It didn’t take a rocket scientist to predict Lori “Unofficial DFL PR Flak” Sturdevant’s Sunday column; it was a gauzy, florid paeon to Margaret Anderson-Kelliher.
I come not to bury Sturdevant’s column – which was a howler…:
Before the balloting started, [Former state auditor, governor candidate, endorsed Lieutenant-Governor 2006 candidate, and former fair-weather Republican Judi] Dutcher and [former state Senator and two-time goober candidate Becky] Lourey, both now private citizens, predicted that this year would be different — not because it was finally a woman’s turn, but because of Kelliher’s other qualities.
“Margaret is such a candidate in her own right. She is so qualified for this job,” Dutcher exuded.
Lourey added: “There’s an energy here to endorse the person who can win in the general election. That’s Margaret, because of her communication skills.” Not her gender.
…and I certainly don’t come to praise this vapid group hug:
…A ripple of feminist pride added emotional punch to her victory celebration, revved up by Kelliher’s call, “DFLers, are you ready to make history?”
But there was no sense at the Duluth Entertainment Convention Center that an upstart girl had defeated the good ol’ boys….
Noooooo! Not a bit!…
She won’t be another guy in a gray suit. She’ll stand out, and compel voters to take a closer look.
Former Secretary of State Joan Growe…said Kelliher’s bid to make history should bring her primary and general election support from “Republican women, or former Republican women, and independents…Older women particularly might be drawn to the chance to elect the state’s first female governor… 79-year-old St. Paul delegate Joan Wittman confessed, “It would be a dream to me to elect a woman governor. I’d like to see it in my lifetime.”
The scary part was, though, that I pretty much wrote Sturdevant’s column in my head on Saturday night after I got the word of Kelliher’s nomination.
I could have practically published the whole thing, thought for thought if not word for word!
I knew, after decades of reading Sturdevant’s bald-faced mash notes to the DFL, that there’d be some combination of…:
- She’s an old pro!
- But yet a new voice!
- And an impromptu conclave of strong yet approachable women are spritzing her with concentrated Sisterhood! Yay! Sisters are doing it for themselves!
- In the meantime, the tough woman is going to be facing The Man In The Gray Suit!
And it occurs to me; why not save Sturdevant, the environment, and the body politic the trouble for next weekend, after the GOP endorses its’ guy in a gray suit candidate?
Because I think we’re all familiar enough with Lori Sturdevant’s list of cliches – the gauzy soft focus, Up With People vibe for Democrats, the rote invocations of Republicans past (who happened to vote, spend and act like DFLers), the victorian vapours at the idea that conservatism is making inroads in “her” state – to take the next big step.
I want y’all to write Lori Sturdevant’s next Sunday column.
We know it’ll be a wrapup of the GOP convention; she’ll be beholding the new GOP Gubernatorial nominee the way a new father beholds his baby’s first diaper. Write the column, or some portion of it, in the comment section. I’ll be moving this post up through the week to make sure everyone can enter.
Winners will be announced Saturday night. The prize? I will publish the “winning” Sturdevant column before the Strib does, so the winner gets bragging rights, and an eternal place of honor on my Contests page.
Would you want more than that for this kind of prize?
And by all means, reprint this challenge in your blog, Facebook page, Twitter feed, the Dewdrop Inn, or wherever – and forward any entries you get.