Science!
By Mitch Berg
King Walz the First angrily denounced right-wing kook websites speculating that the newest plan to placate the coronavirus involved sacrificing virgins.
“Nothing could be further from the truth,” he said. “Our plan is simply to have Joe Biden sniff their hair. It has been amply demonstrated that no person has died from coronavirus while having their hair sniffed by the President-Nearly-Elect. The plan has worked, works perfectly, continues to work, and anyone who questions or criticizes it is a science denier.”
King Walz did not specify how virgins would be selected, or their virginity verified, before being sent to the undisclosed location where Candidate Biden is in self-imposed quarantine with a small harem.
From the Capital, Joe Doskes, reporting.
In related news, the State of Minnesota Heath Economist neither confirmed nor denied that his office uses sheep entrails for “modeling”.
May 6th, 2020 at 5:13 am
In typical leftist fashion progressives have taken a perfectly honorable method of divination known as scrying and translated it into the language of the Marxist dialectic renaming it Modeling. What will they think of next.
May 6th, 2020 at 6:38 am
That’ll turn those dials.
May 6th, 2020 at 8:09 am
I’m of the age where I prefer to read for information as opposed to watching a video, but videos are the new norm, so… under the rubric of Science!, I present this link to a video titled, “Plandemic Documentary: The Hidden Agenda Behind Covid-19”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFPeN17PVU8.
I make no claims about the veracity and I’d be interested if anyone has info about this.
May 6th, 2020 at 9:40 am
^^ “I make no claims about the veracity”
No, of course you don’t ….
May 6th, 2020 at 10:04 am
I note the abundance of counterarguments.
May 6th, 2020 at 11:09 am
Plandemic = Pandumbic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcEnG7qxnLY
May 6th, 2020 at 11:34 am
Very convincing, but then the hammer-like humor of the Daily Show has always been a reliable fall-back for lefties when asked to make an argument. I see the Orange Man is still Bad.
May 6th, 2020 at 11:58 am
Extra gravy…
Saluting the Heroes of the Coronavirus Pandumbic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAh4uS4f78o
May 6th, 2020 at 11:59 am
I’ve heard it’s now president tang
May 6th, 2020 at 12:17 pm
The heavy hand of STiD moderation strikes again…
Dr. Fauci Dismisses COVID-19 Conspiracy Theories
https://www.biospace.com/article/fauci-dismisses-theory-that-covid-19-is-man-made-in-interview/
May 6th, 2020 at 3:07 pm
Sorry, Emery, but Fauci is being exposed as the fraud that he is.
https://spectator.org/the-20-solution-to-coronavirus-anecdotal-evidence-is-a-life-saver/
https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2020/03/19/chloroquine-known-as-effective-against-coronavirus-since-2005/
May 6th, 2020 at 3:08 pm
Ah, well, never mind: “This video has been removed for violating You Tube’s Community Guidelines”. I’m sure it’s in our own best interests.
May 6th, 2020 at 3:40 pm
Fauci, the guy who denies the bat flu was engineered in a lab in China, was Obama’s point man for outsourcing research on the bat flu to a lab in China.
No, not The Onion. Newsweek. Last week.
https://www.newsweek.com/dr-fauci-backed-controversial-wuhan-lab-millions-us-dollars-risky-coronavirus-research-1500741
But as The Big E points out, Fauci denies it now, so it’s all better.
May 6th, 2020 at 6:56 pm
Since Covid-19 attacks mostly the old and disproportionately men, it’s obvious to me that it was designed by an angry young feminist who also rails at inter-generational inequalities.