At A History Conference, 2174 AD
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: A conference room in Zürich, Switzerland. An international team of historians is gathered in a conference hall. Behind the panel tabel, a large “Powerpoint 2170” holographic slide displays the title for the session: “Origins of the Second American Civil War”.
PROFESSOR A: Welcome, one and all, to this discussion on the origins of the Second American Civil War. We’d like to start with this presentation from PROFESSOR B.
PROFESSOR B: Thank you. As you know, the origins of the Second American Civil War, 150 years ago, are shrouded in mystery. But we found this exchange on “X”, a “social medium” popular around 2024, that sheds some light on the subject.
(B swooshes his hand in the air, and the holograph advances to show a “Twitter thread”i)
ProgressiveDuke1332: ReTHUGlicons have no policies to fix Minneapolis’s problems.
Mitchpberg: Of course we do. Arrest, prosecute and incarcerate actual dangerous criminals. Make life better for law-abiding citizens. Get rid of impediments to affordable life, like rent control, the Met Council’s idiot zoning policies and city policies about “driving density”. Have a a sales tax holiday. Cut spending, and cut taxes, especially some of the more niggling, punitive taxes like parking meter rates and hospitality taxes, to simulate traffic and business.
ProgressiveDuke1332: Hahaha, mitchpberg think you can eliminate crime by lowering parking fees!
PROFESSOR B: This, I hold, was the beginning of a pattern where nobody in society could communicate about anything.
PROFESSOR C: So, part of America lashed out at the other part as a matter of…
PROFESSOR D: Intellectual self-defense?
PROFESSOR B: Precisely.
(Brow-furrowing and beard-scratching follows)
PROFESSOR E: I mean, it doesn’t not make sense…
(General assent breaks out).
And SCENE
March 5th, 2024 at 11:08 am
So there is a ProgressiveDuke1332 and it wrote those comments?
March 5th, 2024 at 2:13 pm
I’ve come to the conclusion that the Second Civil War will start with a Space Force Lt. Colonel ordering a strike on someone that refused to use “her” preferred pronouns.
FTR, Hollywood is just completely wrong. California and Texas won’t join forces to invade Washington DC.
March 6th, 2024 at 1:29 pm
SmithStCrx: Agreed. I cannot imagine the inclusivity gymnastics that had to be completed for someone to think CA and TX could unify against DC. If anything, DC would be allied with CA against TX.
A scenario like Kurt Schlichter’s KellyTurnbull series (a true geo-political divorce of the coasts vs fly-over country) seems really plausible to me, except I don’t see how the deep blue major cities in middle America (MSP, Chicago, Denver, Houston, etc.) will work out in that situation.
March 6th, 2024 at 4:10 pm
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