Prescription: Cancel It!
By Mitch Berg
Pediatric psychologists show that I’ve suspected all along; “Spongebog Squarepants” will kill them.
No. It won’t But it makes them into spazzes:
In a randomized, controlled study, psychologists from the University of Virginia in the US tested 4-year-olds just after they watched nine minutes of television shows or sat drawing for nine minutes. The children watched two types of show: SpongeBob Squarepants a fast-paced cartoon fantasy show, and Caillou, a slower-paced, more realistic public television educational cartoon about a pre-school boy.
Upshot: While the kids who watched “Caillou” thought Al Franken was just dreamy, the “Spongebob” sample smoked crack and hit each other with bowling balls.
No, I’ve always hated that stupid show. I wouldn’t be surprised if they tied it to terrorism.
September 12th, 2011 at 11:13 am
You are talking about Caillou, right? Because you cannot be talking about dear ol’ Spongebob. How else are our kids supposed to learn how to tie their shoelaces?
September 12th, 2011 at 11:40 am
Who wrote this? Squidward?
September 12th, 2011 at 12:10 pm
I recall that this same profession claimed that watching Looney Tunes would make my generation more likely to push people off cliffs.
Silly psychologists, it made people of my generation like Obama more likely to push them under the bus.
September 13th, 2011 at 3:03 am
And heavy metal will turn perfectly innocent youngsters into drug laden Satan worshipers. (never mind that I’ve heard Muzak makeovers of some heavy metal songs from the “worst” bands of of mid 80s)
And Elvis and the swinging pelvis will destroy a generation of teens.
blah blah blah.
September 14th, 2011 at 11:38 pm
I blame Patrick Star and the Rolling Stones! Seriously, Barney is the closest thing to a suicide factor I know! I love you, you love me, we’re a happy, family with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won’t you say you love me too?…..Ahhhhhh.
September 15th, 2011 at 7:50 am
Fingers,
Heh. Plenty of blame to go around.
But I gotta tell you – when my daughter was born, I worked nights and my (at the time) wife worked days, so I stayed home with the baby all day. And she was one active, busy baby; no time off with her – except for the two episodes of “Barney” that Channel 2 ran every day. And those were the two “breaks” I got all day; I could run to the bathroom, make a pot of coffee, grab a sandwich – it was awesome. I learned to tolerate that purple dinosaur.
And then, at work, I’d hear people – usually without kids – saying “oooh, I HATE Barney”, and I’d think “I get that – but you have no idea…”
I was happy when we graduated from that phase, though…