Science!

King Walz the First angrily denounced right-wing kook websites speculating that the newest plan to placate the coronavirus involved sacrificing virgins.

“Nothing could be further from the truth,” he said. “Our plan is simply to have Joe Biden sniff their hair. It has been amply demonstrated that no person has died from coronavirus while having their hair sniffed by the President-Nearly-Elect. The plan has worked, works perfectly, continues to work, and anyone who questions or criticizes it is a science denier.”

King Walz did not specify how virgins would be selected, or their virginity verified, before being sent to the undisclosed location where Candidate Biden is in self-imposed quarantine with a small harem.

From the Capital, Joe Doskes, reporting.

In related news, the State of Minnesota Heath Economist neither confirmed nor denied that his office uses sheep entrails for “modeling”.

14 thoughts on “Science!

  1. In typical leftist fashion progressives have taken a perfectly honorable method of divination known as scrying and translated it into the language of the Marxist dialectic renaming it Modeling. What will they think of next.

  2. I’m of the age where I prefer to read for information as opposed to watching a video, but videos are the new norm, so… under the rubric of Science!, I present this link to a video titled, “Plandemic Documentary: The Hidden Agenda Behind Covid-19”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFPeN17PVU8.

    I make no claims about the veracity and I’d be interested if anyone has info about this.

  3. ^^ “I make no claims about the veracity”

    No, of course you don’t ….

  4. Very convincing, but then the hammer-like humor of the Daily Show has always been a reliable fall-back for lefties when asked to make an argument. I see the Orange Man is still Bad.

  5. Ah, well, never mind: “This video has been removed for violating You Tube’s Community Guidelines”. I’m sure it’s in our own best interests.

  6. Since Covid-19 attacks mostly the old and disproportionately men, it’s obvious to me that it was designed by an angry young feminist who also rails at inter-generational inequalities.

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