From: Mitch Berg, Gubernatorial Candidate, “No Government Subsidies To The Media” Party
Re: Your request.
After snorting coke from the bellybuttons of a bunch of filipina hookers, waking up under piles of U of M cheerleaders after booze-induced blackouts, and telling people I enjoyed Natural Born Killers, I had someone tell me to pull it all together.
Now – given the media’s history as self-appointed high priests of knowledge and newspaper reporters’ reputation for sucking the fumes from the corks of empty booze bottles, perhaps you could favor us with details on your reporters’ drinking habits? Y’know, so we can use it to judge your ability to cover the news?
Failure to repond will be considered a go-ahead to say anything we want about you.