You Expected Precisely What?
By Mitch Berg
SCENE: Mitch BERG is in his garage, puttering with his snowblower.
Avery LIBRELLE walks into the garage, drinking a bottle of kombucha.
BERG: Uh, hey, Avery. To what do I owe the…
LIBRELLE: I needed a place to throw the empty bottle. Hey – Trump was elected by the Russians!
BERG: Well, it seems that the Russians were trying to do something about our elections, via propaganda, and perhaps online skulduggery.
LIBRELLE: It just proves that Trump was not legitimate.
BERG: Well, I’m sure the DNC hopes people believe that. But there’s no evidence they were doing it to benefit Trump, specifically. More to generate chaos. Putin is a former KGB guy.
LIBRELLE: Don’t give me your crazy acronyms. That’s racist.
BERG: Whatever. Intelligence people use chaos as a tool; out of chaos comes opportunity. If an American government needs to use its poltiical capital fighting internal questions about its legitimacy – which seems to be Putin’s goal, and seems to be working so far, at least among our chattering classses – then it’s less likely to be able to intervene in Syria, or take serious action re ISIS, or marshal any political will to protect Ukraine, Latvia, Lithuania or Estonia.
LIBRELLE: Bla bla bla. America’s intelligence agencies say it’s a smoking gun!
BERG: A smoking what?
LIBRELLE: Oops. A smoking microaggression.
BERG: No, they don’t.
(But LIBRELLE has already scampered away, leaving the empty kombucha bottle on BERG’s garage shelf).
(And SCENE)
December 13th, 2016 at 11:32 am
“Don’t give me your crazy acronyms. That’s racist.”
Heh!
December 13th, 2016 at 1:00 pm
I just tried kombucha last week for the first time. Smells like dirty socks; tastes like toe fungus.
I bet Governor Kombucha’s breath would knock a fly off a turd by now.
December 13th, 2016 at 1:10 pm
I’ve been having a little trouble understanding the Liberal analysis of how Russia stole our election.
From what I understand, Russia hacked into computers owned by the Democrat and Republican parties, but not the actual voting machines. So it’s not ‘direct’ tampering with the election results, it’s – at best – indirect.
Russia released no juicy information from Republican computers. This might be because they wanted Republicans to win, or it might because the Republican computers had nothing juicy on them (either because they’re naturally less interesting people or because they have better sense than to write down incriminating evidence). Can’t see how that helps Republicans win the election, we already knew they were boring.
Russia released information from Democrat computers but it wasn’t juicy at all, according to Democrats. Routine emails, boring stuff, nothing to see there, move along. Can’t see how releasing boring information helps Republicans win.
Top intelligence agencies disagree on the motive for releasing Democrat information, if the Russians even did it, which the White House seems to deny, pointing the finger at China.
And now RINOs McCain and Graham want to join with Democrats in scrutinizing the election some more, helping to erode confidence in the electoral system and exacerbate divisions in an already divided country.
Talk about causing chaos. If Putin’s team didn’t do it, he must be livid with envy at whoever did.
December 13th, 2016 at 1:38 pm
Comey, racists, fake news, Russian hackers. With so many forces arrayed against Clinton it’s a wonder she did so well. A real testament to her quality as a candidate. Clinton 2020. ;^)
December 13th, 2016 at 1:47 pm
Podesta: The Russians sabotaged our campaign.
America: How?
Podesta: By showing voters who we really are.
December 13th, 2016 at 1:49 pm
Is this supposed to be funny?
http://dp8hsntg6do36.cloudfront.net/584f2f2dfd2e61446a000016/bb9f2ab2-49eb-4e96-98fc-59465d587475low.webm
Whether it is or not, it has got be embarrassing for the Left. “This is not a conspiracy theory!”
December 13th, 2016 at 2:08 pm
I read a post today by Scott Johnson at PL with a 6 1/2 minute video by Keith Olbermann. Keith, the Dems and the whole progressive bunch are completely schizo!!
December 13th, 2016 at 2:26 pm
It’s the Democrat version of InfoWars, right?
December 13th, 2016 at 2:32 pm
LMAO! Olberman is completely unhinged. Did you see his hands shake?
December 13th, 2016 at 2:43 pm
Can we call dp8hsntg6do36.cloudfront.net the bottom of the barrel?
December 13th, 2016 at 2:46 pm
They need a catchy jingle:
Type For all the news that is really not junk type dp8, hsn, tg6do – 36
December 13th, 2016 at 2:55 pm
Swiftee, I think it was around the 4 min mark or so when he started pounding on the table that I thought for sure Keith’s head was going to explode! Probably wishful thinking…sigh
December 13th, 2016 at 3:04 pm
Best thing I confirmed from Podesta’s emails…
That the Democrat Party Leadership also thought Chelsea Clinton was a sperm lucky moron.Have to wonder if the exec at NBCNews who paid her 750K was hailed as a hero for getting prime access to the Clinton Syndicate or a goat for wasting 750 large for three reports?
December 13th, 2016 at 3:19 pm
Emery on December 13, 2016 at 2:26 pm said:
It’s the Democrat version of InfoWars, right?
Emery, it is my contention that the Left equivalent of fringe figures on the right are respected voices on the Left, and not fringe figures. Jon Stewart is a comedian. Olbermann is a sportscaster. The figure on the right whose rhetoric most closely matches Paul Krugman is self described shock-jock Michael Savage.
Savage is so far out there he calls GW Bush and Dick Cheney traitors. Alex Jones thinks Bush ordered 9/11.
December 13th, 2016 at 3:48 pm
Loved the Olberman bit, though I couldn’t take all of it. It resembles little so much as the “conspiracy talk radio” I’d occasionally listen to when I lived in Colorado with gold bugs and people warning of the Bilderbergers. The guy is an older version of the kid calling the dial-a-porn line in Aerosmith’s “Sweet Emotion” video, really.
December 13th, 2016 at 3:49 pm
10 years ago, Julian Assange blogged that he could disrupt American politics by releasing hacked, boring information about the two major political parties. The one that would become paranoid and stop all types of communication because of leaked information would, in his opinion, be the most corrupt, and also end up in a losing spiral. (Because it would be the party that would know that there was much worse out there to be leaked).
December 13th, 2016 at 3:54 pm
I have this image in my head where some senior official from the Intelligence Community sits down in front of Trump and his team and says:
“There are two things I know to be true. There is no difference between good flan and bad flan and …”
https://youtu.be/Rh-Samvut-E