Vibrant! Vibraaaant! VIBRAAAAAAAAAAAANT!

II had to double-check to see I hadn’t clicked onto the Babylon Bee by accident.

Alas, no.

Minneapolis, reacting to the latest round of retail closures, is starting a – I swear, I’m not making this up – “Vibrant Downtown Storefronts Workgroup” to try to make downtown, for lack of a better term, suck less:

Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey convened a “Vibrant Downtown Storefronts Workgroup” this week following a string of recent high-profile closures.

“Cities that see the most success post-pandemic won’t cling to the old ways that are now changed forever,” Frey said in a press release. “Here in Minneapolis, we will step boldly into the future, guided by the top experts in our region, prepared to innovate and adapt. Minneapolis has always been a hub of commerce and innovation, and I am confident that this workgroup will help ensure we continue carrying that legacy forward.”

The workgroup will be co-chaired by Steve Cramer, president and CEO of the mpls downtown council, and Gabrielle Grier, managing director of Juxtaposition Arts.

So – downtown is starting a vibrant storefronts working group but downtown is back and it never really left and if you say otherwise you probably drive a minivan and live in Maple Grove.

19 thoughts on “Vibrant! Vibraaaant! VIBRAAAAAAAAAAAANT!

  1. There’s no need to be mean to Maple Grove. Greater MN would be quite happy to wear that mantel of doubt about vibrant storefronts and whether downtown is back. I don’t have any need to defend them, but from out here in Greater MN where I live, we think Maple Grove is nearly as bad as Mpls.

    There are people from “the cities” moving out here and the culture is changing, but long before the Kung Flu and the martyrdom of St George of Floyd, there were many people out here who had never been to downtown Mpls/St Paul in their entire life, much less inside the 94 beltway.

  2. That’s an interesting quote, Cities that see the most success post-pandemic won’t cling to the old ways that are now changed forever. How would he know? Are there cities any cities that have had success post-pandemic? And how is that success measured?

    Also that bit about being guided by the top experts in our region. Who are these experts? In what? Are these the experts that guided the unknown cities that have seen the most success post-pandemic?

    Who buys this shit? I’m sorry for blabbing on, but sometimes I’m just a bit astounded how dumb people in the [Cc]ities are. I mean, as measured by their freely elected politicians.

  3. ^ That brings up a good point, UMMP. You’re from Fridley. What did Bob from Fridley think about downtown Mpls? I mean, historically.

  4. Cover over the empty storefront doors and windows and paint murals! A good series would be the faces of all the Minneapolis mayors and City Council chairs over the last 60 years that have led the city down this path.

  5. i cant see why there’s a need this solution when there is no problem

    ive been assured restraurants are flooding into downtown

    you know things are getting interesting when the mayor of minneapolis sounds like baghdad bob

  6. St. Cloud: “Hold my beer”

    ST. CLOUD
    St. Cloud schools to add Somali immersion program, thought to be a first in the nation

  7. Three universities, a large-ish medical community and a whole bunch of Scandis… fish in a barrel, Blade 😉

  8. jdm on December 19, 2022 at 8:51 am said:
    ^ That brings up a good point, UMMP. You’re from Fridley. What did Bob from Fridley think about downtown Mpls? I mean, historically.

    Lots of head shops & record stores. Safe for white kids if you didn’t go too far from the UM campus.

  9. “Cities that see the most success post-pandemic won’t cling to the old ways that are now changed forever.”

    Yep, some leftist genius came up with that.

    The old ways have not “changed forever.” They’re still the old ways.

    This whole sentence goes into the Left’s delusion that history changes at their whim. Those old ways were what they were, and they’re not going to change no matter how much the Left might like. And in saner places than Mpls. those ways will continue.

    Now taking bets on whether this will have any effect other than shoveling money into the pockets of politically connected consultants.

  10. “Cities that see the most success post-pandemic won’t cling to the old ways that are now changed forever.”
    So, you’re telling me that Minneapolis’s resiliency office didn’t foresee pandemic + Floyd riots?
    I am not being entirely facetious. If you have major events like the pandemics & Floyd riots and they are not planned for because they are unpredictable, how can you plan on climate change? The appropriate response to climate change depends on socio-economic context which you cannot predict.

  11. It seems this is – as ever – an appropriate time to remind Frey and all the other Gods of the Marketplace acolytes that the Gods of Copybook Headings, ultimately, will not be mocked. From Kipling:

    As I pass through my incarnations in every age and race,
    I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market-Place.
    Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
    And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.

    We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
    That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
    But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
    So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

    We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
    Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place,
    But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
    That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.

    With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch.
    They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch.
    They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings.
    So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

    When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.
    They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
    But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
    And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “Stick to the Devil you know.”

    On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
    (Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
    Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
    And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “The Wages of Sin is Death.”

    In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
    By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
    But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
    And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: “If you don’t work you die.”

    Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew,
    And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
    That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four—
    And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.

    As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man—
    There are only four things certain since Social Progress began:—
    That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
    And the burnt Fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

    And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
    When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
    As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
    The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

  12. I must be terribly old school, since when I think of a sustainable downtown, I ask myself whether there are places I’d like to go, whether it’s safe, whether there’s available parking, whether it’s aesthetically pleasing, and the like. Introduce too many bums, thugs, and the window bars and locked bathrooms that accompany the same, and I’ll generally find another place to go.

    I guess the one thing that changed with COVID is “is downtown locked down so much that it’s not fun anymore”, but even that falls into the “is regulation basically sane?” category. Maybe, just maybe, the big problem with revitalizing our urban core is that people are getting “too smart for their own good”, or trying to do a Rube Goldberg machine and forgetting the whole thing was a joke.

  13. I was calling on customers on Snelling and 35th today. The oldest foundry in the city, Acme, closed down back in August. Today, I saw about six or seven tents in the open area on the north side of the foundry. A couple of them were tucked up against the wall of the building. I know that the heat from the furnaces used to seep through the bricks and they stayed warm, even in the coldest weather, but now that it’s shut down, not so much. Tent cities are the DemoCommie’s definition of “affordable housing”.

  14. I assume that this workgroup will studiously ignore the “experts” from the stores that have closed. Including them might damage the narrative.

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