Shot in the Dark

Pretense Aside

SCENE: Mitch BERG is waiting in line at the Rack Shack on South Robert.   Stephanie Marie ANNAN – Community organizer for the 5th CD Libertarian Party – enters with a great clatter, vigorously stomps off her boots, and gets in line, finally noticing BERG. 

ANNAN:  Hey, Merg!  I don’t like all that stuff you’ve been saying about how us Ron Paul people just like to throw…what do you call it?”

BERG:  “Turd bombs”.

ANNAN:  Yeah!  The GOP did it first, back in 2008!

BERG:  Yeah, so I’ve been told.  That was about three years before I got involved in the GOP beyond going to caucuses, by the way.  I know there’s been going on eight years of tit-for-tat between the Ron Paul clicque and the “establishment”, which I’m told I’m part of, even though I got involved in the party after the Tea Party.

ANNAN:  You’re already boring me.

BERG:  That seems to happen a lot.  You all apprently got “bored” with Kurt Bills after you you all went to Tampa in 2012…

ANNAN:  Hey – there’s a special primary coming up in a house district 68B!

BERG:  Yeah, it’s been in all the papers.

ANNAN:  I suppose you’re supporting the Republican candidate, like some mindless sheeple?

BERG: No, I support the endorsed Republican candidate because I’m an intelligent, informed voter. I think the endorsed candidate, Mindy Pilph, is an excellent choice.  Although I don’t actually live in the district.

ANNAN:  I plan on supporting her primary opponent!

BERG:  Who?  Jesse Duff?

ANNAN:  Yes!

BERG:  Duff supports doubling the gas tax, banning civilian firearm ownership, rolling back school choice and instituting an entirely grievance-based curriculum, and adopting the North Korean style socialist philosophy of “Juche“, an isolationist firm of Stalinism based on all-seeing, all-knowing, omnipotent state.  Which seems – pardon me for saying so – counterintuitive for someone who was a high ranking functionary in the Ron Paul campaign four years ago.  Since Duff would seem to be the polar opposite of Libertarian, I gotta say, that’s a zig when I expected a zag.

ANNAN:  But he’s independent from the Minnesota Republican Party.

BERG:  Well, with good reason. He stands for everything the party rejects.

ANNAN:  But he’s independent!

BERG:  But he’s the exact opposite of Libertarian.

ANNAN:  So?

BERG:  So yet again, it seems that “libertarian principle” isn’t really as big a deal as trying to TP the MNGOP….

ANNAN:   Squirrel!

(ANNAN leaves the room.  And SCENE)

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Mitch Berg

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Comments

3 responses to “Pretense Aside”

  1. Mr. D Avatar
    Mr. D

    So can you get wings at the Rack Shack? Asking for a friend.

  2. Chuck Avatar
    Chuck

    This spring a Chik-Fil-A is coming across the street from the Rack Shack on South Robert. Perhaps Avery Liberille will harass you for stopping at such a place.

  3. Seflores Avatar
    Seflores

    Have to admit, when I read Mitch was at the “Rack Shack”, I thought the host of this small yet prominent regional blog was making way more from his blogads and his infrequent and very limited blegging than I would have expected and had decided to ‘upgrade’ his significant other’s, well, ability to provide shade (iykwimaityd) with enhancements. Apparently it’s a place to get pulled pork. Sorry my mind went to the gutter for even the fictional encounters MBerg has.
    My Libertarian FB friends are still mourning Dr Paul’s son not getting to the big kids table at last nights debate. They plan to sit out the Presidential even if it means a man who believes there are too many choices when it comes to deodorants (and likely styles of BBQ) is better than whatever the Republicans put up to be President.

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