Paging John Cleese
By Mitch Berg
This story reads like a Fawlty Towers scene; a mother in Britain books a birthday surprise for her son during the school day. She thought she’d booked a guy in a gorilla suit.
It’s here the Fawlty script kicks in:
The Daily Mail said the teenager’s mother had told the teacher beforehand that a “birthday surprise” would walk in during the class and requested that it be filmed.
It’d be here that Basil Fawlty would give the order to Manuel the waiter – and the hijinx would kick in:
Instead of a gorilla, an adult performer showed up at Arnold High School in Nottingham dressed as a policewoman and spanked the boy 16 times in front of his classmates, the newspaper said.
She stripped to her underwear while dancing to a Britney Spears song and asked the teenager to rub cream all over her body before the “stunned” teacher called an end to the act.
“He’s from Barcelona…”
“The teacher suddenly announced: ‘Something is about to happen’,” the student said.
“Then a woman in a very short skirt walked in dressed as a copper. She asked the lad to stand up, which he did, and told him he had been a very naughty boy because he hadn’t been doing his homework.”
The performer put on some music and had the teenager put a collar on her.
“No one could believe it,” the student said.
“Next she ordered him to get on all fours, led him around the classroom and hit him 16 times -one for each year – on the bottom with her whip.”
The newspaper quoted the student as saying that it was wehen the stripper pulled some cream out of her bag that the teacher took action.
“To be fair to the teacher, you could tell she was just stunned, and when the cream came out she told the stripper: ‘That’s it. That’s enough’.”
Of course, it’s not all laughs…
The student said the birthday boy ran out of the classroom while the stripper packed her bag.
I’m hoping Cleese buys the film rights…
