All The Same

SCENE: Mitch BERG is walking out of a Ukrainian sausage shop in Northeast Minneapolis when he notes Avery LIBRELLE, wearing matching “Meat is Murder” hat, T-Shirt, and carrying a matching sign, beginning to picket the store. BERG tries to tiptoe back inside, but LIBRELLE notices him.


BERG: Er, hey, Avery. What brings you… (But LIBRELLE interrupts)

LIBRELLE: The presence of those guns in that church in Tennesee…

BERG: Texas

LIBRELLE: Tomayto tomahto. The presence of guns in that peckerwood church made the murders possible.

BERG: So let me get this straight…

LIBRELLE: Inclusivity!

BERG: Sure fine – look, almost nobody makes the jump from “clean criminal record” to “mass murderer”, and even less so “street criminal”, without some kind of warning sign.

But we’re dodging the point here. Society really has two options:

  1. Disarm the law-abiding, Which leaves only those who don’t bother following the law with guns.
  2. Let the law-abiding exercise their right to defend themselves.

LIBRELLE: Option three – take away all the guns.

BERG: Er, yeah – in a society of 320 million people, with 100 million gun owners and probably 200 million guns, you won’t get ’em all, and a ban will do for guns what prohibition did for booze, pot and cocaine. So we’re back to two options: disarm the law abiding, or recognize their right to defend themselves.

LIBRELLE: Nope. If you disarm the so-called “law-abiding”, you’ll get rid of all guns.

BERG: (Sounding tired) Huh. Do tell.

LIBRELLE: Every criminal was once a so-called “law biding citizen”. So if you disarm them, eventually criminals will be disarmed.

BERG: Huh. Hey, look – that guy is wearing a “Carnivores for Trump” cap!

LIBRELLE: (Frantically looks for cap) Where? Where?

(But BERG has already made his escape)


1 thought on “All The Same

  1. Avery may be ignorant, arrogant and intolerant but what does any of that matter when one cares?

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.