Attention, Minneapolis Community Technical College

I’m Mitch Berg.  I’m a critic of your institution’s idea to evaluate installing – at taxpayer’s expense – a foot bath for Moslem students.

But here’s a question that might sway me.  Since washing feet – the feet of others, in this case – has a tradition in Christianity that was practiced by Christ himself, I’m wondering; would I, a Christian, be able to wash feet in this foot bath (following Christ’s example, I’d be washing the feet of others rather than my own – a typically-Christian model of self-abnegation, if you know what I mean [1])?

Of course, since the Constitution (as interpreted by the same people who require government workers to remove Christian holiday ornaments from their work spaces) forbids any taxpayer support of faith, I suppose we’re still out of luck, right?

Anyway – please get back to me on this.

[1] Except for the feet of “Nih[i]list in Golf Pants”, whose feet are reportedly not only exceedingly dainty, but apparently smell like lilacs even on the warmest day.

18 thoughts on “Attention, Minneapolis Community Technical College

  1. I’ll go one better.

    What’s to prevent me from taking advantage of a relaxing foot spa treatment after a long hard day on my feet? The foot bath would have to be an officially secular structure, right? Available to anyone?

    If I pull off my Redwings to cool off the dogs in state-owned water, can I be charged with a hate crime?

  2. I’m a bad person, because I’m immediately imagining all sorts of evil humorous possibilities about what would appear to many to be a very low, err, hung urinal.

  3. Piglet? You have a falling out with Miss Piggy?

    Like nude lesbian poetry slams, that joke just never gets old.

  4. Mixing your Milne with Henson could result in your getting “wind in the willows”, AC.

  5. There’s a devout Muslim in my place of employment who wears sandals most of the time and I could swear he washes his feet in the toilet — hey, did you say that Nihilist’s feet smell like Lileks?

  6. The reflexive xenophobia of guys like Dave in the Pits ensures that you wingnuts will always leave votes on the table at election time – from blacks, hispanics, middle easterners, asians, jews – that you might otherwise have a shot at. Better stick with the vote suppression!

    “Washes his feet in the toilet” – good one Dave!

  7. Uh, AC, not to get all nit-picky and factual on you about Muslims washing their feet in the toilets, but . . . that was common practice among Somali immigrants in Minnesota before the new lower sinks came along. You could fact-check it with several employers who had endless hassles with spilled water making the bathroom floors slippery and dangerous. On the other hand, they also had the cleanest toilets anywhere, so I guess there’s a silver lining to every cloud.

    .

  8. Funny you should mention that, nate. At your suggestion, Angryclown just called every employer listed in the Minneapolis business pages to fact-check your assertion. Every one of them said you are a half-wit.

  9. Xenophobia? No no, he is an American; always has been. Washing feet in the toilet isn’t a negative reflection on him, either. The situation is similar to what Nate describes. Our facilities crew does a great job of keeping the toilets nice and clean, which is a good thing under any circumstances. It’s just that he needs to wash his feet somewhere, and the sinks are kind of high, so his choices are limited.

    And I bet his feet smell better than anyone else’s here — though I wouldn’t want to check it myself.

  10. AC must indeed have mad phone skills to have called every Minneapolis employer in the six minutes between my post and his.

    Or maybe he was being sarcastic. Maybe he didn’t call anybody at all.

    Maybe he didn’t bother to check the facts because, let’s face it, actually knowing anything about the subject you’re snarking on is so tedious.

    Like AC’s posts in general. Not funny. Not clever. Just . . . tedious.

    .

  11. And it’s “nit-wit,” not “half-wit.”

    You could at least make an effort to get the story straight.

    .

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