More Superlatives
By Mitch Berg
Now that I’ve successfully defended my credentials as the Twin Cities’ foremost feminist (granted, it wasn’t difficult), it’s time to move on to the next challenge.
This orange I have in my hand here?
Tastiest. Orange. In the. World.
No other orange can come close.
Feel free to find your worldviews again challenged to their very cores.
May 2nd, 2007 at 10:49 am
I suspect you’re being hyperbolic but as I have no idea how to test tastiness, my response to you is:
“I’m glad you thought so.”
Its an interesting thing, sometimes truth matters less than perception.
May 2nd, 2007 at 10:53 am
Yes!
That, and having a group of people who can’t abide the notion that someone they disagree with might like oranges as much as they do.
May 2nd, 2007 at 11:01 am
But does it rhyme?
May 2nd, 2007 at 11:03 am
That’s not an orange, it’s a tangerine!
May 2nd, 2007 at 11:38 am
Blood orange or Jaffa?
May 2nd, 2007 at 11:38 am
WAIT!
I have a NOW report showing that womyn’s oranges were sabotaged by Halliburton!
In writing and everything!
May 2nd, 2007 at 11:59 am
Not as tasty as the apple I have. Of course it’s very hard to compare the two.
May 2nd, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Oranges were used as the explosives that brought down the World Trade Center.
May 2nd, 2007 at 12:38 pm
We all know that the Bushies are controlled by Big Orange.
May 2nd, 2007 at 12:50 pm
The orange you are so enjoying was no doubt picked by a female migrant worker only earning 68% of what her male counterparts do. The entire citrus industry is nothing more than a patriarchal plot to suppress women by playing on stereotypical images of the “good wife” hand squeezing orange juice for husband for breakfast before he heads off to work, leaving her in a virtual prison of dreary housework and child rearing. I hope you enjoy the fruits of her labor, you misogynistic pig.
May 2nd, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Chad has a promising future as a writer for the Red Star.
May 2nd, 2007 at 2:54 pm
Jeff Fecke: “If you don’t eat prunes, you’re why women get raped”.
Rewd: “Here’s a report from NARAL that says womyns’ oranges are both smaller and poisoned. By men”.
MNOb: “That orange can’t taste good. I haven’t had an orange in years”.
Tild: “I hate men, orange or not”
Note to Jeff Fecke: here’s a prescription for a pair of testicles.
May 2nd, 2007 at 5:30 pm
Mitch, did you set aside any carbon offsets for that orange? Keep in mind when performing your offset calculation this year there was a hard freeze in the Florida fields back in 1 Quarter carbon year 2007 and that happened after the forms were already printed, so you’ll need to factor in an increased marketshare from Mexico and Brazil in order to compensate – just look at schedule C in your Federal carbon tax booklet and file an estimated allowance form.
May 2nd, 2007 at 6:55 pm
It’s not the orange you have in your hand that’s the tastiest, it’s the orange you’re just about to eat.
It’s like buying cars. What’s the ideal car? The one that so superbly meets your needs that you absolutely have to have it?
The one you’re thinking about buying. No car that you actually have could possibly match it.
May 2nd, 2007 at 7:17 pm
You should be proud Mitch. You attract a highly creative cadre of lunatics. Funny too.
May 2nd, 2007 at 8:12 pm
This is obviously a coded reference to the centuries long English occupation of Ireland. I bet ya think that orange would go down nicely with a black & tan, don’t ya, Mitch? We’re on ta ya,ya feckin’ gobdaw.