False Equivalence

SCENE: Mitch BERG is looking for almond flour at a Cub Foods, when Cat SCAT, designated “fact checker” at the (possibly fictional) progressive blog “”MinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com“, and the office manager at a small phrenology practice, glomphs up from behind.

SCAT: Hah hah, Merg! People are removing racist statues from the Capitol grounds! That’s gotta make all you fat angry old white men wet your pants with rage!

BERG: (Beholding the red-faced, utterly Caucusoid and, shall we say “zaftig” SCAT, and silently contemplating and then thinking better of commenting). Yeah, it’s the mob showing the rest of the world that they don’t have to play by the rules.

SCAT: It’s no different than the fall of the Berlin Wall!

BERG: The…Berlin…Wall?

SCAT: Haha! Yes! Take that!

BERG: OK, let’s compare and contrast.

Columbus: Problematic but incidental figure, who wasn’t even the first European to come to North America – that was the Norwegians, five hundred years earlier – and who has had no affect other than symbolism on anyone in centuries, the un-personing of whom from history should be a cause for a critical discussion.

With me so far?

SCAT: Yeah! Evil white man!

BERG: Riiight. OK – the Berlin Wall: Not just a symbol of the contemporary division of Germany and the current subjugation of tens of millions of people to the bloodiest regime in history, but an actual current militarized barrier along which seventeen people had been murdered in the decade, and three in the year, before it was destroyed. The demolition of which was subject discussed thoroughly but quickly in the immediate aftermath of people on both sides of the wall deciding to jettison the Communism that had reigned in the East (the government that many of the statue-yankers are shilling for, interestingly enough), and, other than the massive “vandalism” of the wall after the Bornholmerstraße incident and the collapse of the DDR (which was one of the great images of my lifetime, but remarkably ineffective, leaving as it did a, well, wall through the middle of Berlin), was dealt via due process leading to its orderly and deliberate demolition, with remarkable worldwide unanimity, mourned by nobody that didn’t have hands still dripping with fresh blood.
Other than that? Same/same!

SCAT: So what about the alt-right taking over those six blocks in Seattle, and turning it into a slave plantation?

BERG: It’s “Anti”-Fa, and they turned it into an “Occupy” camp, only mixing in extortion with the rape and filth, and you’re changing the subject as well as lying about the substance of both subjects…

(But SCAT has already wandered away)

And SCENE

3 thoughts on “False Equivalence

  1. As always, great post Mitch! Always great to have a chuckle first thing in the morning. One thing irked me though, because it is true and utterly annoying. ‘So what about the alt-right taking over those six blocks in Seattle…’. There is an unfortunate kernel of truth in that a lot of folks actually believe it’s the alt-right causing most of the violence the past few weeks (white kids were seen burning buildings, must be alt-right!). I rarely go on Facebook, but was active on the Merriam Park Facebook group during the peak of the Minneapolis/St Paul ‘peaceful protests’ in order to stay up to date on the shenanigans and add my own reports. You wouldn’t believe how many folks were/still are convinced all of the trouble came by the hands of white nationalists. The Twin Cities leadership hasn’t really helped clarify during or since the end of the riots. I am no alt-right sympathizer, but you gotta set the records straight at some point…Rant over.

  2. Scat had to wander off. She needed to find someone else’s litter box to appropriate because hers was full and no one had come to empty it for her.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.