Shot in the Dark

Rumor Mill

To: Betsy Hodges, mayor, Minneapolis.

From: Mitch Berg, ornery peasant

Re: Rumors

Mayor Hodges,

Over the weekend, the rumor mill announced that you had told a gathering somewhere in Minneapolis you were planning on holding a “gun buyback”.

Please, please please please please please, oh please, please please please please please, I beg of you; go ahead with it.

You simply have to. I beg of you, with all my heart.

That is all.

UPDATE:  Rumor mill says it’ll be held August 27 at thePillsbury United Communities, or somewhere in that vicinity.

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Comments

10 responses to “Rumor Mill”

  1. princetrumpet Avatar
    princetrumpet

    They always have the answer, don’t they?

  2. swiftee Avatar
    swiftee

    Buyback time? Oh hell yeah! I’ll collect every busted shotgun, rifle and rusty old pistol I can lay my hands on and head on up there. I’ll use Minneapolis’ money to buy everyone dinner in Hudson.

  3. Night Writer Avatar
    Night Writer

    Shouldn’t that money be going to decorative water fountains, bike lanes and Community Development slush funds?

  4. kel Avatar
    kel

    “Community Development slush funds?”

    With Bill Davis & Son temporarily sidelined some city monies have freed themselves up for other important uses.

  5. justplainangry Avatar
    justplainangry

    Ugh. More priceless relics to be destroyed.

  6. jdege Avatar
    jdege

    What are they paying?

    I have an old .22 single-shot that my grandmother pulled out of a brush fire, about 70 years ago, and stuck in her closet. I know it’s not been fired, or cleaned, in at least 50 years.

    If they’re offering >$100, I might well be willing to sell it.

  7. Joe Doakes Avatar
    Joe Doakes

    I’ve got a 70-year old .22 off-brand pistol that’s missing a front sight and has a touchy sear, can’t find parts anywhere on the Internet. $100 sounds like a very good price to me. There you go, Ms. Mayor, another “gun off the streets.” Bet you’ll sleep safer tonight.

  8. The Big Stink Avatar
    The Big Stink

    For those who don’t have guns, there will be a “finders fee” of 10%. That’ll guarantee passage.

  9. Scott Hughes Avatar
    Scott Hughes

    Me too…..I have a couple of junkers that I could get rid of and use the paid money to buy better guns or more ammo!!!

  10. Troy Avatar
    Troy

    What bothers me about this is the term “buy back”: as if the city is usually in the business of selling guns to people, but now they want to buy them back from them.

    I suppose it’s too much to ask them to use a more descriptive term, like “buy up” or “buy crap”, since they want to do something so useless.

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