Yesterday At The Minnesota Supreme Court
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: The Minnesota Supreme Court. The court, various court staff, and the plaintiff and respondent attorneys, are arguing the merits of the election-related business in front of them. Also present are the GOP’s attorney Ryan WILSON, and the DFL’s counsel,LEAKY THE BEAGLE.
CHIEF JUSTICE HUDSON: OK, counsel for the defense. Your statement.
WILSON: Our case is clear and consistent, your honors. The Minnesota State Constitution is clear that:
- Quorum is a majority of current members. Given the overturning of the District 40B election, that means there were 133 members on January 14, the statutory date for convening the legislature. That means a quorum is 67.
- Furthermore, your honors, as the Constitution clearly gives the Legislature the duty to run its own affairs, the attempts by Secretary Simon, Governor Walz and, for that matter, any hypothetical attempt by the Supreme Court would be a violation of the separation of powers prescribed in both the US and Minnesota constitutions.
We therefore request the court dismiss this frivolous and anti-democratic claim with prejudice.
Thank you.
HUDSON : Thank you, Mr. Wilson. Now, Mr…Beagel?
LEAKY THE BEAGLE : (Slowly, ostentatiously waddles to the lectern). (Pauses). (Starts speaking in an atrocious German accent). Ladies und Chentelmenn of ze Zupreme Court…
JUSTICE THIESSEN: I’m sorry to interrupt – whats with the accent?
LEAKY THE BEAGLE: Nobody rrrrillly knowsss. May it pleece ze court…
(Slowly, with all pretentious dramatic intent, lays out seven photographs)
LEAKY THE BEAGLE: Nice houses zat you have. It’d be a schame if there were to get…(pauses for sininster effect)…mostly peacefully protested.
(There is silence).
HUDSON: We’ll – uh – take it under advisement.
LEAKY THE BEAGLE: Zat’s rrrrright. You vill.
And SCENE
January 17th, 2025 at 7:29 am
Very good. I see you took Mr Jones’ shiny nickel bet in another thread and put some meat on his argument. Oh, sure, it’s all exaggerated and absurd with a funny dog and a German accent, but I’m pretty sure it explains a whole bunch of high court decisions both here and nationally over the past few years. I mean, subtly, behind-the-scenes.
January 17th, 2025 at 7:31 am
Moderation. Dang. It had to be a funny d0g. Not a cat or a snake or even a hagfish. No, en hund.
January 17th, 2025 at 7:34 am
And let us not forget the children and grandchildren who may or may not get admitted to ivy league schools or may or may not get jobs with white shoe firms.
January 17th, 2025 at 11:35 pm
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January 18th, 2025 at 1:03 pm
I see the Grand High Poobahs decided Walz called the special election too early.
I did not see they decided whether the quorum was 67 or 68, which was the subject of the bet.
I’m hanging onto my nickel a little longer.