Science At Work
By Mitch Berg
Science is joining forces to analyze…
Ozzy Osbourne’s genome will be sequenced, in hopes that scientists can figure out how the notoriously self-destructive rocker is still alive.
“Sequencing and analyzing individuals with extreme medical histories provides the greatest potential scientific value,” Nathan Pearson, director of research at Knome, a leading gene-sequencing company, told the U.K. newspaper the Daily Mail.
Although the 61-year-old Osbourne has been sober for eight years, he spent the bulk of his life consuming legendary amounts of alcohol and hard drugs, as well as engaging in other high-risk activities.
Perhaps next “Knome” can analyze the genomes of people who thought Black Sabbath didn’t suck.
June 17th, 2010 at 7:33 am
“…analyze the genomes of people who thought Black Sabbath didn’t suck.”
Funny you should say that…
June 17th, 2010 at 7:47 am
Perhaps next “Knome” can analyze the genomes of people who thought Black Sabbath didn’t suck.,
That’s on their list, after they finish their research on the genomes of Uriah Heep fans.
June 17th, 2010 at 8:40 am
Kieth Richards is a much better subject.
June 17th, 2010 at 8:43 am
Perhaps next “Knome” can analyze the genomes of people who thought Black Sabbath didn’t suck.
That’s some mighty tall talk from a guy that gets all misty for Bruce Springsteen, Mitch…just sayin’.
June 17th, 2010 at 8:52 am
Black Sabbath did not suck. They were masters of a niche. Just because they never covered Pink Caddilac… (Although that would have been awesome)
June 17th, 2010 at 9:04 am
What if they find out he actually died 10+ years ago and has been a zombie ever since?
June 17th, 2010 at 9:58 am
If they do find out Ozzie is a zombie, they’re gonna find out Keith Richards is a mummy…. seriously, look at the old Boris Karloff stills from ‘the Mummy’ and then look at Keith Richards and tell me you don’t see a resemblence, with all those wrinkles.
June 17th, 2010 at 11:41 am
I saw some posts in the feed from the kid(s). You just have to love them, don’t you.
June 17th, 2010 at 12:28 pm
Any way you cut it Ozzie is a walking corpse.
June 17th, 2010 at 5:03 pm
Predictions of Keef’s imminent demise date to at least 1971. I feel confident in predicting that that starry old veck will see all of us off.
June 18th, 2010 at 12:14 am
My favorite line of the story
“as well as engaging in other high-risk activities.”
interesting. Also to quote Ron White “Only the good die young but pricks live FOREVER”. How else can you explain him still alive and Joey Ramone, Bob Marley, Jimi Hendix, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley and probably some others I can’t think of off the top of my head all dead WAYYY before their time.