Shot in the Dark

A Modest But Emphatic Proposal

It’s high time we stopped calling Ivy Leaguers like this Columbia spokesbeing:

…as “our best and brightest”.

By the way – at “Mitch Berg University”, students who infringe other students rights – Jewish, conservative, liberal, communist, I don’t care – by depriving them of the use of the campus they pay to attend will be blockaded into their “autonomous zones”; no water or food go in, no sewage comes out.

Only way out is through a checkpoint where they either make a videotaped apology and commit to pay restitution to the students they’ve adversely affected, or sign the acknowledgement on their expulsion paperwork.

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Mitch Berg

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7 responses to “A Modest But Emphatic Proposal”

  1. SmithStCrx Avatar
    SmithStCrx

    Reminds me of something from my Facebook memories within the last week. A bunch woke morons took a lunch break from their hunger strike over some perceived slight or cause du jour.
    Adults these days…

  2. Mr. D Avatar
    Mr. D

    What a maroon.

  3. nerdbert Avatar
    nerdbert

    As a “spokesperson” she has so many red flags that you could almost consider her as a false flag event.

    Name: Johannah King-Slutzky. Seriously??? I know some unfortunately named folks, but she takes the cake.
    Demands: So incoherent as to be laughable when subjected to even a little inquiry. “We want food and water!” “Can’t you get it?” “Well, we want them to commit to getting it to us.” I guess that feeds into her media activities and making everything for show.
    Finally, her “Dissertation”: Quoting directly, “My dissertation is on fantasies of limitless energy in the transatlantic Romantic imagination from 1760-1860. My goal is to write a prehistory of metabolic rift, Marx’s term for the disruption of energy circuits caused by industrialization under capitalism. I am particularly interested in theories of the imagination and poetry as interpreted through a Marxian lens in order to update and propose an alternative to historicist ideological critiques of the Romantic imagination. Prior to joining Columbia, I worked as a political strategist for leftist and progressive causes and remain active in the higher education labor movement.”

    I challenge you to find a spokesman who would NOT be more of a strawman dreamt up by a MAGA extremist.

  4. bosshoss429 Avatar
    bosshoss429

    I’m not quite sure, but is that ELCA hair?

  5. Scott Hughes Avatar
    Scott Hughes

    Last night I said the action taken should be exactly as would have been done at “Mitch Berg University”. Barricade the rioters in the building so they can’t get out, kill the power, shut off all water and sewage for the building, make them beg to get out and then only allow one at time to surrender into custody.

  6. John "Bigman" Jones Avatar
    John “Bigman” Jones

    I wonder why that isn’t the default response.

    “Oh, you’ve glued yourself to the freeway? Okay. We’ll put up some cones to divert traffic around you, probably work just fine. Enjoy your protest. Bye now.”

    “Oh, you’ve handcuffed yourself to the railing? Well, we wouldn’t want anybody to interfere with your protest, that would totally violate your Ffirst Amendment rights to protest. We’ll help you vindicate your rights by preventing anybody from coming near you with signs or hurtful words, food or even a key, until you are ready to surrender into police custody. Just tell us when.”

  7. bikebubba Avatar
    bikebubba

    Her name is Johannah King-Slutzky. I am not making this up.

    “Johannah, you ignorant Slutsky”.

    Sorry, couldn’t resist. If you want to think about being self-loathing, yes, “Slutzky” is a Jewish surname from eastern Europe.

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