Thoroughly Modern
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: Mitch BERG is waiting for the train at University and Hamline.
Suddenly, a group of 20 through 60-something women with protest signs and pink “feline” caps rushes across the street, waving signs and chanting chants. One of them is Moonbeam BIRKENSTOCK, a twenty-something graduate of Saint Olaf, and of Camp Wellstone. She works as a telemarketer for “Minnesotans United for All Progressive Causes”.
She notices BERG.
BIRKENSTOCK (Loudly, aggressively): Merg!
BERG: Um, hi, Moonbeam…
BIRKENSTOCK: Women are strong! We are invincible! A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle! We will eclipse masculinity! We will smash the patriarchy!
BERG: Huh. So women who make any sort of claim of abuse…
BIRKENSTOCK: Must be believed without question or reservation!
BERG: Huh. You don’t think that’s already a big contradic…
(But BIRKENSTOCK has already run down the platform, joining a mob stomping on a roll of MEN-tos.
BERG: Huh.
(And SCENE)
October 10th, 2018 at 8:51 am
“You cannot be civil with a political party that wants to destroy what you stand for, what you care about,” Hillary Clinton 10/9/18
Hillary believes herself to be the leader of the Democrat party and as their leader she intends to keep spreading the “good news” to the faithful (@ $288/ticket):
https://www.nationalreview.com/news/clintons-launch-speaking-tour-to-provide-insight-into-where-we-go-from-here/
Maybe they’ll come to the TC
expect to see spikes in violence in the 13 cities on their list
October 10th, 2018 at 9:40 am
Whenever Moonbeam makes an appearance, I always hear Morgan Q.E. Wolff-Slattery’s voice.
October 10th, 2018 at 9:41 am
Bill and Hillary are charging $288/ticket to suppress the attendance of minorities and women.
October 10th, 2018 at 9:42 am
“You cannot be civil with a political party that wants to destroy what you stand for, what you care about”
Well there it is. Cankles and I agree on something.
October 10th, 2018 at 9:43 am
Greg, word on the street is that Bill demands free admittance for women between the ages of 13-21 that wear short skirts or yoga pants without panties.
October 10th, 2018 at 11:32 am
Swifee, THAT’S FAKE NEWS.
It is Hillary who demands free admittance for women between the ages of 13-21 that wear short skirts or yoga pants without panties.
🙂 🙂 🙂
October 10th, 2018 at 1:25 pm
AKA, why SJWs arent worth it no matter how attractive they are.
October 10th, 2018 at 1:28 pm
PB, shes more interested in leading the Resistance, the Democratic party might actually still have some morals and values. The Resistance already has zero.
October 10th, 2018 at 2:08 pm
well reasoned arguments of the #Resistance:
https://www.facebook.com/rondwyersettingtherecordstraight/videos/2198721113708642/
October 10th, 2018 at 2:20 pm
Stuart Smalley is coaching Hillary through her daily affirmations, helping her move on from “It’s my turn” to “Darn it, I’m still relevant!”
I have to imagine that the upcoming Bill & Hillary (or Hillary & Bill) road show is going to go a lot like the Spinal Tap “Smell the Glove” tour.
October 10th, 2018 at 3:00 pm
NW, well it certainly cant be people like her. Im not sure shes ever been liked, by anyone, ever. Even old Secret Service detail stories about what a raging bitch she was in the mid 90s. Even if she probably was running thing when Bill was off getting his winkey whacked (lord knows she wasnt doing it). Its a wonder what Bill saw in her back in the day.
October 10th, 2018 at 3:03 pm
Also if the movie Pimary Colors is any indication, she probably physically assaulted Bill on a regular basis. If you dont know what Im talking about see the damn movie.
October 10th, 2018 at 4:19 pm
And in related news, Eric Holder urges liberals to “go low” to recover our shared heritage. You just can’t make this “San Francisco” up.