Compare And Contrast

By Mitch Berg

SCENE: It’s the studio at Minnesota Public Radio. MyLyssa SILBERMAN, reporter for National Public Radio’s Saint Paul bureau, covering the “Fake News” and “Diversity” beats, is guest-ghosting “MInnesota Insights”, a program of insights about Minnesota,. She is interviewing Gretel STROMBERG, Executive Director of “Minnesotans United for All Progressive Causes”.

SILBERMAN: So, big news in Los Angeles. The city is banning gasoline-powered leaf blowers. What’s your take on that, Gretel?

STROMBERG: (sounding audibly giddy). I could hardly be happier! That noise every fall just drives me crazy. And sturdies show that a leaf blower creates a biggest carbon footprint in an afternoon than a car driving from Minneapolis to Fresno.

SILBERMAN: Hmmm.

STROMBERG: But it’s also the fact that it’s just a horrible sound.

SILBERMAN: Oh, same for me!

STROMBERG (sounding like she’s trying to head off a faux pas), let me say that what I’m saying is from the perspective of a white woman of privilege…

SILBERMAN: Of course…

STROMBERG: Because white woman privilege is huge and powerful.

(Scene cuts to a community clinic in Coleraine, Minnesota, where Angela PULJUU, an LPN, is driving home from a 12 hour shift in an assisted living center)

PULJUU: Huh.

(Scene cuts to a tony home in Deephaven, facing Lake Minnetonka. Karen BERHEIM-WOLD, part-time realtor, ex-wife of a successful entrepreneur and current trophy wife of a bank CEO, is having a cup of Nespresson in her three season porch overlooking the lake)

BERHEIM-WOLD: That is so true.

(Scene cuts to a small farm in Goodhue County, where Janelle HELMBACHER is looking at price hikes in the meat aisle at the local grocery store)

HELMBACHER: What, now?

(Scene cuts to an opulent mansion in Chicago, where for whatever reason Oprah Winfrey is listening to the live stream)

WINFREY: Testify!

(Scene cuts to a school bus in South Saint Paul, where teachers aid Pauline SCZEPANSKI is wrangling a bunch of junior high kids who have gotten un-used to being around kids or following rules).

SCZEPANSKI: Huh.

And SCENE

(Production notes: This play in one act is based off a conversation over the weekend on NPR’s formerly-amusing comedy “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me”. Note that I didn’t say “loosely based” on”.

2 Responses to “Compare And Contrast”

  1. In The Mailbox: 11.08.21 : The Other McCain Says:

    […] “Threatens Freedom” Shot In The Dark: Privilege In Action, News You Can Use, and Compare & Contrast STUMP: On COVID, Excess Mortality By Race/Ethnicity, & Geographic Patterns The Political Hat: […]

  2. golfdoc50 Says:

    Nailed it Mitch. Although, like Will Rogers, you simply write down what progressives are talking about.

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