To: National Rifle Association
From: Mitch Berg, devious peasant
Re: David “Boss” Hogg
You need to pay any price, bear any burden, to get David Hogg a TV show. Perhaps on Fox News.
You’ll have a supermajority in favor of the post-Heller interpretation of the Second Amendment for the next two generations.
With rhetoric like this:
“The pathetic f***ers that want to keep killing our children, they could have blood from children splattered all over their faces and they wouldn’t take action because they all still see those dollar signs,” Hogg said before describing the “exhaustion” he’s experienced as a result of his month-long stint as a political activist.
“At this point its like when your old-a** parent is like, ‘I don’t know how to send an iMessage’ and you’re like, ‘Ok give me the f***ing phone’ and you take it and you get it done in one second. Sadly, that’s what we have to do with our government because our parents don’t know how to use a f***ing democracy so we have to do it.”
Prime time cable network nightly show. Now.
Maybe have John Paul Stevens for his first guest.