SCENE: Mitch BERG, driving down Larpenteur Avenue, is behind a Subaru. The Subaru, coated in liberal campaign stickers dating back to when the car was new (Wellstone’s first re-election campaign), suddenly blows a tire. It tries to drive for a block or two on the flapping flat until it pulls over
BERG pulls over behind it and gets out to offer help…
…and is visibly dismayed to see Cat SCAT, designated “fact checker” at progressive blog “”MinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com“, and office manager at a small phrenology practice, clamber out of the malfunctioning door.
SCAT: Merg! There is going to be an epidemic of white right-wing male violence!
BERG: Yeah, Big Left has been warning us about that for a long, long time. In the meantime, while we wait, and wait, and wait for that to happen, all the actual violence is coming from the left. James Hodgkinson, the murder of Brooks Jennings, Floyd Corkins and his attack on the Family Research Council, the various “Anti”-Fa thugs and their attacks, the assaults on Sarah Anderson and Shane Mekeland, and a long, long list of other attacks.
SCAT: Yeah, but you’ve got people on the right calling for violenbce!
BERG: Such as?
SCAT: Ted Nugent!
BERG: A man whose commercial peak was 40 years ago, whose peak infliuence as a pundit was 25 years ago, and who was cashiered from the leadership of the NRA for being a loose cannon.
SCAT: You conveniently omit Lester Crrunkins!
BERG: Who in the flaming hootie-hoo is Lester Crunkins?
SCAT: He’s a prominent Republican Party official who called for the violent establishmebt of a white homeland!
BERG: And where’s he from?
BERG: He’s from a town in western Oklahoma, he was the only person who showed up at the convention so he elected himself chair, and he’s been castigated by his county and state parties. And that’s only after they found out who he was in the first place, since the only reason anyone knows who he was was the media flocking to report on a “prominent” Republican calling for violence.
Which is intended to draw attention away from the likes of Maxine Waters and the other Democrats calling for violence – which is what I call “Berg’s Seventh Law”, by the way.
SCAT: (Winds up to try to punch BERG. Swings. BERG dodges the punch easily and steps back). :
SCAT: (Winded) . That was self-defense!
BERG: Of course it was…