Ritual
By Mitch Berg
Yesterday, I…:
- Changed the oil in my snowblower.
- Put in the first fresh gas of the season.
- Got my boots, choppers, coat and wool cap out and ready to go.
- Got a pot of Korean beef stew ready to go in the pressure cooker.
If we wind up getting half an inch of snow, you have me to thank.
November 29th, 2022 at 7:17 am
“Got my boots, choppers, coat and wool cap out and ready to go.”
Imagine paying outrageous taxes for the privilege of living on Hoth.
Then imagine your Hoth neighbors elect Jeffrey Dahmer, Beavis and Butthead, and Pol Pot to rule over you.
Welcome to Minnesota.
November 29th, 2022 at 7:29 am
Imagine that scenario isn’t the worst.
The poor slobs in Illinois pay a median 15.01% in taxes; highest in the country, now. They pay that to prop up a bloated and corrupt government, a bloated and corrupt civil service, hundreds of thousands of welfare recipients, a black hole public transit system, an enormous police force to keep an army of homicidal, 75IQ negro thugs contained, corrupt labor unions and general waste in a city most wouldn’t get within 50 miles of.
I don’t get it.
November 29th, 2022 at 7:31 am
My winter storm prep? None. I just won’t go outside.
Did you know that you can pay someone to clear your driveway and sidewalk for you? It’s true!
November 29th, 2022 at 7:33 am
And we’d be remiss not to mention that city, Chicago, elected Beetlejuice for mayor!
November 29th, 2022 at 7:44 am
Could be worse, UMMP. Pele has blown her top again. My friend says at night you can see the glow of Mauna Loa from Hill bay and Pele’s hair is flying everywhere on the East coast.
November 29th, 2022 at 7:45 am
*Hilo bay*
November 29th, 2022 at 8:21 am
Yep, an NE rift zone eruption. Not too bad so far, from what I hear.
If it gets worse, it might be a good time to pick up some cheap real estate as non-resident property owners re-evaluate their risk exposure to ML eruptions & panic sell.
November 29th, 2022 at 8:34 am
If we wind up getting half an inch of snow, you have me to thank.
Better still, now that you’ve jinxed it, the bulk of the storm system that dusts the metro will dump the main load on the quaint little metro area 4 hours to your south.
So, yes, thanks, Mitch!
November 29th, 2022 at 8:45 am
privilege of living on Hoth
Enh. Minnesota winters are pretty wussy, but I couldn’t live without SOME kind of winter.
November 29th, 2022 at 8:51 am
I’d have thought that by being ready for winter, you’d end up with no snow whatsoever for a while. :^)
November 29th, 2022 at 9:25 am
Enh. Minnesota winters are pretty wussy, but I couldn’t live without SOME kind of winter.
Until you move south and realize that snow, and especially cold, are grossly overrated.
November 29th, 2022 at 9:41 am
Y’know what I hated most about MN? Even more than the cold and the dark and the degenerates and the taxes and stinking Somalis?
Getting a shock *every fucking time* I grabbed a door handle. Took me a full year to open a door without first touching my wrist to the handle once I btfo of there.
November 29th, 2022 at 9:44 am
” I couldn’t live without SOME kind of winter.”
Me neither. I like the motorcycle riding and grilling out kind of Winter. If I want snow and cold, I can drive 45 minutes into the mountains and get snow and cold….but I don’t want snow *or* cold, so I don’t go up there in Winter.
November 29th, 2022 at 9:45 am
I made a journey to the Kwik Trip for my morning coffee. Snow is just starting to come down heavy in Polk County.
A month ago Kwik Trip sold a dozen eggs for $2.99. Three weeks ago the price shot up to $3.49. Today? $3.99. That is a 33% increase in four weeks.
Tryin’ to figure out how Trump is to blame.
November 29th, 2022 at 9:56 am
Until you move south and realize that snow, and especially cold, are grossly overrated.
Nah. That’s how I feel about summer. Grossly overrated.
November 29th, 2022 at 9:57 am
UMMP, everyone was yelling about how much Thanksgiving dinner cost this year. We had a game feed (venison and pheasants). I was gonna laugh at everyone until I added up the cost to get those pheasant in N. Dakota last year. I figure each one cost about $225.00. Enjoy them $4 Eggs! 😉
November 29th, 2022 at 10:02 am
jdm, without hearty souls like you, the degenerates of Hoth would starve, or worse, move to Southern states.
Thank you for your service, sir.
November 29th, 2022 at 10:28 am
The most wonderful time of the year! 🎄❄️⛷️
November 29th, 2022 at 12:54 pm
Now that the real winter weather is settling in, Mayor Mom-Jeans can claim success from the “ghost cruiser” campaign in Minneapolis for bringing down the crime rate. In reality, the thugs are just holing up for the winter cause its too much work to go out and “crime” when its cold – some went back to Chicago, the rest are just collecting their checks and will be back “on the job” come spring.
November 29th, 2022 at 1:15 pm
no matter how much snow we get, mitch can claim he saved us from the surge of snowfall which computer models confidently predicted would come
without his inspired leadership it would have been so much worse
thank you
thank you
thank you