Around The MOB: Garden of Eden

One of the things that less-well-informed leftybloggers (see also: most leftybloggers, many of the most-quoted leftybloggers) like to chant is that “the MOB is a conservative group”.

It’s untrue, of course. Some lean left; some don’t really get political.

One of those is Garden of Eden – which is currently on the MOBRoll as “I’m Free Now” (and needs an update…). Gabrielle Eden runs it, and has been writing pretty prolifically since 2007. Kudos!

And the first thing that jumped to mind when I read GoE was “Daily Affirmations” – but that sounds too stuffy. There’s stuff about religion, family, gardening (!), cats – all the usual non-political blog fodder. But it’s good stuff. I feel better reading it.

As it happens, Ms. Eden didn’t write this piece – but it cracked me up anyway. It’s a collection of church bulletin bloopers, and I’m sure it’s been around the Internet a dozen times, but it’s new to me, and it made me laugh. Don’t judge me.

————————–

p, li { white-space: pre-wrap; }

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

————————–

The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’

————————–

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale.. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

————————–

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

————————–

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

————————–

Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

————————–

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

————————–

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

————————–

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

————————–

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

————————–

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice

————————–

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

————————–

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

————————–

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

————————–

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

————————–

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.

————————–

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

————————–

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

————————–

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

————————–

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

————————–

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

————————-

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

————————–

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

————————–

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday:

“I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours”.

“Garden of Eden”. Read it when touring the MOB (via “I’m Free Now”).

2 thoughts on “Around The MOB: Garden of Eden

  1. where is Peeve to write a 50,000 word dissertation on the context of each of those statements? And why neocons are responsible.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.