
    Kermit

    Nothing escapes Disco Stoo. That’s what we call a keen grasp of the obvious.

  16. swiftee Avatar
    swiftee

    Kerm, you have to remember stool is a MPD copper. To amuse him, there has to be an American indian involved…and a taser, or maybe a car trunk.

  17. Kermit Avatar
    Kermit

    And donuts?

  18. swiftee Avatar
    swiftee

    Free doughnuts, Kerm…free dough nuts.

  19. DiscordianStooj Avatar

    Doughnut … cop … this is comedy gold! Let’s pitch it to ABC!

  20. Mitch Berg Avatar
    Mitch Berg

    would you ever consider a run for any office Mitch?

    Nope. After nine years of blogging, I have enough printed material to provide an army of oppo researchers enough material to kill off a charging rhino. It’s hard for talk show hosts to get elected. Very very hard.

    And I’d have to give up the show.

    Honestly, I think I make a better pundit than a politician.

  21. Kevin Avatar

    Heh, King made the leap….and survived with his punditry intact.

  22. Kermit Avatar
    Kermit

    King is a lot shorter than Berg. Just sayin…

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