One Day At MNDFL HQ
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: It’s a typical weekday at the MNDFL headquarters. Richard CARLBOM, the chair, is meeting with activist Avery LIBRELLE and Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK, party executive Inge “Lucky” CARROLL, as well as Betty Rae TORSTENGAARDSEN, from the (possibly fictional) progressive blog “MinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com“. She was Lac Qui Parle County Dairy Princess in 1987, and voted “most likely to end up as a freelance political writer” by her sorority at U of M Morris in 1992.
LIBRELLE: So polling is showing that Minnesotans are getting concerned about the amount of fraud in Minnesota government.
CARROLL: I say we do what we always do – bully voters into silence.
BIRKENSTOCK: It worked well during the Same Sex Marriage issue in 2012!
CARROLL: (Sotto voce) Brown noser…
CARLBOM: (Beamingˆ). Yeah, those were the days. But I think we need something different. The other side has given up the illusion that Minnesota is the same as the one Garrison Keillor talked about. We need to step up the game.
LIBRELLE: How?
CARLBOM: Hear me out. We don’t just double down. We dec-tuple down.
CARROLL: We make fraud…cool!
BIRKENSTOCK: Sort of like “celebrate your abortion” for graft!
LIBRELLE: How do we do that?
CARLBOM: We run a campaign showing DFL pols, stakeholders, non-profiteers and the like, revelling in the wealth they’ve gained from…somewhere.
BIRKENSTOCK: Show Omar Fateh driving down the street in a Bentley!
CARROLL: “Don’t you want to be like Omar?”
LIBRELLE: So pitch defrauding the state as…
CARLBOM: The ultimate social program.
CARROLL: I like it!
And SCENE
August 6th, 2025 at 7:13 am
Fraud is just another term for social justice.
August 6th, 2025 at 5:42 pm
One thing many don’t realize about fraud is really the old proverb about the bank robber. Asked why he robbed banks, he simply stated that that was where the money is.
Same basic thing with government. Question #1 needs to be “does this particular pile of money need to be here in the first place?”, and if the answer to that is yes, question #2 is “what controls do you have to ensure that the money goes to the intended use?”. Minnesota is becoming a laughing stock simply because our progressives assume, weirdly, that you can put people by a pile of money with few if any controls and expect them to do good with it.
It’s a thought process that few, if any, would ever attempt with teenagers, whiskey, and the car keys, but our government loves to do it with favored workers and our money.
August 6th, 2025 at 6:30 pm
You need to change the names of your characters, Merg.
Get some Abdi’s, Muktahrs and Mohammad’s in there. Get with the times, son.