Simple truism of the American mainstream media; the faintest move to the left will be portrayed as a major tectonic change in American politics (while any drift to the right will be regarded as an anomaly or pathology).

One classic example; when Ed Schultz “went national” four years ago, he had six stations; Minneapolis, Fargo, and a bunch of small rural towns.  Joe Soucheray had a bigger network at that time.  And yet Schultz got a raving full-bore-hype showcase on the Today show, complete with Katie Couric cooing “is he the left’s answer to Rush Limbaugh?”.

Six stations.

Of course, that’s as nothing compared to the cacaphony any time any “traditionally Republican” group sheds any demographic dandruff.

Which brings us to this headline:  “Evangelicals Flee the GOP“.   That’d be pretty serious news, if were true…:

Michael Dudley is the son of a preacher man.

He’s a born-again Christian with two family members in the military. He grew up in the Bible Belt, where almost everyone he knew was Republican. But this fall, he’s breaking a handful of stereotypes: He plans to vote for Democrat Barack Obama.

“I think a lot of Christians are having trouble getting behind everything the Republicans stand for,” said Dudley, 20, a sophomore at Seattle Pacific University.

Dudley’s disenchantment with the GOP isn’t unique among young, devoutly Christian voters.

Er, I’m sure it’s not – inasmuch as the GOP does, always has, and always will poll weakest among “the young”; Churchill’s dictum (“a man who’s not a liberal at 20 has no heart; a man who’s not a conservative at 40 has no brain”) is as true now as ever.  Whether being “an evange
Still – could it be true?  Could young evangelicals be fleeling the GOP?

What is the nature of this catastrophic exodus? (I add emphasis):

According to a September 2007 survey by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life, 15 percent of white evangelicals between 18 and 29, a group traditionally a shoo-in for the GOP, say they no longer identify with the Republican Party.

“Traditionally a shoo-in?”

Since when?

If 15 percent of that group “don’t identify with the GOP” now?  Fine – what was that number in 2004?  2000?  1996?

We don’t know – because, I suspect, the answer would show what a non-story this is.

Or would, if it needed to – since, like most of those “[name your group] are deserting the GOP’ stories, further reading shows there’s really no there there.

But, Howard Dean, don’t count your chickens quite yet. College-age and 20-something Christians may be leaving the GOP, but only 5 percent of young evangelicals have joined the Democrats, according to the Pew survey. The other 10 percent are wandering the political wilderness, somewhere between “independent” and “unaffiliated.”

So in other words, out out of six evangelicals in an age group that society-wide traditionally doesn’t vote GOP, claim to be falling out with the party – and of them, only one in three is actually jumping to the Tics?

The real news would seem to be “Among Young Evanglicals, the GOP has a 17-1 (85%05%) Majority”. 

I mean, wouldn’t it?

I’m not someone who enjoys jumping on people for petty little errors. Accidentally restating a few of someone else’s words while talking off-the-cuff in the midst of a gruelling campaign? Flubbing the odd number? Bobbling the state you’re in in the midst of a long trip where you haven’t seen yiour own bed in days (Obama, Obama, Algore)? Truly, I get as impatient with that as I do with people who yammer for years about pronouncing “Nuclear” noo-cyu-lar. Who cares?

I’m even inclined to cut Al Franken some slack over his tax problems (at least, I was when I originally wrote this post; reading Michael’s post this morning, I’m less sure); having done business in more than one state, let me tell you; the tax code is a minefield. (However, while you’re granting slack, please also make you never, ever vote for Franken. Let’s not get crazy here).

Still, Patterico wonders about Obama:

However, the more I think about it, the more it seems like – for a moment – Obama may have believed there are 60 states. Here’s what he said:

“It is wonderful to be back in Oregon,” Obama said. “Over the last 15 months, we’ve traveled to every corner of the United States. I’ve now been in 57 states? I think one left to go. Alaska and Hawaii, I was not allowed to go to even though I really wanted to visit, but my staff would not justify it.”

Thus, Obama has been to “57 states.” He hasn’t been to Hawaii and Alaska – they aren’t big or important enough for any of the candidates to visit – so that’s 2 more states. And he has “one left to go” which makes 60.

It is to laugh.

If you live in the Second District – which includes a big chunk of southeastern Minnesota and the south/southeast metro areas – you are lucky.

Politically, anyway.  No, I have little desire to move to Eagan, and none for Lakeville.

But you have John Kline in the House.  He’s solid, He’s generally conservative.

And he’s safe.  Even the Democrats realize that Steve Sarvi isn’t much more than a warm body to put on the ballot; while he has lower negatives than the insane Colleen Rowley, I also suspect he’ll garner less fundraising from outside-the-district wackjobs.

Indeed, it seems to be an issue:

“Critics say Sarvi isn’t perceived as a threat in the race, with party officials targeting campaigns considered more competitive.

‘I haven’t seen any evidence that national Democrats are taking the race seriously — or on the local side,’ said Republican activist and blogger Michael Brodkorb.

Fundraising has been admittedly difficult so far, Sarvi said.

Let’s face it, CD2 Republicans; Kline’s seat is pretty well safe.  We needn’t be complacent, of course; y’all gotta work for the guy.  But barring some scandal favoring the Iraq veteran Sarvi – say, someone discovers that Kline’s bio is faked and that he didn’t actually win four Legions of Merit, his Naval Commendation Medal, a Meritorious Service Medal, a Joint Service Commendation Medal, and a Defense Superior Service Award, serve in Vietnam, serve as an aide to two Presidents and as pilot for Marine One, and have a son who has served as a chopper pilot in Iraq – y’all can most likely look forward to a couple more unchallenged years of good representation in Washington.

So when it comes time to do your political donations, how about peeling off a couple of bucks for where the party needs some help?

I’ve talked with both of the GOP’s “inner-city” candidates – CD5’s Barb Davis White and CD4’s Ed Matthews.  And while I’ve supported all of the GOP’s candidates in both of these offices, I don’t believe I’m disparaging any of them in saying that Barb and Ed are the best couple of candidates we’ve seen for these offices in a long time.  They’re both sharp, articulate, with that combination of solid conservative beliefs and keen understanding of their communities that it’ll take to many any inroads in their districts.

Because let’s face it; while this state has been flirting with being “purple” and on the ragged brink of voting “red” for a decade now, we’ll never really flip this state until we can make a contest of the Fourth and Fifth Districts.

And don’t forget the Republicans running down-ticket from the Congressional candidates!  We have a decent shot of taking back some of the House seats we lost in ’06, and flipping a few RINO seats to actual conservative control.  They need your help too.

If you’re a GOP activist and perennial volunteer, you’re probably used to – and tired of – hearing that every campaign is do or die, make or break, the big one.  Fact is, the only places where Republicans can relax are in places like Utah – where Republicans win everything – or Malibu, where we’ll never make a showing.

Everywhere else?  It’s a battle.  Every two years.

From the Iron Matron.

It was Tuesday, May 10, 1988.

The phone had gotten turned back on later the previous Friday. Wyatt, naturally, had not paid the phone bill. For that matter, he pled “I’m a little short this week” on the rent, too. “I’ll get it! I’ll get it!”, he eventually bellowed at Shane and me, as he walked out to meet Teresa. Or Michelle. Or Anne. Or someone.

No matter. My ticket out of this – I hoped – was waiting.

Around 9:30, I called the station in Orlando. I got the receptionist; she told me the program director was in a meeting.

“Could you tell him Mitch Berg called?”

“Oh, Mitch! Hi!”, she said, with the faint aroma of recognition, and maybe excitement, on the top. “I talked with Charles; he’s talking about wanting to bring you down for an interview”.

My heart skipped a couple of beats.

“I’ll have him call you”.

I thanked her, and camped by the phone, playing the guitar and drinking Mountain Dew, for two hours. Finally, just before his show was supposed to start, he called.

“Mitch!”

He definitely wanted to get me down to Orlando to talk.

“Tell you what – I’ve got a couple of days off coming up. Call me on Monday, and we’ll get things set up”.

I thanked him. And started sizing up my life to try to fit a future into it.

Not even Wyatt and his limp excuses could faze me today.

If you’d like to help out Ed Matthews – GOP-endorsed candidate for US House from the Fourth Congressional District – then by all means go to his website.

Today on the Northern Alliance Radio Network:

• Volume I “The First Team” – Chad, John and Brian will do the voodoo they do from 11-1.
• Volume II “The Headliner” – Ed – the real one, not the guy from the debate last week – is out on assignment, but should be back next week.  I will be on from 1-3; I’ll be interviewing Republican-endorsed candidate for the US House in the Fourth District, Ed Matthews against Betty McCollum.  We’ll also talk with Tom Effertz, who’s running against Bev Scalzi in District 54B. 
• Volume III, “The Final Word” – King and Michael are, at most recent report, doing a “Best Of” show today; King’s still loggy from the surgery, for one.  I’ll keep you posted.

So tune in to all six hours of the Northern Alliance Radio Network, the Twin Cities’ media’s sole guardians of sanity. On the air at AM1280 in the Metro, or streaming at AM1280’s Website, or via podcast at Townhall.

(Title h/t Curt)

And don’t forget the David Strom Show, with David Strom and Margaret Martin, from 9-11!

There is no joy in blogville.

Katie McCollow is signing off Yucky Salad with Bones.

Katie – the sister of both one of my homies from college and of the wife of my college’s basketball coach who is, herself, one of my favorite non-politics bloggers in town – is one of the funniest writers around; she’s either the Erma Bombeck of the David Letterman set, or vice versa.

Anyway.

Thanks for a great run, Katie.  And if you ever feel the need to just drop random posts on some blog without the hassle of doing your own, I know a blog run by a frazzled solo-blogger who’d love to have you on board, whenever you wanted to fire something off.

Just saying.

…but not surprised, to note that at least one person considers yours truly an “Everyday Hero”. 

Grace “The Pentagon Was Destroyed By A Cruise Missile” Kelly started the tradition, to give credit where it’s due. 

And today Ryan, mirabile dictu, lists me as an everyday hero. 

Thanks, Ryan.  I do my best.

Growing up in North Dakota, there was a palpable sense that you could still feel the panic of the Great Depression; some nooks and crannies in downtown Jamestown still had grit from the Dust Bowl tucked away into back corners. 

Tied to agriculture as it has always been, it’s always been a fairly conservative place (although the friction and turbulence of agriculture have also made it the hotbed of extremists of all types – it was the home of the leftist Grange movement in the 1890’s, as well as Bill Langer and the “Non-Partisan League” in the thirties; it was also a hotbed of the Deutsche-Amerikanische Bund in the thirties and the Posse Comitatus in the seventies and eightes.  But they were very much the outliers).  It’s voted Republican, if memory serves, in every election since statehood.  Even in the Democrat landslides; North Dakota (and its cheap copy, South Dakota) gives Utah and Nevada a run for their money. 

And that conservatism springs from a life that is by its very nature pretty conservative; Kathleen Norris, in her classic book Dakota:  A Spiritual Geography says that people who thrive in the Dakotas have an attitude not unlike that of monks – self-denying, humble-to-the-point-of-self-abasing, penurious, expecting very little. 

I had to get out of there.

But the place has its attractions.  One of them being just about the strongest economy in the nation, right about now:

 While almost a quarter-million California properties were involved last year, South Dakota had only 50 homes in foreclosure in 2007, a nearly imperceptible 0.007 percent of homes in the state, the New York Times reported. Nevada’s nation-leading rate was 3.4 percent, but North Dakota was below 0.1 percent, along with Maine, Vermont and New Hampshire.

…

Rick Clayburgh, president of the North Dakota Bankers Association in Bismarck, offered similar explanations for his state’s escaping the subprime fallout.

Farmers received record prices for a bumper wheat crop and other commodities. The Williston Basin oil patch is booming. The Canadian dollar’s strength against the U.S. dollar has fueled tourism.

“But nobody wants to live there…”

Well, duh, yeah, you Rhodes scholar you…:

“States like North Dakota and South Dakota are not exactly retirement destinations,” [Curt Everson of the SoDak Banker’s Association] said from his office in Pierre. “That’s what drove the housing boom in Nevada and some of those other places.

But still; the Dakotas have ridden out the last two recessions and the ongoing decay in the agriculture business (forget about ethanol; the Dakotas are dry and windy, which makes for lousy corn country) much better than the nation as a whole.  This is a departure from history (especially when I was growing up there), and a direct result of a very conservative style of government. 

Which makes sense, more or less.

(more…)

It’s official.

Today’s gear isn’t “hot” in the sense of “really really great”.  Indeed, in the great continuum of electronics, especially electronics available today, it’s a comical throwback.

But 20-odd years ago, it was the stuff of dreams.

Not long after I started playing guitar, I started having delusions of grandeur.  The delusions were not unlike the ones I got shortly after starting this blog, things like “getting back into talk radio…” – well, you get the picture.  My delusions back then centered around “being able to dub multiple instruments onto the same piece of tape, so I could make records without needing a whole band”.

Sort of like “Multi track tape” – reel to reel tapes with many “tracks”, each with its own record and play heads, so you could record and synch many instruments and vocal tracks – without having to spend what it took for a multi-track tape recorder back then.
Which was a lot.  A four-track recorder was usually well over $1,000; eight-tracks were pushing $2K, as  recall, and 16, 24 and more tracks were the province of recording studios that cost more than most houses I grew up around.

So money was an obstacle.  So was my own lack of technical ingenuity; my first attempt at recording more than one instrument involved playing a guitar track into a cassette recorder, then replaying it as I played along and recorded the whole thing onto another cassette recorder.  It worked, except that the first track was buried in playback noise from the first cassette player; by the third “track”, the background noise from the multiple layers of cassette players made the whole production sound like “guitars playing in a gale”.

In college, I experimented with “bouncing” tracks back and forth on a reel-to-reel player, which had two tracks (known to most stereo-listening laypeople as “left” and “right”.).  It worked, sort of – I got four instruments down, once – before the overlaid layers of track noise overwhelmed the instruments.

There had to be a better way.

And in 1984, it came along.

Now, there’d been cassette-based four-tracks since the early ’80s; Bruce Springsteen recorded his Nebraska album on the first of them, a Teac “Tascam” four-track cassette; the unit cost about $1,000, which was still a little lot too spendy for me.

But in ’84, along came the answer, the vehicle to my megalomaniac recording dreams:

The Fostex X15 was the first “inexpensive” ($400) cassette recorder.  It let you record on two tracks at a time, mix down four tracks into a stereo two track mix…

…and, since it had an internal monitor circuit, allowed you to record tracks to other tracks.  Which meant you could “bounce” mix two or three tracks onto one, to clear a track or two for more recording.  This was a common technique in high-end studios in the sixties, when the four-track reel-to-reel was high technology (Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band was recorded on four-track decks, although “decks” is plural).

And so in January of 1985, I sat down in the pump room at my college chapel with a drum kit, a 1916 Steinway, and my guitars and bass and a Farfisa organ I’d found under a stack of old programs, and started recording entire band arrangements of songs.

My pride and joy?  One song where I…:

1. laid down a metronome track
2. played the rhythm guitar part to guide the whole song
3. Laid down a drum track
4. Cut a bass track
5. Bounced the bass and drums over the metronome on track one
6. Played a big, broad piano part
7. Bouned the piano and rhytm guitar together
8. Played an organ part
9. Did a last with the vocals (with the lead guitar fitting in where I wasn’t singing).

I think I worked on it until 5 one morning.  And listened to it  the whole next day.  It sounded…

…cool.  LIke I could actually do this recording thing.

I went on to work wtih much bigger, better recording gear later on.  And of course, today you can record on your computer across dozens of tracks (with the aid of a decent sound card, at least) for a fraction of the price of an old reel to reel player.

But the Fostx made it all possible for me.

I still have it, somewhere…

Since the GOP nomination’s been wrapped up for almost three months, now, the question “Who’ll Mac pick for VP” has been gurgling about the place.

Governor Pawlenty, of course, has been a key contender for a long, long time; young, great approval, decent if not invincible record of success as governor and legislator, conservative enough to not spark a rebellion in the provinces, and he supported Mac when it wasn’t cool to be in the McCain camp.

But as Gary Miller at TvM notes in reversing his own prediction:

The problem is that the GOP has a a dearth of talent in both our gubernatorial and congressional ranks. I couldn’t help but read this Redstate roundtable on possible veep choices and feel discouraged — much like those who participated in the discussion.  The most likely choices all have significant electoral or ideological shortcomings…

Which takes out Sanford, I think, as well.  South is out in the GOP.

Miller:

My reptilian brain stem has been working on finding someone who meets the following seemingly impossible criteria: 1) palatable (if not exciting) to conservatives; 2) satisfactory name recognition; 3) geographic advantages; 4) able to reaffirm McCain’s maverick creds; 5) able to assume the presidency should tragedy strike; 6) not necessarily currently in politics.

Allow me to offer the name of MSNBC host and former Republican congressman Joe Scarborough.

Hm.

Hmmmmm.

I had not thought about this:

Scarborough boasts a rock-solid lifetime ACU rating of 95.  Even so, he does not shrink from criticizing Republicans when events warrant so he would help brandish the McCain maverick brand.  He does not harken from, or have any association with, the unpopular Bush Administration or current congressional GOP leadership as he left the House to spend more time with his children in early 2001.  His name recognition is not off the charts but would still probably exceed that of many of the other contenders.

OK.  The affirmative case is there.  The most important thing for GeeEmInEm to do is not blow the case with a complete howler…:

He is obviously telegenic and well-spoken.

Ooof-da.  There ya go.

Now, I’ll cop to the fact that I watch very little cable news and almost no cable talk shows.  But the times I”ve seen Scarborough I wasn’t especially impressed with the “speaking” bit.  I’ll allow that I could be wrong.

Someone convince me.

Miller also noted:

Meanwhile, two of the more exciting prospects, Bobby Jindal and Sarah Palin, are long on vision but short on experience.

Compared to Obama and Clinton?

I’ll admit I’ve gotten a bit more excited about Jindal lately.  I think his pluses far outweigh his minuses: Young, solidly conservative without the “paleo”, “neo” or “doctrinaire” labels, ethnic, in-but-not-of the south…

…and Catholic.  Michael Medved noted at dinner the other night that Catholics whom make under six digits – a fair chunk of the “Reagan Republican” coalition of 28 years ago – will likely be the swingiest of the swing votes in this election.

Somebody convince me.

…bow before the heroes walking in our midst. 

Grace “The World Trade Center was a Controlled Demolition” Kelly started the tradition, to give credit where it’s due. 

But Joe “Learned Foot” Tucci carries it on with style, interviewing Ryan Rhodes.

These tears are tears of joy.

Pat Toomey, former conservative Republican rep from Pennsylvania and current president of the Club for Growth, writes an excellent post on the GOP’s reflexive defense of RINOs (Republicans in Name Only). 

You need to read the whole thing for its background.  The story is, of course, an important one in Minnesota, as the GOP grassroots in many districts have taken action to shun RINOs – including some sitting incumbents. 

Toomey:

A Republican majority is only as useful as the policies that majority produces. When those policies look a lot like Democratic ones, the base rightly questions why it should keep Republicans in power. As the party gears up for elections in the fall, it ought to look closely at the losses suffered under a political strategy devoid of principle. Otherwise, it can look forward to a bad case of déjà vu.

Last week on the NARN, I said that in a sense – in the long-term, certainly – putting RINOs to the (rhetorical and political) pike is more important than defeating DFLers.  Hyperbolic?  Maybe – but also on point.  If we, the GOP, don’t offer a coherent choice (and in 2006, the voters were pretty clear that we did not), the voters will have no reason not to vote Tic.  Acting like Tics – like Reps. Erhard and Peterson and Tingelstad and the rest of the Override Six – eats the party’s seed corn; it gets a short-term electoral bump, at the expense of long-term viability as a party.

So about 600 or so of my closest friends joined us at the Northland Inn in Brooklyn Park last night for the first ever  debate, anywhere in the world, between nationally-syndicated conservative and liberal talk show hosts.  Michael Medved took on Ed Schultz in the two-hour “Donnybrook in Brooklyn Park”.   The event was jointly sponsored – this may be a national first – by AM950 Air America Minnesota and AM1280 The Patriot.

I co-MCed the event with former Minnesota state representative Matt Entenza.  We did a point-counterpoint format, switching off between me questioning Schultz and Entenza querying Medved.  Each response got two minutes; the other party got a minute’s rebuttal; if needed the original respondant got a minute worth of redirect.

Well, officially, anyway.  There were a few times it was hard to control the flow of things – but we did our best. 

A few random observations, in no particular order:

• Advance ticket sales as of the day before the event were roughly 4-1 in favor of AM1280 fans.  The lefties hit the doors late, however, so I estimate the crowd ended up about 2.5 or 3 to 1 conservative. 
• The lefties, however, made up for the numerical disadvantage with…er, enthusiasm.  Not that that was a bad thing; it was a fun evening.
• While I’ll admit my bias, I think it’s fair to say that Medved won on knowledge of facts and their coherent, articulate presentation. 
• What Schultz lacked in knowledge and ability to answer a question, however, he more than made up for with sheer volume.  He attacked the podium for every question, no matter how innocuous, at top volume, barely needing a microphone most of the night.  Face red, veins bulging, fingers poking the air in front of him for emphasis, he looked a bit like a banana-republic dictator on the dais.  But in a good way.
• Schultz had a very politician-like tendency to dodge the questions that were asked, and swerved handily into Carville/Begala-caliber snarking points as a substitute for actual command of the issues.
• The audience was…let’s just say “animated”.  In the interest of fairness, the heckling was bipartisan (although there were a group of people down to stage-left that were, I’ll be polite, bellowing like baying dogs at Medved). 
• The first half of the debate involved questions from Entenza and I.  For the second half, we took questions from the audience, on written index cards.  We found a lot of good ones – Entenza and I probably had 100 questions to sort through.  But there were some others and…well, let’s just say that I gotta shout out to America’s talk show phone screeners on the left and the right.  Whoooie.  It’s a tough job.

Leftyblogger Gavin Sullivan was there with a camera and his own review.

If you were there, feel free to drop a comment. 

It was sixty years ago today that Israel declared its independence.

It was sixty years ago tomorrow that Egypt, Syria, Jordan, Iraq and much of the rest of the Arab world started trying to drive them into the sea…

…an effort that has, directly and indirectly, never stopped. The Israeli military – a hardscrabble bunch of Holocaust survivors, Allied military veterans of WWII and impassioned settlers armed with weapons cast off by other nations, bought on the sly or, in some cases, stolen from them (Israel’s first tank was a Cromwell tank that had been stolen from the occupying British in 1947) and outnumbered prohibitively, Israel nevertheless fought its attackers to a stalemate. Three other attempts to drive Israel into the sea – in ’56, ’67 and ’73 – failed.

They are plagued by the same Palestinian terrorism problem that bedeviled them when I was a child – a problem that is a creation of Arab governments who have for sixty years refused to help defuse the refugee situation by negotiating, absorbing the refugees (Jordan fought a war to expel them in 1971) or, perhaps most importantly of all, defusing the situation by acknowledging Israel’s right to exist.

Israel is the sole functioning democracy in the Middle East, at least until Iraq solves its political problems. Israel is an imperfect ally – they are driven by immutable self-interest when there’s any doubt – but they have contributed much to the world in technology, literature, art, agriculture, and above all reourcefulness and courage in the face of dismal odds and lumpen hatred.

Happy Birthday, Israel!

Pianomomsicle writes to let me know that I’m far from the only one to have gotten a bad case of earworm from the Subway jingle (“Five. Five Dolla. Five Dolla Footlong!”)

Indeed, according to Slate, it’s something of a trend. It’d seem the creative jingle is making a bit of a comeback; in addition to the Subway spot (whose genesis the article explains), there are a few others:

Dunkin’ Donuts hired They Might Be Giants to pen a series of short songs about coffee and smoothies and such.

Until the Subway campaign (“Five. Five Dolla. Five Dolla Footlong!”) came along, Dunkin’s jingle (“Is it French, or is it Italian? It’s FreTalian!” and “Doing things is what I like to do…YES!”) were my commercial earworm du jour.

And then…:

And the current campaign for FreeCreditReport.com makes bold use of infectious musical storytelling. While the Subway jingle is more a demi-jingle, with very little build and no verses, the FreeCreditReport.com songs are full-blown ballads—which of course include carefully enunciated mentions of the brand, in this case literally spelled out.

“F R E E, that spells Free, Credit Report Dot Com, Baybee…”

The songwriter for these spots was David Muhlenfeld of the Martin Agency, who says he “went away with my guitar and some cheap Chianti” to find inspiration. When I asked Muhlenfeld whether he used any particular tricks to make the tunes catchy, he replied: “Repetition alone will make something stick in a listener’s head. The question is, once your song is in their head, will they want to stick that head in an oven?”

My oven won’t hold my head, but fear not; I have no idea how to find a Dunkin’ Donuts (I’m more a bagel guy anyway), wouldn’t patronize Free Credit Report.com at gunpoint, and work right by a Jimmy John’s.

But dang – I do wind up singing singing those damn jingles…

However – and this one’s going out to all the musicians in the house – I almost laughed a Lattachocca out my nose reading this bit – talking with the writer of the Subway jingle:

“The chord structure does imply something dark,” [songwriter Jimmy Harned of boutique studio Tonefarmer], agreed, getting out his guitar to demonstrate over the phone. “On the word long, it goes down from a C to an A-flat,” he said, strumming, “which is kind of a weird place. It’s definitely not a poppy, happy place. It’s more of a metaly place. But at the same time, the singing stays almost saccharine.”

Back in college, I was asked to write the most irritating possible musical passage on my guitar. I came up with something that crunched between C and A flat – over, and over, and over, and over and over…

(more…)

As I noted on the show last Saturday, I watched this  Channel 5 piece on bicyclists that go through stopsigns and lights.

And I thought “whooie!  I’m a public enemy!”

I started my biking-to-work season about two weeks ago.  It’s not really about gas prices – my company pays half the cost of my “all you can ride” bus card, so I very rarely drive to work anyway.  It’s partly about health – I’m 45, and I’d like not to spend the next forty years in hospitals, if I can avoid it – and largely because it just plain feels good.  It’s an energizing way to kick off the morning, and a relaxing way to end the day. 

It’s also fun to be able to drive up next to “Obama”-sticker-clad Priuses and yell “you earth-destroying gas-guzzler!”, and watch them wither with guilt.

One of the little secrets about biking is that if you keep your legs moving, they are much more efficient.  If your legs settle into a rhythm – if they don’t have to cool off, then warm up, then cool off, then warm up, then cool off repeatedly – they can, with a little conditioning, keep on going for an amazing time.  That’s why proficient bikers don’t coast down hills – it cools down your leg muscles, and makes you exert much more energy when you start pedalling again. 

Maintaining a rhythm also leaves you less susceptible to injury.  With my very screwed-up right knee, that’s important to me. 

So – like a lot of bikers – I’ll play each stop sign as it lies. 

If I’m pulling up to a sign, I’ll check carefully in both directions, and for cars behind me, and cars ahead that went to turn in front of me.  I’ll yield to any of the above, of course, because in addition to traffic laws, I have the laws of physics working against me; my bike and I will bounce off a 4,000 pound car like a pigeon off of a semi. 

Otherwise?  Yep – with great care, I’ll go through the intersection.

So – send a camera crew and a paddy wagon.

Or at least some ice packs.

I’m pleased as punch to note that two of my favorite, er, let’s say “niche” publications are still in business.

I was working at Cray Research fifteen years ago when I encountered The Journal of Irreproducible Results, which is  to science what The Onion is to news.  What I didn’t know was that the JIR’s history goes back over half a century.  And while their usual fare revolves around parodies of scientific publications (and since I was a technical writer at the time, the format certainly resonated), this bit here is near and dear to any blogger that runs a comment section.

The Wittenburg Door and I go back even further; a high school classmate of mine served as its editor back in the late eighties.   It’s like…well, here’s another Onion reference; it’s The Onion of religious writing.  The Door has always been a hand-to-mouth project – but when it occurs to me to go read it (every couple of years, lately) it’s always a great read.

I read Grace “9/11 was an inside job!” Kelly’s opus to Bill “Michele Bachmann caused 9/11” Prendergrast over at MNBlue (Motto:  “For those who think Daily Kos isn’t crazy enough“) the other day.

And it inspired me; it’s time for us to acknowledge – indeed, pay obeisance to – the heroes that walk among us. 

And so I hereby present my interview with Joe “Learned Foot” Tucci, blogger thunderjournalist extraordinaire.

And you know that this report is accurate, since I got it emailed directly from Joe!

———-

1) How did you get started writing about politics?

 One day, I saw injustice.  I decided right then and there that if there was to be justice, I MUST ACT. For if not me, who?  If not now, when?  If not here, where?  The stakes were too high to wait, and there were no heroes waiting in the wings.  I needed to save the world.

So I started a poop blog.

 2) Do you have a special mission?

 I’ll be all around in the dark – I’ll be everywhere. Wherever you can look – wherever there’s a fight, so hungry people can eat, I’ll be there. Wherever there’s a cop beatin’ up a guy, I’ll be there. I’ll be there in the way guys yell when they’re mad. I’ll be in the way kids laugh when they’re hungry and they know supper’s ready, and when the people are eatin’ the stuff they raise and livin’ in the houses they build – I’ll be there, too. And if some moron dies of alcohol poisoning from a sherry enema, oh ho! you can bet your ass I’ll be there too.

 3) How did God actually hand you this mission?

 I was fasting alone in the woods for 40 days as is my typical lenten custom.  While there, the clouds parted and a voice told me to start a poop blog because, let’s face it, if you want to influence the world and change society for the better, the best way to do so is by running a ThunderJournal that gets 300 uniques per day.

 While we were chatting, God also told me that even though evolution was pretty much how things went down, PZ Meyers was actually an accident – or rather, a practical joke gone horribly horribly awry.

 4) What do you consider your best piece of writing?

 I think my readers consider this my definitive post.   Personally I have a soft spot for the Viagra song.  It was a very important post for turbulent times.

 5) OK, now what do you consider your double-dog bestEST piece of writing?

 OK, fine: “Oh Sherry (enema)“.  Of course there was also my magnum opus, my long overdue tribute to myself.  But film editing isn’t writing, though it takes a special talent that only I and about 12 other people in  Minnesota possess.

6) Do you have a short version of your personal philosophy? The one by which you endeavor to live your life?

 “Poop often.”

 (Otherwise you’ll end up like Prendergast.)

 7) What is the best way for the rest of us to live up to your philosophy in OUR daily lives?

 Listen to me.  Everyone else is full of shit and is a moron.  Except for me.  READ MY BLOG!

 8) Who are your heroes and why?

 I am a hero.  My own hero.  And yours too.  Did you ever know that I’m your hero?

 9) Why did you wait so long before logging on to the Interwebs as Joe Tucci?

 Oh, that wily craptoonist Avidor outed me!  Of course, you haven’t heard much from him lately have you?

 10) Do you write with the same style in all places?

 Well…I do use a terser, more pithy tone when banging out a post while sitting on the toilet.

 11) How much feedback do you get?   Does everyone love your work as much as the smart people do, or are some of them morons?  Is it different from the “not wired to code” version of politics?

I get no feedback.  Everybody other than me is too dumb to figure out how to comment on my ThunderJournal.  But that’s by design.  Because if they’re smart enough to get my commenting system, then they’re smart enough to be in total agreement with me, and will have nothing further to add to the conversation that would merit a comment anyway.

So I guess you could say that I have the smartest readership, and the best comment threads on the internet.

12) What does good government look like?

Jennifer Love Hewitt

13) What does a good stool look like?

Firm.  Bulbous.  Tan.  Kind of like Jennifer Love Hewitt.

14) I notice that you engage in conversation and debate with opposing viewpoints quite successfully.  Why do you dominate weaker minds so easily?

Let me turn that around on you: why are weaker minds so easily dominated by me?

Think about it.  Clever, huh?

———-

Take a moment to reach out to the great, great heroes among us. 

To: The Software industry

From:  Mitch Berg

Re:  Mislabeling.

To whom it may concern,

A “support forum” where you can go ask questions of other equally-frustrated users of your crappy product is not, in fact, “support”. 

No, keep the forum.  Just quit calling it part of your “support service”. 

That is all.

MBerg

Tonight’s the big evening – the Donnybrook in Brooklyn Park between Ed Schultz, America’s most only successful liberal talk host, and Michael Medved.  It’ll be kicking off around eightish at the Northland Inn, at 94 and Boone, around 8ish (dinner at 6 for VIP ticket holders).

Get your tickets at the Patriot website – they’re $99 for the VIP Ticket, which includes dinner with Medved, Schultz and about a hundred of their closest friends, plus the debate and a photo op.

Tix for the debate only are $20 in advance, $25 at the door.

The cool part?  Half of the debate is gonna be audience questions.  Mind you, not questions by video snowmen – questions from you. 

I join with my co-MC, former St. Paul representative and current MN2020 poobah Matt Entenza, in hoping to see you there!

The possibly-bankrupt Strib is pondering cuts.

In addition to staff, though, says the MNPost’s David Brauer, this time they’re cutting actual Strib:

The Strib’s Sunday feature section, Source, will die sometime this summer. The Home & Garden section will no longer be stand-alone — it becomes the Wednesday Source section. And — in a move pregnant with meaning for 2005-redesign-haters — the Source name is being dumped for the old moniker, Variety.
All told, the paper will lose seven full pages of stories each week. That’s a solid ad-free page of copy a day, though the loss may be concentrated on Wednesday and to a lesser degree, on Sunday. The stakes are especially high for the latter edition; it’s by far the week’s biggest moneymaker, but it’s been shrinking steadily and circulation is down 7 percent in the past year.

So why is Graydon Royce happy? The Strib’s longtime theater critic is also co-chair of the newsroom’s union, so he’s not one given to ebullience about management decisions. The l-word I expected to hear from his lips was “loathe,” not “like.”

But Royce says there are several positive aspects to the proposal. Sunday Source is a vestige of the redesign’s Signature section, which showcased long-form weekend pieces but quickly flopped. It survived as Sunday Source — which basically wrapped classifieds and ad circulars. “It was a small section, advertisers were frustrated and readers couldn’t find it,” Royce notes.

It was especially hard to find when you haven’t subscribed for years – but we digress.

Cuts the Strib should make – now there’s a topic…

I knew bupkes about Michelle Obama until her “Barack will save the nation’s soul” crack last winter. I figured then that she was going to be a huge liability among the part of the electorate that doesn’t feel hatred and contempt for the rest of the electorate.
Michelle Malkin writes about that exact observation:

In one of her few (unintentionally) funny moments during a recent sit-down with comedian Stephen Colbert, Mrs. Obama claimed, “Barack and I tend to look at the positives.” That’s a side-splitter. As National Review’s Yuval Levin put it, Michelle Obama is “America’s unhappiest millionaire.” And she has the audacity to extrapolate her misery and her husband’s alleged victimization to the “vast majority of Americans.”

In South Carolina, she called America “just downright mean” and bemoaned “a nation of struggling folks who are barely making it every day.” And in case you hadn’t heard enough of her carping about how hard it is for a seven-figure-earning family to pay for ballet lessons and piano lessons and pay off college loans, Mrs. Oh-Woe-Is-Me was at it again on the campaign trail in Indiana and North Carolina before Tuesday’s primary.

On the stump, she warmed up (or rather, berated) supporters by complaining about how her husband is an underdog even after he keeps winning primary and caucus after primary and caucus. With a scowl etched on her face, she bellyached that “the bar is constantly changing for this man.” Call the waambulance, stat.

If Obama wins, look for Michelle Obama to be his analog to Billy Carter.