Linguistic Hit List, Volume IV

As part of my continuing mission to make the English language suck less, I’m going to continue my quest to have certain words and phrases dragged out behind the outhouse and shot in the face.


  1. “Political Kabuki” – May anyone that uses this phrase for any non-ironic reason (and most ironic ones, frankly) be forced to commit political seppuku.
  2. Fo Shizzle – while it was passé for white guys to add “izzle” to words a la Snoop Dogg even before Mr. Dogg started the trend, I think we now have ample reason to take anyone who carries on the tradition and make them a pizzle. And I’m not talking Snoop-talk.
  3. “Brah” – This is the white-trash variant on “Bro”. It happens because the vowel “ah” takes less muscular effort in the face than the more-conventional “o” sound in “Bro”. Its recent popularity shows that Orwell was right; decades of lowest-common-denominator education have begun turning our language into “Duckspeak”, an unintelligible brand of gibberish. Anyway – for the sake of freedom, to say nothing of the language – say “Bro”, or just keep your gabbling gob shut.
  4. “Developing” in reference to a “story” on a blog – you are not a news operation, and the story is not “developing”; you just ran out of stuff to write about, and you’re not very bright to begin with.

That is all.

UPDATE: Ed from Eagan writes to note “[Brah] is Hawaiian, FYI. It’s not a white-trash variant on Bro, although it may seem that way when you watch Dog the Bounty Hunter. ;-)”

Very well. Say “Brah” until the poi get submerged in pohoehoe. IN Hawaii. You can hang out at the drop-in counseling center bail bond shop with Dog the Bounty Hunter and say it all day! Just not here on the mainland.


9 thoughts on “Linguistic Hit List, Volume IV

  1. We’ve had quite a bit of rhetorical kabuki over at Anti-Strib lately. Liberals in greasepaint are disturbing. Especially when they drive those funny little cars a threaten you with seltzer bottles.

  2. “Brah” makes sense because in pidgin its short for “bradah”. The weirdest pidgin construction I’ve heard here is “go stop”, as in “my cah never go stop, brah”, as a description of a reliable automobile.

  3. I’m not all that keen on ‘Bro’ either, but it does make me laugh (reminds me of a Seinfeld episode).

  4. I’m rather surprised you didn’t know ‘Brah’ originated in Hawaii. Maybe we’re both just no longer in touch with our ‘younger self’ no more, brah.

  5. Yeah, Garrison Keillor must have an amusing story about uptight Minnesota Lutherans with funny Scandanavian names traveling to Hawaii and the cultural clashes that ensue. OR 7 FRIKKEN HUNDRED.

  6. I’m rather surprised you didn’t know ‘Brah’ originated in Hawaii. Maybe we’re both just no longer in touch with our ‘younger self’ no more, brah.

    Fo shizzle, homes.


    Word up, Gee-izzle.

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