It’s Satire…

for now.  And, truth be told, will probably always stay that way.

After years of publishing distorted headlines, slanted news articles, and heavily biased news coverage, media giant CNN announced Friday that it has decided to launch a spinoff site that focuses on real news comprised of objective facts.

Dubbed “CNN: Real,” the site is designed to bring the news media empire into the arena of publishing real news, a step away from its roots as a channel that covers entirely fabricated stories and shamelessly spins all news into liberal talking points.

Up next – a spinoff Strib that isn’t a glorified DFL PR firm.

7 thoughts on “It’s Satire…

  1. I am not sure why this is needed. For object, nonpartisan news, I watch NEWSHOUR and listen to NPR/MPR.

    heh-heh-heh..bah-ha-ha BRAH-HA-HA-HA

    [wiping tears from eyes]

    That made my day.

  2. I haven’t been to the CNN website for a long time, but yesterday I was looking for an update on the van attack in Toronto, to see if there was news of a motive. I was surprised at the amount of fluff filling the page – and that there wasn’t even a mention of Toronto. So I went over The Guardian; I can usually rely on the Brits for news. All the Guardian had was an article describing the van driver as a hateful member of the alt-right “Incel” (Involuntarily Celibate) sub-group.

    I weep.

  3. I’m glad the Incel movement finally is getting attention. For years, I’ve been advancing the “put out” theory but nobody has been listening. It’s time to take a closer look.

    Mass killers such as those at Columbine, Virginia Tech, the Charleston church and the recent Florida shooter all have one thing in common: they can’t get chicks. Girls snub them, saying “Eewww, get away from me, you freak.” This leads to festering resentment and that results in mass murder.

    Anti-bullying programs are ineffective because they focus on the wrong issue. Nerds don’t mind getting stuffed in lockers by burly jocks, that’s just a natural part of ordinary life. But nerds hate being humiliated by girls, especially pretty ones they have a secret crush on. Involuntary celibacy is bad enough; involuntary celibacy coupled with humiliation is intolerable.

    Plainly, the solution is a mandatory program for hot girls to put out more. I can’t understand why this solution hasn’t received more attention.

  4. Either that, or buy each of these kids a magazine and let ’em do the Joycelyn Elders?

    Seriously, the level of reporting these days is just horrible. I think about a third of my posts on my own humble blog are “how did the reporters miss this aspect of this story?”.

  5. While MSNBC is a growing and increasingly credible source, when I want precise expert scatomancy I always go to CNN.

  6. Bikebubba, it used to be that the nerds that couldn’t get chicks would turn their enegies and attention to creating computers and writing software, and becoming billionaires and Chief Information Officers to get chicks. The cultural understanding was that if it didn’t come easy, you had to earn it. Now those guys are surrounded by magazines and on-line porn (on the systems and devices invented by their predecessors) and they think everyone is getting some but them, and their creative energies are turned to an internal loop and a very dark place.

  7. because both China and India have a social bias that selects male babies for birth and female babies for abortion those 2 countries now have a severe and growing problem that doesn’t lend itself to easy answers. Both countries have a current emerging generation with approximately 35 million more men than women which means that nearly 70 million men will have no opportunity to have a wife, a family, or even sex on any regular basis. Cynics call them the Cannon Fodder Generation .

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