It Was Twelve Years Ago…
By Mitch Berg
…at about this time that my oldest, “Bun” (not her real name) was born.
Her mother had gone into the “slow” labor three days earlier (at a KDWB Star Party, after Bell Biv Devoe’s set). About four the night before she’d gone into hard labor – which subsided as soon as we got to Ramsey County Hospital. A supremely arrogant resident, an Indian woman, sent us home – where the contractions jumped to one every 45 seconds the moment we got to the front steps.
Eighteen hours of back labor later, the room flooded with doctors and nurses; I was too dazed to realize “this is probably a bad thing”. She was going into fetal distress from all the pushing; she had a salad tong delivery just in time to avoid a caesarian.
She’s been about the same at getting to places on time ever since.
Anyway – it’s been a wild 12 years. Happy Birthday, Bun!
CORRECTION: Whoops – it’s been 18 years. I had to double-check it. Didn’t seem possible. But yep, sure enough – Bell Biv Devoe hasn’t even been on top 40 radio since 1991.
So ow. Yeah. My oldest is 18. My legal obligations just officially dropped in half. I say “officially”, of course; she’s not going anywhere for a while, yet. My “whack upside the head” factor, OTOH, doubled. The phrase “time flies” is terribly overused – but it’s true. It doesn’t seem possible.
Anyway – happy birthday, Bun!
August 8th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Happy birthday Bun. I remember you in those years when you were small, and your dad was changing diapers. This is one of those special birthdays that makes a difference in your life – well more than most. I hope passing this mark is part of a grand adventure.
August 8th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
Wow, that’s a milestone, Mitch. Happy birthday, Bun!
August 9th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Mitch, coming from the millenial (anyone born between 1980-1995) generation your daughter does (albeit I’m almost exactly 5 years older) I think it would be safe to say the only thing that is going to save you from the silent treatment is that you didn’t use her real name and I’m guessing she probably never checks this blog. As a sidenote for all you Gen-Xers here here’s a article that explains my generation
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/11/08/60minutes/main3475200.shtml
August 10th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
Way to go Mitch!!!
Happy B-Day Bun.
Our youngest turns 18 this fall and the oldest turns 21.
And I quote my dad and myself; “As long as you are living under MY roof…”
Hey, what do ya know, my B-Day is in 8 days!
August 10th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
K-Rod you have got to be kidding me, we have the same birthdays? Wow.
August 10th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
also I have the perfect present for you to give her so she will be ready for college Mitch. From the People’s Cube:
The end of summer rapidly approaches, but there is still time for your child’s indoctrination at Kamp Obama!
At Kamp Obama we educate young skulls full of mush in such progressive activities as groupthink, activism, denunciations, and show trials. From Marx and Engels to Alinsky and Ayers, your child will learn the best tactics, thinking techniques, and viewpoints. In addition to fun, we train in the following useful skills that he, she, or it will need as a progressive adult:
Pie Throwing
Bullying
Shout Down
Physical Intimidation
In Your Face
Punch Twice As Hard
The Chicago Way