Archive for May, 2017

June Smith

Monday, May 1st, 2017

Over the weekend, I heard about the passing of June Smith.

You’ve heard about her in this space before; she was the wife of Dick Smith, my college choir director, about whose passing I wrote six years ago.

Image may contain: 2 people, people standing, tree, grass and outdoor

The Smiths, probably ten years ago. Photo lifted from a social media posting about June. I’ll ask the photographer’s forgiveness.

And while I spent less time with Mrs. Smith, she was just as important a figure in my life as her husband was.  And I don’t suispect I was the only one.


Junior high was a miserable time.   I suspect it is for pretty much everyone that’s not an early bloomer – and I was certainly not that.

The worst part?  Most of the things that had let me coast through elementary school – a way with words, a moderate facility with and enjoyment of wriring – had been turned into penal drudgery by years of needing to learn the right way to do it.  I’d always loved writing – but between seventh and tenth grade, the only “writing” that happened was slogging through grammar, diagramming sentences, beating rules into our heads that I, honestly, didn’t know, but practiced just fine.

And then, in 11th grade, I finally got to take “Creative Writing”, with Mrs. Smith – a longtime English department colleague of my dad’s at the high school.

I came very close to writing “And suddenly, writing was fun again!”.

It was.  But to leave it there would leave out half of the story.   Because – l like her husband did with music – she taught us how good writing could be with a little bit of discipline.

And she did it with one enduring concept:  Engfish.

She described it as “English that is so full of soggy, rotten, cliched, pompous, pretentious dead weight that it stinks like a dead, rotting fish”.    Her stated mission was to teach us how to write without Engfish.

Her class included some writing exercises I still remember.  When our essays included any cliches, redundancy or pomposity, they’d come back marked with a penciled in fish, with “x” eyes and little vapor lines radiating upward.  That was the Engfish sign; you’d written something that stank, and needed to rewrite it.

The real acid test?  We’d turn in an essay; when she hit a phrase that made her lose internest – a big of Engfish, a soggy parenthetical, a diversion from the thesis – she drew a line at that point and stopped reading.  She’d had it back to us to rewrite, as many times as it took for her to get through the essay with no Engfish.    Getting an essay past her without getting it sent back was one of the highlights of my junior year.

And that – learning how to write tight, to-the-point English – made writing not just fun, but truly absorbing, something I finally felt like I was in command of.

I wasn’t, of course – it’d take my college writing prof, Dr. Blake (who also passed away in the past year and a half) and years of practice to get there, and truth be told I still work at it, hard, every day.  It’s half the reason I plug away on this blog every weekday.

But ever since Mrs. Smith’s class, I’ve genuinely enjoyed it.


Mrs. Smith taught a lot of good writers, including her daughter and my high school classmate Kathryn, who wrote this essay last week about caring for June this past few months, while she’s been ailing.

This?  Just my way of saying thanks.  All that teaching actually changed a kid’s life, and is still doing it.

Q: Why Is Minneapolis Police Chief Janae Harteau’s Head Always So Itchy?

Monday, May 1st, 2017

A:  Because Mayor Betsy Hodges gave her a case of Athlete’s Scalp, going over her head.  That’s why.

Participation Trophy: Protest Edition

Monday, May 1st, 2017

Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:

Students at Yale are on a hunger strike.  Except when they’re not.

This is the epitome of Liberalism in action: claiming the intention is as good as the deed and deserves just as much credit.

The Senate had a rule that any member may filibuster a bill and until the filibuster was ended (by the member or by a super-majority voting to end discussion on the bill), no other business could take place.  Jimmy Stewart talks for hours in the famous movie about a filibuster.

Except that’s hard work.  And we can’t get anything else done.  So the new method is members file a “notice of intent to filibuster” and that’s sufficient to take the bill out of consideration.  It’s simply tabled while the Senate moves on to other business.  More efficient, you see.  Better for members’ health.  Safer.

Yes, but the point of the filibuster was to actually halt the business of the Senate until they address one member’s objection.  If it’s a big enough deal that a member is willing to stand there all day solely to bring the business of government to a complete halt, then it’s a big enough deal to receive serious consideration by the rest of the members.

These students aren’t having a ‘hunger strike,’ they’ve filed a ‘notice of intent to strike’ believing the word is the same as the act and carries the same moral weight.  Can’t imagine where they got that idea.

Joe Doakes

It’s a logical extension of the way millennials have been raised to see life.

They got participation trophies for looking like they were playing basketball.

Why should “protest” be any different?

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