I wonder sometimes:  If a group of diabolically-weird behavioral scientists were to build an entire universe around a test subject in which the reality we experience is altered in some key ways, a la The Truman Show – say, a red sky, gravity pulls sideways, the sun rises in the north, the Twins are having a good season – what would happen if the subject of that test were to suddenly (a la Truman) escape from that experimental world, and experience life out here with the rest of us?

Would they adapt?  Or would the fundamental change in everything they saw, felt, pre-supposed and believed so disorient them that they’d find it impossible to carry on, and wither and die like a spider kept in a jar?

Along those lines, I also sometimes wonder:  If the DFL stopped issueing talking points, could Lori Sturdevant adapt to the non-talking-point reality?  Or would she flash out of existence?

Sunday’s column makes me want to bet the “under”:

The media bigs tell Minnesotans regularly that U.S. Sen. Norm Coleman’s reelection bid is in trouble because he has mostly supported President Bush’s policies in Iraq.

Ah.  “Media Bigs” say so. 

It must be true!

I read this next bit, and picture Sturdevant, standing, looking as eager as a sophomore hoping the dreamboat senior class football star will ask her to prom, silently chanting “he’s GOT to ask me…he’s GOT to ask me…he’s GOT to ask me…“:

Maybe so. But for my $11 price of admission, the best measure of Minnesota political reality can be had at the State Fair. On Thursday, I listened as Coleman fielded questions about bridges, ethanol, bridges, transit, bridges, floods, Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, the federal deficit, and — did I mention bridges?

“I want to tell you just one thing,” said a stern-faced Ray Martin of Stillwater when he caught up with his senator in the middle of Underwood Avenue.

If Coleman braced himself for a barrage on Iraq, he needn’t have.

“he’s GOT to ask me…he’s GOT to ask me…he’s GOT to ask me…“: 

 [Coleman’s questioners] may not have walked away satisfied [although Sturdevant gives us no reason to assume either way – ed]. But my guess is that the senator did. They’d just provided him with more of the evidence he’d been collecting at the fair that Minnesotans’ minds are on matters Republicans seeking reelection find congenial — that is, matters other than Iraq.

“he’s GOT to ask me…he’s GOT to ask me…he’s GOT to ask me…“.

Alternate possibility:  Minnesotans, like Americans, are starting to realize that Iraq might be doable.  Maybe not instantly, maybe not ending in a surrender ceremony on the deck of a battleship built by a nation organized into the greatest manifestation of the New Deal experiment, but – in the way of all counterinsurgencies that aren’t resolved by killing all the locals and scorching the earth – eventually, and with subtle signs of improvement to go along with the declining costs.

Minnesotans (I will speculate) aren’t worried about Iraq because, for the first time since the contractors mutiliated bodies were pulled from that bridge in Fallujah, it’s starting to seem like the US is getting into control of the situation.  And when I say “Minnesotans”, I mean “people who live outside newsrooms and DFL covens like Merriam Park and Kenwood”.

“he’s GOT to ask me…he’s GOT to ask me…if he doesn’t, it’s because he’s busy, or he’s got a lot on his mind…he’s GOT to ask me…”

That includes the calamities Minnesotans will forever associate with August 2007, the Interstate 35W bridge collapse and the flash floods in southeastern Minnesota. The federal response to both of those disasters is getting mostly high marks — and for that, Coleman can take a bow…He turned the president’s attention to the needs of flood-ravaged Minnesota towns when, serendipitously, Bush came to the state two days after the flood to raise money for Coleman. Coleman’s pleas, and those of GOP Gov. Tim Pawlenty, cut through the red tape associated with federal disaster declarations and got FEMA and the Small Business Administration on the ground with a speed that has to astound survivors of Hurricane Katrina.

Grooooaaaaan.

That’s right, Lori.  Never mind that the disasters are of orders of magnitude different scales, and that unlike Louisiana Democrat Governor Kathleen Blanco and NoLA Democrat mayor Ray Nagin, local officials were both competent and less interested in securing political cover. 

Ms. Sturdevant must have gone into journalism because she flunked math.

“he’s GOT to ask me…he’s GOT to ask me…he knows it’s TRUE LOVE, as much as I do!…he’s GOT to ask me…”

I add emphasis below:

…Coleman may have been spared barbs about Iraq because, as he claimed, “most Minnesotans support my position that we simply can’t cut off funding for the war” and abruptly withdraw troops. On the other hand, the State Fair chapter of Minnesota Nice may have precluded the kind of conversation — or confrontation — the topic begets.

“he’s GOT to ask me…he’s GOT to ask me…if he doesn’t…” …then blame it on a bit of facile folk-pop psychology.

One thing’s for sure; when it’s time to measure Minnesota’s cultural barometer, you can count on Lori Sturdevant to check the wind gauge:

Fairgoers weren’t shy about mentioning the war down Underwood Avenue a piece [“a piece”.  Oh, good lord.  ed.], where DFL challengers Mike Ciresi and Al Franken had set up shop.

 To be fair, fairgoers at the Franken booth “weren’t shy” about issueing dangling Halliburton references or theorizing that the World Trade Center fell to a controlled demolition, either.

But while Sturdevant is tone-deaf to culture outside of her native habitat, she is a master of Socialist Realist flakkery, issuing a pealing paeon to those the Talking Points anoint:

If ribbons were awarded for crowd-drawing capacity by politicians, Franken would take purple. Every time the former “Saturday Night Live” comedian, author and radio talker showed up — which happened daily, for long hours — a queue formed for photos and autographs. Old political hands likened his appeal to that of 1998 fair phenom Jesse Ventura — a portentous comparison.

Less “portentous” than strained.  Ventura took in – as in, “bamboozled” – a little over a third of the electorate with a mixture of faux-populist bluster and a veneer of libertarianism (that he tossed aside like a Mustang Ranch souvenir mug when he got into office), which he sold to a credulous state at a time when people took elections as seriously as they take American Idol. Franken’s demographic – autodramatic middle-aged granola crones, gaunt state workers with anal-retentive gray beards, fashionably-downmarket-looking Hamline students – are comparable to Ventura’s masses only by the triteness of their understanding of the issues.

Those words undoubtedly buoyed his spirits that evening as he boarded an airplane bound for Baghdad. Minnesotans may have given him a pass on the war at the State Fair — but he has to wonder whether it was only a respite, as fleeting as the fair itself.

“he’s GOT to ask me…he’s GOT to ask me…if not today, then tomorrow!…he’s GOT to ask me…”

This entry was posted by by Mitch Berg on Tuesday, September 4th, 2007 at 4:04 am and is filed under Campaign '08, Democrat Party, Media. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.