VIP Level Thinking
By Mitch Berg
Joe Doakes from Como park emails:
CEO: “Alright everybody, settle down. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover. First up, the White House proposes a tax on oil company profits as a way to stop . . . let me quote . . . “despicable price gouging and exploitation.” Any suggestions?”
VP Sales: “Sir, I don’t understand. How does raising taxes on our company help consumers at the pump?”
VP Diversity: “Higher taxes raise money to give to women, trans, and persons of color.”
VP Human Resources: “We could cut employees’ salaries, bring down our cost, reduce the price of gas at the pump?”
VP Finance: “Wouldn’t help. ‘Profits’ are what’s leftover after paying salaries, we’d still be taxed.”
VP Labor Relations: “The union wants wage increases. That would reduce our profits, right? Pay less taxes?”
VP Finance: “Yes, but profits are how we pay dividends to stockholders. Eliminate the profits and our stock price falls, including the value of all our stock options.”
-silence-
CEO: “We can’t cut costs, we can’t increase costs, we need a creative solution. Think people, think. Say, is there any more coffee? You there, I’m afraid I don’t know your name. More coffee?”
New Hire Secretary: “Yessir, right away. Um, sir?”
CEO: “Yes?”
New Hire Secretary: “Couldn’t you just pass along the new taxes to the customer? I mean, so the price of gas goes up, so what? What are people going to do, sell their cars and buy electric?”
CEO: “Meeting adjourned. You, miss, come with me. And bring that coffee, we have a lot to talk about.”
Joe Doakes
Not quite “ripped from the headlines “. Or… Is it?
April 12th, 2022 at 9:13 am
I think this dialog is kinda silly because oil companies have been passing along tax increases to the customers for forever.
On a different but related note, what has changed, however, is the make up of the shareholders and what these groups are doing.
The holders of large blocks of shares, like hedge funds, pension funds and mutual funds, are becoming increasingly demanding about pushing oil companies in non-oil producing directions.
For example, “Exxon loses board seats to activist hedge fund in landmark climate vote”.
A tiny hedge fund [Engine No. 1] dealt a major blow to Exxon Mobil Corp on Wednesday, unseating at least two board members in a bid to force the company’s leadership to reckon with the risk of failing to adjust its business strategy to match global efforts to combat climate change.
Or this headline “Return-Focused Investors Are Starting to Notice the Politicization of Corporations”.
April 12th, 2022 at 11:01 am
jdm, this is a perfect example of turning away from capitalism to communism (not even soci@lism) and SHTFU and “eat your pablum and like it” economy. The libturds will only be satisfied when you are home, burning a candle (only on approved days), eating porridge and stale bread (only when you can get porridge) and taping the cracks in the windows to ward off the chill (if you have any windows left). No work, just goobernment handouts (to the worthy acolytes).
April 12th, 2022 at 12:18 pm
Oh, jpa, no need to stress your imagination as to what “they” might want for the rest of us. The actual models and theories and policies are being worked out and tested and improved at this very moment.
April 12th, 2022 at 4:41 pm
The Red Star has published an article regarding the historic inflation rate.
They’re proud that the >8% y’all are seeing is less than the national average; it’s #Winning, see? The 80 IQ leftist commentariat checked in and agree. They think Pedo Joe and your Governor are hanging ten and riding the tube. They all agree $4.00 milk is worth it to not have Orange Man Bad.
The reprobate cult would gladly drink Jonestown kool-aid if it meant Trump would die, too.