If You Think Movies Are Expensive Now, Wait Until They’re Free

MoviePass is a particularly dimwitted startup – it sells, basically, transit cards to movies, in theaters, allowing people admittance to movies per month, which in the age of Netflix and Hulu seems a bit like selling season tickets to Jesse Ventura’s old Indoor Football league.

As one might expect, the company – which seems a throwback to the sort of startups that glutted the market and popular culture during the DotBomb era, before 9/11 – is teetering on the brink of bankruptcy.

Which has led to one of the most brilliant – dare I say, Onion-like – bits of satire I’ve ever read:

We should let the privately owned MoviePass die, so a nationalized, public MoviePass can live.

Read the whole hilarious thing.

I’m already picturing Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or Amy Klobuchar or Maxine Waters or Ilhan Omar solemnly testifying before Congress about the moral imperative for the Federal Government…

…to transfer tax dollars to Hollywood.

Brilliant, brilliant satire.

UPDATE:   It just occured to me – what if the writer wasn’t being satirical?



5 thoughts on “If You Think Movies Are Expensive Now, Wait Until They’re Free

  1. Sidenote: Im on the AMC Stubs: A-list where for $19.95 a month I can see up to 3 movies a week on any screen, at any time, in any AMC theater in THE COUNTRY. This is killing MoviePass, free market capitalism. Which that idiot clearly wasnt taught about even though she supposedly has a economics degree.

  2. I just read the article and was unsure if it was satire. So, I clicked about, and I’m still unsure. The staff makes me think it might be actual opinion, as did a couple of other articles.

    If its all satire, they are taking it to a new level.

  3. Pingback: In The Mailbox: 08.01.18 : The Other McCain

  4. As ridiculous as this article was, a creeping realization while reading was “we already do this with sports”. We can be such suckers.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.