Shot in the Dark

News Conferences I’d Love To See. And Participate In.

SCENE:   Press conference where a Free Speech Rally is being announced for the Minnesota state capitol grounds.   A group of reporters is questioning the organizers of the rally – Madison JAMES, Tyrone JEFFERSON, and Jorge WASHINGTON.

WASHINGTON:   …So to sum up, we will hold our Free Speech rally at precisely noon.  We have our permit, and we are ready to stand up for the free speech rights of all Minnesotans and all Americans.

JEFFERSON:  Even those we don’t agree with.

JAMES:  We’ll now take questions.   (Sees hands rising, points to a sallow endomorph in his late forties with severe acne).  Yes.

REPORTER 1:  I’m Edmund DuChey, from “MinnesotaLiberalAlliance.Blogspot.com”.  So your rally of Nazis and White Supremacists…

WASHINGTON:  Yeah, you can stop right there.  As noted before, this rally specifically denounces the American Nazi Party, the Ku Klux Klan, and everyone who would actively curtail the rights of others based on their ethnicity, religion or anything else.

JAMES:  And we’ve specifically disinvited them from the rally, and are ready to enforce that.

JAMES:  Next question.

REPORTER 2:  Walter Lennon-Marks from Minnesota Public Radio.  I notice that you have not disinvited people who plan on carrying firearms, concealed or openly, from the rally.

JEFFERSON:  That’s correct.

LENNON-MARKS:  Don’t you find that intimidates other speech?

WASHINGTON:  I find that it most definitely intimidates those who would threaten our rally with violence like “Anti”-Fa did in San Francisco.

JEFFERSON:  Or those who would act on those threats, as “Anti”-Fa did in Boston, and clearly plan to elsewhere.    Inducing them to keep their speech non-violent is a feature, not a bug.

JAMES:  Next question?

REPORTER 3:   Yes – Yvette Stahlen from the Star Tribune.  Why do all three of you make the scare quotes with your fingers whenever you say the “anti” in “Antifa?”

WASHINGTON:  Because they are “against fascism” in exactly the same way the Bloods are against the Crips, or the Gambinos were “against” the Luccheses.   These are two sides of the same noxious, anti-democratic, anti-freedom, pro-totalitarian coin.

STAHLEN:  But my editors’ oldest daughter is a member of Antifa, and has been ever since zhe graduated from Oberlin.

WASHINGTON:   (Walks down from the stage with a microphone, hands it to STAHLEN).  Here.

STAHLEN:  What do you want me to do with this.

WASHINGON:  Drop it for me.  I couldn’t possibly have ended this better than you did.

(And SCENE)

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10 responses to “News Conferences I’d Love To See. And Participate In.”

  1. Penigma Avatar
    Penigma

    You are kidding, right? Tyrone and Jorge, what exactly are you trying to convey? Exactly. Code speak much?

    Also, so where is your evidence that “Antifa” = violent anarchists, one for one, or even ten for one exactly?

    Here’s a difference between right-wing extremists and their apologists (like you), and left-wing extremists.

    What the anarchists did in SF was DEAD WRONG. No excuses, no ifs, no ands, no buts. In fact, what they did degrades us all, all Americans, because it destroys the idea of resolving differences openly and peacefully. They were not seeking peace, like the people who organized the rally sought. They were seeking to be the same sorts of bullies which make up the KKK, well, I guess outside the institutional bigotry the KKK embraced and employed all over the south, or the hanging of minorities… but I digress… Their actions ARE 100% the opposite of what I believe. Care to say the same, Mitch, openly? Care to condemn the Charlottesville Friday night protests where people were shouting “Blood and Soil” and carrying torches reminiscent of past atrocities perpetrated by the KKK?

  2. Alt-Good Swiftee Avatar
    Alt-Good Swiftee

    When the wheels fall off the “Save us from teh Natzeez!” , do you think the reprobates will try and go back to “Save us from teh Rushinz!” campaign?

    They have not let up on white America an inch, in fact they’ve upped the rhetoric if anything; I smell a yuge backlash in the making. I am convinced the people that came out to vote for Trump will return, like the swallows to Capistrano, to vote for pro-MAGA, pro-wall candidates. If for nothing else but to shut down the delicate, mask wearing ectomorphs that have taken the streets of white majority, leftist cities (notice they never protest in Detroit or Boston?).

    That is, if Trump stand firm on his promise to shut the government down unless he gets his wall money. If he blinks, all bets are off.

  3. justplainangry Avatar
    justplainangry

    (notice they never protest in Detroit or Boston?).

    Not in Boston? Really? How soon you forget.

  4. Alt-Good Swiftee Avatar
    Alt-Good Swiftee

    Meant to say Baltimore, JPA. I’m talking about the SJW’s that show up to throw human waste around, not the black wards of the state that come to burn cars, loot liquor stores and weave shops.

  5. Joe Doakes Avatar
    Joe Doakes

    Some people are happy to denounce the fascists after the fact, after they beat up people exercising their constitutionally protected rights, after the cops pulled back and let them do it for the third time in a row. One wonders how that keeps happening in a city controlled by Democrats?

  6. Mitch Berg Avatar
    Mitch Berg

    Pen,

    Code speak much?

    What on earth are you trying to say, here?

    so where is your evidence that “Antifa” = violent anarchists

    They’re not anarchists. They’re Marxists.

    Their actions ARE 100% the opposite of what I believe. Care to say the same, Mitch, openly? Care to condemn the Charlottesville Friday night protests where people were shouting “Blood and Soil”

    When did I stop beating my wife, in other words?

    I need condemn them no more than I need condemn cockroaches or leaky sewer pipes. My forefathers spent the best years of their lives fighting for a world where people could hold them in that esteem and no more; they wiped them and their ideology from the face of the earth. Treating them as ideological cockroaches, moral sewage, and no better is all they deserve.

    Actual American Nazis are a bunch of droopy, pathetic losers. I give them what they deserve; I mock them, I taunt them, I point out (correctly) that there are bowling leagues with more members and political clout than the NSWPP of America has. I welcome them to the marketplace of ideas, and point out with derisive glee that they keep getting recalled.

    Wasting the energy it takes to “condemn” them or their excrescences gives them more power than they deserve.

    And, all due respect, being nagged into a theatrical “condemnation” of people and ideas worthless enough to scrape off my shoes gives you more power than you’ve earned.

  7. Mitch Berg Avatar
    Mitch Berg

    Pen,

    I’ll also point out – correctly – that the NSWPP of America and similar groups, along with the Klan, have a fraction of the members they had thirty years ago – when they went through a brief surge that still left them with a fraction of the members and power they’d had in the sixties, which was in turn a small slice of the power they’d had before the war.

    I’m going to suggest to you that were it not for the Democrats and Media’s (ptr) efforts to make them matter again, they’d have continued their fifty-year-long slide to palookaville.

    So while I regard the Nazis and “White Supremacists” as no more than dog crap on my shoe, I do condemn the media and Big Left, who, to have a rhetorical club to go after Trump and the GOP, basically gave them a prominence they haven’t had since the eighties.

  8. Mitch Berg Avatar
    Mitch Berg

    Finally, Pen?

    I condemn “Anti”-Fa because, unlike the Nazis, they do have power. They are the children, literally, of the elite of America’s Big Left. Literally; Linwood Kain, son of Hillary’s Veep nominee, was arrested at with six of his “Anti”-Fa snowflake pals attacking a peaceful and unprepared Republican rally at the Capitol. These are not schlubby losers from the far fringes of society; they are grads of “elite” universities, children of middle-to-upper-middle-class families with actual clout. And there are likely more “Anti”-Fa and active sympathizers at any given rally than there are “Nazis”, “Klansmen” and the like anywhere in the US.

  9. Alt-Good Swiftee Avatar
    Alt-Good Swiftee

    I wonder. How am I going to explain what happened in San Francisco and Berkely to the children ? How do I tell them about Antifa, BLM and the SPLC? How can I twll them such people live in the United States in the current year without crushing their souls?

    https://www.minnpost.com/education/2017/08/school-year-approaches-twin-cities-teachers-grapple-how-talk-about-charlottesville

  10. bikebubba Avatar
    bikebubba

    so where is your evidence that “Antifa” = violent anarchists

    Penigma, I take it you haven’t been reading the papers or watching the evening news for the past half-decade or so, then? Exactly what are we to conclude when large portions of cities have been inundated with pepper spray and tear gas when “antifa” and “occupy” crowds come to town?

    Give you a hint, buddy; no pepper spray or tear gas was ever deployed at a Tea Party rally. The fact that the riot gear is coming out says something about who’s there with “antifa”, and if you’re going to claim that liberal big city mayors are deliberately embarrassing a group which is clearly on the left for no good reason….can I have some of what you’ve been smoking, because clearly it’s good stuff?

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