The DFL – On Relentless Patrol!
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: Mitch BERG is checking out after a meal at an Indian restaurant in the north ‘burbs. Hostess Elora BANNERJEE is running BERG’s card, as he notices Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK, Cat SCAT and LEAKEY the Beagel climbing out of an Uber. BERG frantically drums his fingers, waiting for the card-reader to approve the transaction – which it does, just as the three progressive activists walk through the door.
BIRKENSTOCK: Merg!
BERG: Oh, hey, Moon…
BIRKENSTOCK: Shut up. The MNGOP just voted to for bullying!
BERG: You mean, for a bigger, stronger person being able to use their size and power to exert their will over others?
SCAT: Yeah! They votes for…
SCAT: Hey! You’re interrupting!
BIRKENSTOCK: That was rude! How dare you use size and volume to yell over someone who’s…
LEAKY: Zat vas anozzer interrrrhuption!
BIRKENSTOCK: How dare you!
BERG: OK, so glad to see you disavow people interrupting other…
BIRKENSTOCK: Shut up. So while you Republicans were pushing a bill that legalized bullying…
BERG (stifling a yawn, badly) by stopping the erasure of women in their own sports by men who’ve in many cases not even begun the years-long process of hormonal transition, which never actually completely erases mens’ physical advantages…
BIRKENSTOCK: SHUT UP! What were you doing to fix the economy?]
BERG: I bet this is the point where you drop some kind of tweet from the DFL’s social media intern…ope, there you go…
BERG: So the party that squandered a $19B surplus, hiked taxes, blew up the budget, raised fees on everything from tabs to parking, and shrugged their shoulders and said there’s nothing they can do about an acceptable level of fraud and corruption, and participated in the ruinously inflationary spending binge of the past four years, has done exactly what to “make life more affordable?”
(The three look back and forth. SCAT produces a bullhorn from a capacious MPR tote bag).
BANNERJEE: (Pulling a bottle of mace from under the desk) Oh, no you don’t. Put that thing away.
SCAT: But…
BANNEREE: Now!
(The three sheepishly comply as BERG makes his escape).
And SCENE.
March 5th, 2025 at 9:43 am
Meanwhile, over in Wisconsin, their left wing moonbat governor, wants sign into law to change the definition of “mother” to “inseminated person”. You can add that to their other derogatory terms for women; “menstruating person”, “birthing person”, “lactating person”, “birthing person”, “chest feeder” and “person with a uterus”. Did I miss any? But, I’m sure that because their heroes refer to them that way, they are perfectly fine with it.
March 5th, 2025 at 12:56 pm
Sometimes I just console myself with the knowledge that H.L. Mencken is my spirit animal.
Other times I hope my employer opens that Branch is SoDak and offers me the Branch Manager position.
One of those things actually helps me right now.
March 5th, 2025 at 3:29 pm
BossHoss,
You missed one. Non-trans woman.
What most of those terms do is reduce a female to her bodily functions. Now think of the connotations to the word ‘mother’– warm, loving, gentle, protective etc. They want to strip those feelings and leave us being just a uterus. Interchangeable, emotionless.