Joe Doakes from Como Park emails:
Story 1:
Some guy riding a bicycle in downtown Minneapolis at 11:30 at night. Blows a red light, collided with a motorcycle and was struck by a car.
Plainly, the drivers of the motorcycle and car, being wanton spewers of carbon dioxide poisoning our Mother the Earth, were at fault for failing to recognize the moral superiority of the bicycle rider and to acknowledge his right to disregard the traffic laws governing lesser mortals
Story 2:
Some gal riding a bicycle in Stillwater weaves around the barrier and falls into the river when the lift bridge began to rise.
Plainly, the bridge operator and the pilot of the boat for whom the bridge was opening, being wanton spewers of carbon dioxide poisoning our Mother the Earth, were at fault for failing to recognize the moral superiority of the bicycle rider and to acknowledge her right to disregard traffic laws governing lesser mortals.
Plainly, there is a crisis in Minnesota. When will Governor Dayton act?? When??
As biking has become more popular (especially in places like the Twin Cities, were perverse incentives drive a lot of people to bikes), it’s axiomatic that a lot of those new people will not know what they’re doing.
having “moral superiority” means “The Force is With You”
Point of order — the bike vs. bridge incident didn’t take place in Stillwater, but rather in Menasha, Wisconsin, near my old stomping grounds. You’ll be shocked to learn that alcohol was involved.
Darwin was a fascist.
Mr. D;
You’ve got to be kidding me! Alcohol involved in that bicycle vs draw bridge incident?! 😂
We must ban all alcohol immediately!
No, bosshoss429, we should not ban alcohol because of this incident – only hard-liquor (even if it is proven that only beer was involved) because hard-liquor is the assault-weapon of liquor.
Or is wine the assault-weapon of liquor? It is all so confusing and the media really doesn’t help us out on this stuff. But if so, they should ban that too.
I mean, what could go wrong with banning liquor?
I would guess that some sort of intoxicant might have been involved in the other case, too. Not that bicyclists don’t occasionally do incredibly dumb things, but as a rule, darting across busy intersections without the right of way is not among them.
Also, a fair proportion of people who end up commuting on their bicycles do so because of DUI convictions, which makes the issue of drunken/stoned cyclists quite a bit worse. When I lived in Waseca, at least one person expressed surprise that I rode my bike to work without getting such a conviction. No kidding.
But Greg, beer is the “gateway” beverage that entices innocent youngers into the alcohol culture and sends them down the road to a life of drunken stupor. First beer, then Sloe Gin, Rum Chata, next thing you know, Old Crow out of the bottle and from there, it’s only one small stagger to drinking Thunderbird from a brown paper bag while lying in the gutter.
Remember those movies warning you about Mary Jane and Reefer, how taking a single toke meant you’d end up a sex slave in an opium den? Gateway drug. Can’t take any chances. Ban ’em. Ban ’em all.
Ah, my high school days, I remember them fondly.
Vaping is the gateway to drinking Kambucha.
Obviously Minnesota needs biking under the influence laws.
Jay Dee, already there, same law as for motor vehicle operators.