Biden Gets the Full Torricelli

By Mr. D

No surprise that Joe Biden has ended his campaign. He’s been a fugitive from Madame Tussauds for a long time now and even when he was at the height of his powers, he was at best a 10-watt bulb. He has been a horrible buffoon and genuine menace to the body politic for a half century and his departure from the field is long overdue. I have long thought Bill Clinton was the most despicable person to occupy the Oval Office, but Biden provides strong competition for the title.

Kamala Harris is, at this point, the frontrunner for the Donks, but it remains to be seen if the powers that be on the port side are willing to let her be the nominee. Not sure they are. My guess is they would rather have a fresh face without the associated baggage to take on the Bad Orange Man. Who would that be? I can think of a few possibilities, in order of plausibility:

Josh Shapiro, Governor of Pennsylvania

Roy Cooper, Governor of North Carolina

Andy Beshear, Governor of Kentucky

Gretchen Whitmer, Governor of Michigan

Of that group, Whitmer likely has the highest profile, which is what makes her the least likely possibility. She’s got a definite air of Nurse Ratched about her and the only demographic that finds her appealing is human resources managers. Given his overall greasiness and demonstrably dismal performance, I don’t think Gavin Newsom is the one, nor do I see Pritzker of Illinois having a shot either. There are some delusional types (Betty McCollum, for example) who are touting Tim Jong Walz as a possible dark horse, but he’s a sputtering moron who would have no chance unless the entire Washington press corps morphs into Esme Murphy. And you can forget Skeletor Evers next door as well, as he has the charisma of lint.

I don’t doubt there will be any number of other adventures before we get to November; I would not be surprised if another assassination attempt is forthcoming, nor would I be surprised if the corrupt judge in the New York trial that saddled Trump with a bunch of “felonies” tries to put Trump in Rikers in the general population. Any other guesses? Place yer bets.

7 Responses to “Biden Gets the Full Torricelli”

  1. Night Writer Says:

    President Frodo clung desperately to the Precious, unwilling to give it up, and retreated to Swag End. Former Speaker Gollum had to bite it off of his finger.

    I wonder if the savviest Donks want anything to do with getting the nomination this time. Might be better to wait for 2028 and avoid what could be a tainting experience.

  2. jdm Says:

    When I heard about Biden, this song came almost immediately to mind. Welcome Back, My Friends (to the show that never ends).

    I suppose it’s just all part of the Bread and Circuses that our betters use to keep us ignorant and distracted.

  3. dcs Says:

    Be careful, Night Writer, allusions to the LOTR will cause MSNBC to accuse you of Aryanism.

  4. bosshoss429 Says:

    Actually, Night, I think that it was Mrs. President Frodo that didn’t want to give up the precious.

  5. MtkaMoose Says:

    Mitch – you’re being too hard on Esme Murphy. I think she would fit right in the middle of the Washington DC press corp!

  6. bosshoss429 Says:

    Moose;
    I might actually pay to see that. The DC press corp would probably laugh her out of the place.

  7. bikebubba Says:

    A Whitmer-Harris fight on the convention floor might be something to see. Cue up Julie Brown’s “Girl Fight Tonight.”

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